Tex Quotes in Mercy Streets (2000)

[Discussing Jeremiah's sermon]

Sam: It definitely shows that you know the Bible. It's just... very long.

Jeremiah: It's as long as it should be.

Sam: I know, I know. It's just a lot of... detail to take in all at once.

Jeremiah: Sam, that's the whole point. The detail is what makes the passage so relevant.

Sam: It's not the passage. It's just... if you could deliver with a little more . . .

Tex: [interrupting] Sermon sucked, brother.

Tex: Where's your helmets? Which one's the quarterback? Pick up the ball! Pick up the ball! Aw, these Brits don't know the first thing about football.

Tex: Boy oh boy, you picked a bad time to fly, Billy. They're guerrillas all over the place blowing up planes and all. They hit four planes in four days. But I guess you young people don't read the news anymore. That, and with our people back home kicking up a shitstorm about the flow of heroin from Turkey...

Billy Hayes: I didn't have heroin. It was just a little hashish.

Tex: That doesn't matter. A drug's a drug.

Billy Hayes: It was only two kilos.

Tex: It doesn't matter if it was two kilos or 200 kilos. The Turks love catching foreigners. They want to show the rest of the world that they're fighting the drug trade.

Billy Hayes: Who are you? What's your name?

Tex: That's not important.

Billy Hayes: Are you with the American consulate here in Istanbul?

Tex: Something like that.

[Tex has a large revolver pointed at Billy whom he just recaptured trying to escape]

Tex: You seem like a nice guy, Billy. I really do feel sorry for you. But if you still try anything or try to run away again, I'll blow your fucking brains out!

Tex: Do you have a family back home?

Billy Hayes: Yeah, a mother, father, sister and brother living in Babylon, Long Island.

Tex: It's gonna be tough for them. You'll have to tell them about what you're in sooner or later. Say, how much did you pay this joker? The cab driver for the hash you bought?

Billy Hayes: $200. It was my last 200.

Tex: How much did you expect to make if you had brought that stuff back to the USA?

Billy Hayes: I was only gonna share it or sell some of it to by friends. I'm not a pusher. Honest.

Tex: [scoffs] Yeah, right. Selling dope always beats working.

Tex: You got a girlfriend, Billy?

Billy Hayes: Yeah. She was on the plane.

[Tex glares at Billy]

Billy Hayes: She didn't know anything about it. I didn't want her to.

Tex: Lucky girl.

Billy Hayes: She used to say I was the lucky one.

Tex: Let's hope you're right, Billy. Let's hope you're right.

Lili Von Shtupp: Hello, cowboy. What's your name?

Tex: Tex, ma'am!

Lili Von Shtupp: "Texmam"? Tell me, Texmam, are you in show business?

Tex: Well, no...

Lilly von Schtupp: Then why don't you get your fwiggin' feet off the stage?

Tex: What's the matter with you? Am I gonna have to start slippin' Prozac in to your Alpo?

Tex: You were way too drunk. There are rules.

Jolly Grimm: [about Queenie] I want to give her something... some kind of feeling of security. I don't know... that's what most girls want, isn't it?

Tex: She asked for that?

Jolly Grimm: Nah. You know her. She's too proud.

Tex: Man, it's gonna piss on us all night. Gonna put a serious case of crotch rot on that ugly face of yours, Junior.

Junior: Goddamn, man. You break your ass for the white man. No justice, right?

Tex: [to Elias] Goddamn it, Elias, don't mess with my pig. I ain't getting greased on this bush tonight, so you keep this sorry cheese-dick off my ass.

Tex: [after being called "Tex" several times, by JR Collier and by Shorty] "Cincy". I'm from Cincinnati. I just like hats

Shorty: I'm allergic to cats

Tex: Not "cats", "hats"... with an "h"

Shorty: Hate cats

Tex: Come on sweetheart. Let's see what you got.

Benny: What the fuck is wrong with you people? Why don't you leave us alone?

Tex: We're hungry.

Benny: You never heard of pizza?

[swings at Tex and misses]

Tex: I like liver...

[punches Benny]

Tex: and onions...

[strangles Benny]

Tex: and pain! And pain! And pain!

Tex: Time for dinner!

Benny: [lights lighter] You're toast, fuck!

Tex: Whaddaya think to our little lady?

Tinker: ...Uncertain. Looks like she might get all screamy on us Eddie.

Tex: [Slams meat cleaver on table] I wish you'd call me Tex. I told you.

Tinker: Oh I'm sorry boy. Goddamit, I'm sorry... how'd you like to do us the honor of plugging that whore up?

Alfredo: [after peeping on Michelle in the bathroom] She likes it. She likes it just fine. Just ask her!

Tex: Why don't you just shut up, stupid.

Alfredo: You shut the fuck up, motherfucker. This is my place! I'll do whatever I want here in my place!

Tex: So, how do you like Texas?

Tex: [stripping Ryan] Hey, looky here: colored drawers.

Tex, Tinker: California.

Evans: Lolita, the Don's daughter, is of special interest to me. Is that clear?

Tex: Well I-I gather you mean, uh, you don't want no one to cut your fences.

Evans: You are very, very, comprehensive.

Cherokee: You know, boys, it would be right peaceful here if this whinin' and playin' suddenly stopped.

Tex: [continues to strum his guitar] That reminds me of an hombre I once knew... always braggin' about how tough he was, and how fast he was on the draw. He and I had a crush on the same girl. 'Course it was no contest... my singin' and good looks cinched it. She fell for me. The showdown came when I was singin' a song he didn't like. I told him to go for his gun. Now considerin' everything, he was powerful fast... but not fast enough. And you know boys, I only missed two notes a-gettin' him... but I picked them up before he hit the floor.

Tex: Pat Mooney, you loafer, I told you to fill the bar'l to the brim.

Pat Mooney: What the divil's an inch of wather between friends?

Tex: A drop of water will look like the Pacific Ocean to you before we get across this desert.

Tex: Them dancin' dust-devils will play hell with us before evening.

Tex: Sandstorm's comin'! We gotta make cover quick!

Jefferson Worth: How long do you think this will last, Tex?

Tex: Mebbe three hours - mebbe three days.

Tex: Six bits for a shave! Hell, let the alfalfa grow! This town's nothin' but a nest of robbers.