Patti Quotes in The Railway Man (2013)

Eric: Don't move.

Patti: Why not?

Eric: Because I'm looking at you.

Patti: [Kisses Eric] I've never kissed a man with a moustache before.

[pauses]

Patti: And I don't think I'm going to kiss a man with a moustache again.

Eric: And if the man removed the moustache?

Patti: Yes, that would do nicely.

Patti: When Finlay died, I was scared. I was scared that the same might happen to you.

Eric: It was different for Finlay. He didn't have you.

Patti: Did you know Warrington is famous for vodka?

Eric: [eyes on his book] You know, with all due respect to your friend, if all he mentioned is vodka, he's really only scratched the surface of Warrington.

[looks up at Patti]

Eric: the Black Prince? Remember the Black Prince? Had all his armour made there. Warrington was really the only place to go if you wanted a suit of armour. Sort of Saville Row in steel

Patti: [upon seeing the war camp] I wouldn't have lasted a day here.

Eric: I you'd been here, you'd have caused quite the stir.

Patti: I refuse to screw up your love life.

Frances: Don't be ridiculous, Patti. You are my love life.

[at the Flag Festival]

Patti: These are straight men.

Frances: In tights. Waving Flags.

Patti: Fantastic.

Frances: Yeah.

Frances: This is really bad, isn't it?

Patti: Well, it's not good. Unless you want to give your ass a facial.

Frances: That's a contradiction in terms.

Patti: i guess it would be more like an Ass-cail

Patti: There's something strange about these trees. It's like they know.

Frances: And they know that we know that they know.

Patti: They're creepy. Creepy Italian trees. Of course, the baby's going to like them cause it's going to be a creepy Italian baby who goes around saying things like 'Ciao mama' and doing that weird backward hand wave thing. Life is strange.

Patti: Can you star-69 Italy?

Patti: Think of your inner voice.

Frances: Inner voice... "What the fuck am I doing on a gay tour of Tuscany?"

Patti: Frances bought a house in Tuscany! And you're going to live there alone?

Frances: Well, I'm not there alone. I'm there with bugs.

Patti: Ew.

Frances: You're the one that made the "empty-shell person standing at the crossroads" speech.

Patti: Oh, yeah. That was me.

Patti: Yes, we have girls. We're not so cold-blooded enough to put Ed's sperm in a centrifuge and spin 'em around to separate the X's from the Y's.

Patti: How the hell do you lose twenty five million dollars?

Uncle Joe: It's easier than you think.

Patti: Carl... Carl, what happened? Is he...?

Carl: Massive coronary. He died instantly.

Patti: Really? You mean just...?

Carl: And he left everything to you, sis.

Patti: Really?

Carl: No, it wasn't even him. It was Dr. Hemmel.

Ed: You son of a bitch.

Carl: Ooh, you really wish it was the old man in the ambulance, don't you?

Ed: I did before, but now I wish it was you.

Carl: How are your girls, Ed?

Patti: That's right, we have girls. You know why? Because we weren't cynical and cold-blooded enough to put Ed's sperm in a centrifuge and spin it around to separate the X's from the Y's! Excuse me, brother, but no matter how much uncle Joe is worth, there is a line below which we will not go. Jolene? Joette? Let's go in, girls.

[a blind man and a man in a wheelchair are arguing over the only handicapped parking space]

Charles Ray: Hey, man, that's my parking space! Can't you see I'm blind?

Wheels: Hey, I'm more handicapped than you! I can't even make love to a woman.

Charles Ray: I can never find one! Now move it!

[Patti pulls in and steals the space]

Wheels: Hey, that's our parking spot!

Patti: Great physical beauty can be a handicap, too.

Lori: [about a Ouija board] You gotta ask it a question!

Boog: Will I... ever have a girlfriend?

Patti: No.

Lori: Boog, you gotta ask it a serious question! Like - Ouija board, Ouija board, will The Smiths ever get back together?

Boog: I just want to get laid, that's all.

Patti: Well, Boog, my funkified little friend, my suggestion is either double up on the whackin' off, or turn faggot super-quick 'cause it ain't happening here.

Boog: I tried being queer for a while, but... guys don't like me, either.

Patti: Stevie Nicks? I think I fucked her once.

Boog: I think it'd be actually pretty cool if I died from AIDS or something.

Lori: What?

Patti: Say what?

Boog: Well, that means I would've had sex with someone before I died, you know?