Alice Klieg Quotes in Welcome to Me (2014)

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Alice Klieg Quotes:

  • Alice Klieg: I was a summer baby born in 1971 in Simi Valley, California, and I've been using masturbation as a sedative since 1991.

  • [repeated line]

    Alice Klieg: I would like to read from a prepared statement.

  • Alice Klieg: This morning I woke up and there was a pubic hair on my pillow shaped like a question mark. And it really got me thinking of unanswered questions, like all the times in my life when I was supposed to feel something but I felt nothing and all the other times in my life where i wasn't supposed to feel anything but I felt too much and the people around me weren't really ready for all of my feelings.

  • Alice Klieg: Come with me. Into another time that happened to me.

  • Alice Klieg: Ladies and gentlemen, meatloaf cake, with mashed sweet potato icing, with only 433 calories, 52 grams of protein, and only five caibo-hydrants. I think I'm going to have a slice.

  • Alice Klieg: You docked in my port.

  • Rich Ruskin: What did you have in mind?

    Alice Klieg: Something big.

  • Alice Klieg: I love your facial expressions.

  • Alice Klieg: Let's castrate.

Browse more character quotes from Welcome to Me (2014)

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Characters on Welcome to Me (2014)