Telly Quotes in The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland (1999)

Oscar: Who says you can't go home again?

Susan: Oscar, maybe you can get your friends to tell us where Elmo is.

Cookie Monster, Telly, Zoe: Oh, yeah! Yeah!

Oscar: In a minute. First I have to look at the old neighborhood here. Hey, I wonder where that old septic tank is.

Susan: Hey, wait a minute!

Gordon: No, Oscar, we've got to find Elmo first!

Cookie Monster, Telly: Elmo! Elmo!

Susan: Let's go this way.

Telly: The best way to get over an old man...

Ormandy: ...is to get under a new one!

Ormandy: [to the deliver guy at the hair salon] I need a real man Not a child or a boy Give me a hard rock Not a soft little toy You think women are hard You thick we're evil and mean Well I think maybe you don't need us

Telly: Maybe you on the wrong team

Ormandy: So I need a real man And my standards are high Don't like what you just heard Then you need not apply

Telly: [on the phone with his girlfriend] No, you can't come by here... because I'm pretending to be gay... because in L.A., a straight male hairdresser is an unemployed male hairdresser.

Ormandy: Ooh, that's a good looking man. I can't keep my legs together.

Telly: The sun rises and you can't keep your legs together.

Telly: When you're young, not much matters. When you find something that you care about, then that's all you got. When you go to sleep at night you dream of pussy. When you wake up it's the same thing. It's there in your face. You can't escape it. Sometimes when you're young the only place to go is inside. That's just it - fucking is what I love. Take that away from me and I really got nothing.

Casper: How did she smell? Did her puss stink?

Telly: Take a whiff.

[Telly holds up his fingers and Casper smells them]

Casper: Mmmmm. Butterscotch, yo. That's the best.

Telly: I think if we fuck, you would love it!

Telly: But like, if you deflower a girl man, man, you're the man. No one can ever do that again. You're the only one. No one, no one, has the power to do that again.

Casper: Right. The way I see it. My outlook on the situation. It's like getting fame, you know what I'm saying? Say you was to die tomorrow right, fifty years from now all the virgins you ever fucked are gonna remember you. Right? They gonna tell their grandkids about that shit.

Casper: That girl was 12, you hit that shit up?

Telly: Who am I? I'm the motha-fuckin virgin surgeon.

Kim: So this is your new girl, huh?

Telly: I hope so. For now.

Kim: You like 'em kinda young, right? Babies?

Telly: I like 'em new. Not like you.

Telly: You got any money?

Casper: Three pennies and a ball o' lint, kiiiddd.

Telly: I'm askin' you one last time. Do you got "dis-tick"?

Deli Owner: What are you saying, "dis-tick"?

Casper: He said this dick, motherfucker!

Telly: Condoms don't work. They either break, or they slip off, or they make your dick shrink. Nah, but you still gotta use em, yo. At least I did once.

Telly: Virgins. I love 'em. No diseases, no loose as a goose pussy, no skank. No nothin. Just pure pleasure.

Telly: You happen to have dis dig?

Deli Owner: Wha?

Telly: This dig. I'm curious. Do you have it?

Deli Owner: What is dis dig?

Telly: Dis dig.

Deli Owner: What do you say?

Telly: This dig. I'm curious. Do you have it?

Deli Owner: Wha?

Telly: Dis dig man. Dis dig, dis dig...

Deli Owner: I don't understand... I don't understand you... uhhh.

Telly: OK... one last time. Do you have dis dig?

Deli Owner: What you say... dis dig?

Casper: He said THIS DIG mutha fucka! Don't you understand english?

Korean Guy: Stupy fucky boys. Fucky.