Phipps Quotes in Ironclad (2011)

Phipps: Water's good sir!

Phipps: Sir Cedric! Sir Cedric! Good news. We've finally found an heir!

Sir Cedric Willingham: That's wonderful, Duncan. Who is he?

Phipps: His name is Jones. Ralph Jones.

Sir Cedric Willingham: Is he everything we've hoped for?

Phipps: [embarrassed] Well. He has his strengths and his weaknesses. You see, he's

[uncomfortable pause]

Phipps: American.

Sir Cedric Willingham: Quickly, Duncan! The strengths!

[reciting some rules of etiquette to Ralph on videotape]

Phipps: When in public, a royal personage must refrain from chewing gum, using profanity, picking his nose, scratching his p... p... p... p... private parts and staring down the bust lines of visiting female dignitaries.

Ralph Jones: What the hell! That's everything!

Phipps: [after Ralph's odd meeting with King Mulamboa] I think he did pretty well, considering. It could have been much worse!

Sir Cedric Willingham: Yes, he could have exposed himself, I suppose...

Phipps: [phone rings, he picks it up] Yes?

[to Cedric]

Phipps: The Prime Minister for you, sir.

Sir Cedric Willingham: [picks up other phone] Good afternoon, Prime Minister. Yes... Oh really? Well it's a strange world we live in, sir. Yes, thank you. Good bye.

[hangs up, to Phipps]

Sir Cedric Willingham: The Prime Minister just spoke to King Mulamboa. The King said he couldn't remember when he'd had so much *fun*...

Phipps: [jumps up, overjoyed]

Sir Cedric Willingham: [almost hugs Phipps, then stops] Um, sherry?

Phipps: Yes, please...

Ralph Jones: How long do you think you're gonna be needing me? I've never held a job for more than six months.

Phipps: Well, you see, a king is a king for live.

Ralph Jones: Good, 'cause my schedule's wide open.

Phipps: [Opens package dropped by enemy plane] It's his helmet and goggles. It means a very gallant gentleman died this afternoon. And for what? What have all these deaths accomplished? So many fine chaps have died in this war and are going to die in future wars.

[pause]

Phipps: That's all, gentlemen.

Lt. 'Scotty' Scott: It's a funny war.

Phipps: [sadly] No, not awfully.

Phipps: [Whimsically after reading a letter from home] You know, Brand, it'd be awfully nice if we had a dog around here in the mornings to come in and cheer us up.

Phipps: [Whistling and talking to an imagined dog] Here! Come on, fella! Come on here! Mind your muddy feet. Come on!

Maj. Brand: [Brand has been deep in thought and only now realizes Phipps is talking] What you doing?

Phipps: Uh, the dog.

Maj. Brand: Dog? What dog? Where?

Phipps: No, I say it would be nice if we had a dog to come in here in the mornings to sort of cheer us up, you know? And...

[He mutters as he realizes Brand has not been listening to him]

Phipps: [He kisses the letter] I thought it would be sort of cozy, you know.

Maj. Brand: [Brand eventually realizes what Phipps has been saying and he smiles faintly]