Palmer Quotes in Armored (2009)

Palmer: [exasperated] Why couldn't you just go along?

Palmer: [points a gun at Max] Don't tell anyone I killed you. I'm on bail.

Palmer: Fifty thousand volts, motherfucker. Have a nice day.

Palmer: [finds wedding ring in Danny's bag] What's this?

Danny Maccabee: A circle?

Palmer: You have kids?

Katherine: Huh? Hmmm?

Palmer: You have children?

Danny Maccabee: We have, sort of, a little bit of children right?

Palmer: So Bart, if you could be anyone else, who would it be?

Michael: Mr. Dechesray.

Maggie: Our mailman?

Michael: He just seems to have it all figured out.

Palmer: What's her name?

Danny Maccabee: Mrs. Maccabee. You mean her first name? Her first name is Devlin.

Palmer: Her first name is Devlin?

Danny Maccabee: Yeah, I know. Isn't that a shitty name?

Palmer: So Michael, your dad tells me you like to go to the bathroom.

Michael: When I feel it, I do it.

Palmer: I can't wait to Twitter this to all my friends.

Katherine: Oh, I forgot, you're 15.

[Danny accidentally kicks Palmer with the intention of kicking Katherine]

Palmer: Ouch! Did you just kick me?

Danny Maccabee: No I did not. Did you just kick her? Why did you kick her?

Mark Thackeray: Next, we are going to talk about various...

[Mr. Florian, the school principal, steps inside the classroom to check up on Thackeray]

Florian: Good morning.

Mark Thackeray: Good morning.

Florian: I just wanted to see how you were getting it on.

Mark Thackeray: Fine, thank you, sir.

Florian: Good. Well, thank you.

[Mr. Florian leaves; the students all chuckle. Thackeray throws away a piece of rope, then removes a student's sunglasses from his face. Palmer, a student, raises his hand]

Mark Thackeray: Palmer?

Palmer: What are we going to talk about, sir?

Mark Thackeray: About life, survival, love, death, sex, marriage, rebellion. Anything you want.

Palmer: Tonight, these men were drawn to that altar like it was a fire in the middle of winter. Even those who aren't devout came to warm themselves.

Gudrun Brangwen: How are your thighs?

Palmer: My thighs?

Gudrun Brangwen: How are they? Are they strong? Because I want to drown in flesh. Hot, physical, naked, flesh.

Palmer: Okay... I've found my other pocket. Alright, you listen to me, this is your last chance. I have a certified check for one hundred thousand dollars... and if you take this offer I'll give your dad his job back. Can't believe it, Crane's have finally won one.

Cale Crane: [Cale takes the check and looks back at her dad] Dad?

Ben Crane: If it was me I'd tell him to take his money and his empty trailer and get the hell off our farm. But... that's just me...

Cale Crane: So you're running the big colt Goliath's Boy in the classic?

Palmer: That's right. Goliath's Boy is the favorite. And when he wins the cup it'll be my fifth horse of the year.

Cale Crane: Do you think Goliath's Boy remembers what Sonya's butt looks like?

Palmer: Why?

Cale Crane: 'Cause that's all he's gonna be seeing of her on race day.

Ben Crane: You don't care about anybody, do you? Horses or people.

Palmer: Well, in fact, I do, Ben. And that's why I'm giving you the opportunty to find a new job.

Ben Crane: Are you firing me?

Palmer: That's right. You can take your Mexicans with you.

Ben Crane: They're men, Palmer. They got names.

Chairman: Is Mr. Cale Crane here?

Cale Crane: I'm Cale Crane.

Palmer: Why don't you stand up?

Chairman: Miss Cale Crane.

Palmer: [to Ben] You were the best horseman I know for the worst flock. And I can't afford to have it in my stable.

Palmer: You think of everything in terms of price tags, don't you?

Harris: Yes.

[Norris' head grows legs and tries to walk away]

Palmer: You gotta be fuckin' kidding.

