Arty Quotes in Enchanted (2007)

[Nathaniel arrives in New York]

Arty: Let me guess. You're looking for a beautiful girl, too?

Nathaniel: No, actually, I'm looking for a prince.

Arty: Riiiight.

Prince Edward: [holds sword in front of construction worker's neck, trying to find Giselle] I seek a beautiful girl. My life partner, my one coquette, the answer to my love's duet.

Arty: [stuttering] I-I'd like to find one of them too, you know?

McKinley: Arty, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to take a shower today.

Arty: OK.

McKinley: 'Cause your parents are coming tomorrow, and I don't want to get in trouble.

Arty: Sure.

McKinley: You haven't taken a shower once this summer. Not once in 8 weeks.

Arty: I will.

McKinley: You're covered in dirt. Take a shower.

Arty: [on the set of Arty's play, "The Sound and the Fuhrer"] Great. Now I have three hours to find a new Ava Braun.

Hitler: You know what? Fuck her. And here's why.

Hitler: Number One - Anyone who's offended by drinking blood, obviously doesn't drink blood.

Hitler: Number Two - Anyone who drinks as much blood as I do knows it has no effect.

Hitler: Number Three - There is absolutely no scientific connection between drinking a shot of blood a day and being an extraordinary actor.

Hitler: And Number Four - it is impossible to prove Number Three.

Aunt Bella: You guys have to promise not to tell grandma! Jay?

Jay: I promise.

Aunt Bella: Arty?

Arty: She and I have very short conversations.

Jay: Where would someone like Grandma hide her money?

Arty: You're not thinking of stealing it, are you?

Jay: No, but what if we just borrowed it? I'd just love to send Pop an envelope with $9,000.

Arty: Who would he think sent it to him... God?

Jay: No. He had an uncle in Poland who died. We can say he left the money to Pop in his will.

Arty: Jay, do you think the Germans would let some Jew in Poland send $9,000 to some Jew in Alabama?