Rob Brydon Quotes in Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story (2005)

Rob Brydon: The thing is, I can't act...

Steve Coogan: I know that.

Rob Brydon: ...with Gillian Anderson. I have a sexual thing for Gillian Anderson.

Rob Brydon: [Rob shows Steve his teeth] What do you think? Have a look at the color.

Steve Coogan: I saw the color the last time I looked. It registered.

Rob Brydon: It's what they call "not white." What color would you call it?

Steve Coogan: I would, I'd concur with "not white." I'd go further.

Rob Brydon: I mean, it's not yellow.

Steve Coogan: I, you know, I mean, there's a sliding scale, isn't there, you know.

Rob Brydon: Hint of yellow.

Steve Coogan: I think you're closest to...

Rob Brydon: Barley meadow. Tuscan sunset.

Steve Coogan: You're getting laughs, but it's not making your teeth look any better.

Rob Brydon: [Rob shows Steve his teeth] What do you think? I've had them done.

Steve Coogan: I know you have.

Rob Brydon: What do you think? Feel that one. There's no crevice. Feel it.

Steve Coogan: Don't ask me to feel your teeth.

Rob Brydon: Just close your eyes and feel it.

Steve Coogan: No. It's your fucking teeth. Christ!

Rob Brydon: What is the matter with you? You've got such a thing about, whenever there's a hint of something gay, you immediately...

Steve Coogan: What? This has nothing to do with "gay". I'm very cautious.

Rob Brydon: That's what it is. You don't want to touch another man's teeth, because you're worried you might be attracted to me. Just touch my teeth.

Dr. Slop: I can extrude the baby's head before the mother has a chance to mash its head to dough. Captain Shandy, make a baby's head of your hands. You're to imagine these sleeves are Mrs. Shandy's... funnel.

Rob Brydon: Funnel?

Susannah: Meat curtains.

Rob Brydon: Meat curtains? Brother?

Steve Coogan: My brother knows nothing of women.