MacReady: I don't know. Thousands of years ago it crashes, and this thing... gets thrown out, or crawls out, and it ends up freezing in the ice.

Childs: I just cannot believe any of this voodoo bullshit.

Palmer: Childs, happens all the time, man. They're falling out of the skies like flies. Government knows all about it, right, Mac?

Childs: You believe any of this voodoo bullshit, Blair?

Palmer: Childs, Childs... Chariots of the Gods, man. They practically own South America. I mean, they taught the Incas everything they know.

Garry: So, come on now, MacReady, Norwegians get ahold of this... and they dig it up out of the ice.

MacReady: Yes, Garry, they dig it up, they cart it back, it gets thawed out, wakes up - probably not the best of moods - I don't know, I wasn't there!

Nauls: [skates in with ripped long johns] Which one of you disrespectful men been tossing his dirty drawers in the kitchen trash can, huh? From now, I want my kitchen clean, all right? Germ free!

Childs: So how's this motherfucker wake up after thousands of years in the ice?

George Bennings: And how can it look like a dog?

MacReady: I don't know how. 'Cause it's different than us, see? 'Cause it's from outer space. What do you want from me? Ask him!

[motions to Blair]

Childs: You buy any of this Blair?

Palmer: [arguing about letting MacReady back inside] Let's open the door.

Childs: Hell no!

Windows: Do you think he's changed into one of those Things?

Palmer: He's had plenty of time.

Childs: Nothing human could have made with back here through this weather without a guide line.

Palmer: Let's open the door now!

Childs: Why are you so anxious to let him back in here, Palmer?

Palmer: Because it's so close! Maybe it may be our best chance to blow it away!

Childs: No! Let's just let him freeze to death out there!

Windows: Childs, what if we're wrong about him?

Childs: Well then, we're wrong!

Palmer: [forced at gunpoint to tie up the corpses of Clark and Dr. Copper] This is bullshit, Mac!

MacReady: Finish it, Palmer.

Palmer: They're dead, Mac!

Palmer: I was wonderin' when El Capitan was gonna get a chance to use his popgun.

MacReady: [holding dynamite] Anyone messes with me... and the whole camp goes!

Palmer: Don't argue with him!

MacReady: [facing a silent group] Anybody seen Fuchs? Somebody blew out a fuse in the lab. Lights where out in there for an hour; any ONE of us coulda gotten to him. All right, we gotta find him. Nauls, why don't you come with me and we'll look outside. Palmer, you and Windows check the inside.

Palmer: I ain't going with Windows. I ain't goin' with 'im. I'll go with Childs.

Windows: Hey, fuck you, Palmer!

Palmer: I ain't goin' with you!

Childs: Who says I want you goin' with ME?

MacReady: [emphatically] ALL RIGHT, CUT THE BULLSHIT!

[pause]

MacReady: Windows, you come with us. Norris, you stay here.

MacReady: [referring to Garry, Clack & Doc tied to the sofa] Any of them move, you fry 'em. You hear anything - anything at all - you cut loose on the sirens. We all meet back here in twenty minutes - REGARDLESS! And everybody watch whoever you're with... real close.

Major Dalby: The next time you use CC1 authority, just you make sure you have it!

Palmer: You know, it's funny... If Radcliffe had been here, I'd have been... a hero.

Major Dalby: He wasn't. And you're not.

Palmer: The fellow whose job I'm taking, will he show me the ropes?

Major Dalby: Maybe - if you're in touch with the spirit world.

Palmer: I beg your pardon?

Major Dalby: He was shot this morning.

[Palmer prepares to leave]

Inspector Keightley: Now wait a minute. What about her telephone number?

Palmer: Oh... Disconnected!

Colonel Ross: [telling Palmer about his upcoming transfer to Major Dalby's department] You won't have much time for cooking. Dalby *works* his men. And he doesn't have my sense of humor.

