Alice Kinnon Quotes in The Last Days of Disco (1998)

Alice Kinnon: I think it's much better to wait until things happen naturally. Forcing things never works.

Charlotte Pingress: That's not true. Forcing things usually works beautifully.

Josh Neff: Take The Tortoise and the Hare. Okay, the tortoise won one race. Do you think that hare is really going to lose any more races to turtles? Not on your life.

Alice Kinnon: I like that tortoise.

Josh Neff: So do I. But if you were a betting person, would you say, "That tortoise won against the hare; in future races I'm backing him"? No. That race was almost certainly a fluke and afterwards the tortoise is still a tortoise, and the hare a hare.

Charlotte Pingress: I'm sorry, its just that you're so terrific, it makes me sick to think you might get in that terrible situation again where everyone hated you.

Alice Kinnon: Hated me?

Charlotte Pingress: You're wonderful. Maybe in physical terms I'm a little cuter than you, but you should be much more popular than I am. It would be such a shame if what happened in college should repeat itself.

Josh Neff: A lot of people like to say they won't take no for an answer. I just wanted you to know that I'm not one of them; I can be easily discouraged. I *will* take no for an answer.

Alice Kinnon: Okay. No.

Josh Neff: You don't mean that?

Alice Kinnon: No.

[Smiles]

Alice Kinnon: I'm sorry, I don't consider the guy who did the Spiderman comics a serious writer.

Alice Kinnon: That's odd he knew I drank vodka tonics. I never told him.

Des McGrath: It's uncanny.

Alice Kinnon: You mean it's a complete cliché? All women recent college graduates drink vodka tonics, or something like that?

Des McGrath: Well, maybe.

Alice Kinnon: [to Charlotte] So, Jimmy thinks I'm a total cliche?

Charlotte Pingress: I ordered a Vodka tonic too. So what? You're plenty original without having to order something weird to drink.

Des McGrath: Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it. Can I get you another?

Alice Kinnon: Thanks. Actually, if you don't mind, I think I'd prefer - um - a whiskey sour.

Alice Kinnon: There's something really sexy about Scrooge McDuck.

Dan Powers: You know, Alice, except for politics, we've got a lot in common: We're both pretty serious, and, I think, respect each other's bases for judgment. Occasionally I get reactionary thoughts, too.

Alice Kinnon: I'm not reactionary.

Dan Powers: Well, aesthetically.

Alice Kinnon: Oh, well - *aesthetically*.

Alice Kinnon: If when making love, the man... *spurts*... outside the woman, does that count as sexual intercourse?

Tom Platt: "Spurts"?

Alice Kinnon: If it... *squirts* outside, without getting in... does that count as losing your virginity?

Tom Platt: No part of the man got in at any time?

Alice Kinnon: I don't think so.

Tom Platt: I think part has to get in to be considered sexual intercourse.

Alice Kinnon: So then I was a virgin.

Alice Kinnon: I love the company! They've been so great to us there.

Dan Powers: Well, I don't know; we were exploited. But they were nice about it...

[first lines]

Alice Kinnon: I hear you have a much better chance of getting in if you come by cab.

Charlotte Pingress: You're really worried about getting in?

Alice Kinnon: Yes.

Charlotte Pingress: I thought you've been here several times before.

Alice Kinnon: Not the front way. They were private parties. We came in through the back.

Charlotte Pingress: We look real good tonight. I'm sure we're gonna get in.

[Alice and Charlotte round the corner and see a large crowd waiting outside the Disco Club]

Alice Kinnon: [beat] Let's get a cab.

Charlotte Pingress: Yeah.

Jimmy: Hey, how you been?

Alice Kinnon: Fine. How are you?

Josh Neff: [Jimmy doesn't answer] He's really depressed.

Charlotte Pingress: Oh, isn't this place great!

Josh Neff: Its fantastic! I love it.

Alice Kinnon: There's Jimmy Steinway. I can't believe it. He's already leaving?

Charlotte Pingress: You like him? I could never be interested in anyone who worked in advertising.

Charlotte Pingress: Its too bad we weren't closer friends in college. I think I could have really have helped you there. For most guys, sexual repression is a turn off.

Alice Kinnon: You're saying this for my benefit?

Charlotte Pingress: You're a good conversationalist; but, there's something of the kindergarten teacher about you. Which is really nice; but, the guys you like also tend to be on the ethereal side and get pretty far away from any physicality.

Tom Platt: This is supposed to be good for cigarette mouth. Do you smoke?

Alice Kinnon: When I drink or go out at night, I smoke. I live dangerously - on the edge. I'm no kindergarten teacher.

Alice Kinnon: We don't even have an apartment. How can we have a dinner party?

Charlotte Pingress: Well, its another incentive to get one.

Alice Kinnon: Do you really think we know each other well enough to move in together?

Charlotte Pingress: Well, maybe that's good.

Alice Kinnon: Its not just that we don't know each other well. I'm not even sure we really like each other.

Charlotte Pingress: That's okay. You know, Alice, I'm not so much of a bitch as I seem.

Dan Powers: Actually, I was thinking I'd go home.

Holly: What?

Alice Kinnon: You should come.

Dan Powers: I don' t know. I'm not really a disco type.

Charlotte Pingress: Well, who is?

Dan Powers: I probably wouldn't get in, anyway.

Charlotte Pingress: Of course you'll get in. Holly's gorgeous!

Des McGrath: Its women like you whose attitudes towards men are so dehumanizing.

Charlotte Pingress: Like what?

Des McGrath: That men are swine, obsessed with large breasts and the sex act, devoid of any idealistic romantic sensibility. When, in fact, we have that idealistic sensibility, in spades. For instance, you have no idea what men really think about women's breasts.

Alice Kinnon: What do men think about women's breasts?

Des McGrath: Well, its not just something you blurt out. Its far more complicated and nuanced.

Des McGrath: I'm sorry. I know why you're so upset. I mean, I know what really happened with Tom.

Alice Kinnon: What?

Des McGrath: That he thought you were really slutty or something. That's so stupid!

[Alice runs to a cab and Des chases after her]

Des McGrath: You can't worry about what misinterpreters think. That's so unfair. Come back to my place, we should talk. There, nothing will happen. I just need somebody to talk to. Maybe you do too.

[Alice slams the cab door shut]

Charlotte Pingress: Its very aggressive. You don't clomp around banging pans for no reason.

Alice Kinnon: Like what reason?

Charlotte Pingress: You know perfectly well.

Alice Kinnon: Because I only bang pans?

Charlotte Pingress: Well, frankly, that's not what I heard.

Charlotte Pingress: Alice is not having a cocktail? I can't believe it.

Alice Kinnon: Well, I'm not.

Charlotte Pingress: What is it? Do you have strep throat or something you are taking antibiotics for? Oh my God, you have the clap! Don't you?