Palmer: [Said with a straight face] Yes, sir. I will miss that, sir.

Major Dalby: [of Palmer's dossier] It isn't usual to read a B107 to its subject, Palmer; but I'm gonna put you straight. "Insubordinate. Insolent. A trickster. Perhaps with criminal tendencies."

Palmer: Yes, that's a pretty fair appraisal - sir.

Major Dalby: Good. That last quality might be useful. But if I have any trouble with you, Palmer, I shall *bite* you, Palmer, and I shall bite you so hard you'll go right back to where Ross found you!

[Palmer and Dalby are attending a performance of a military band playing Mozart]

Palmer: Very neat. Must we sit through any more of this torture? I've got a lot of things to do.

Major Dalby: I think they're playing very well.

Palmer: Tell me who wins.

[gets up and leaves]

Inspector Keightley: That little blonde bird you was with the other evening...

Palmer: Rita?

Inspector Keightley: That's it. What's her phone number?

Palmer: You dirty old man!

Inspector Keightley: Well, you scratch my back and I'll scratch hers.

Palmer: You ought to be locked up!

Inspector Keightley: I know.

Carswell: Don't worry, man. You were the only one to come up with anything. He seemed very pleased.

Palmer: Well, he's got a right comical way of showing it.

Palmer: You didn't come here to talk to me about button mushrooms and birds.

[Courtney has found a gun in Palmer's apartment]

Courtney: You know this is unauthorised.

Palmer: My mother gave it to me for Christmas.

Courtney: Do you always wear your glasses?

Palmer: Yes. Except in bed.

[Carswell is showing Palmer the title of a book]

Palmer: [reads] "Induction of Psychoneuroses by Conditioned Reflex Under Stress". What does that mean?

Carswell: It means I know now why 17 scientists ceased to function.

Palmer: Yes?

Carswell: Look again, boy...

Carswell: [points out the essential letters of the title] I-P-C-R-E-S-S.

Palmer: Ipcress!

Palmer: [Inside the modern grocery store] I haven't seen you here before, sir.

Colonel Ross: No, well, I don't, um, really care for these American... shopping methods. One has to move with the times, I suppose, hmm?

[Palmer comes home early to find agent Courtney searching his flat]

Courtney: You're supposed to be at work.

Palmer: Oh, you are, of course.

Palmer: Have you seen everything?

Courtney: Yes, thank you.

Palmer: Then you know where the... whiskey is?

Courtney: Yes.

Palmer: Fix us both one, will you?

Bluejay: [to a guard] See that there's padding on those straps next time.

Palmer: You want to make it easy for me?

Bluejay: No. For *me*.

Palmer: What are you gonna tell Dalby on your L101?

Courtney: That you like girls.

Palmer: You got that right.

Courtney: You're not the tearaway he thinks you are. You also like books, music, cooking.

Palmer: I like birds best.

Palmer: [Reporting to Col. Ross's office] Sergeant Palmer, reporting as ordered.

Colonel Ross: Close the door... And don't slouch into my office like a pregnant camel. Stand to attention.

Colonel Ross: You just love the army, don't you?

Palmer: Oh, yes, sir. I just love the army, sir.

Courtney: You were bailed out of detention barracks.

Palmer: Yes, I was.

Courtney: So, What bailed you in?

Palmer: Er... I was stationed in Berlin and I was making rather a lot of money out of the German army, and they insisted that the British army made an example of me.

Courtney: What did you do?

Palmer: It's very complicated.

Courtney: It impressed Ross.

Palmer: It impressed me. Boy, has he got me by the short hairs for it. Still, it's better than two years in the nick. The food's terrible.

Colonel Ross: I want you to do a job for me.

Palmer: Have I any choice?

Colonel Ross: Frankly, no.

Colonel Ross: [Inside a modern grocery store, picking up a can of mushrooms out of Palmer's shopping cart] "Champignons"... You're paying ten pence more for a fancy French label. If you want mushrooms, you'd get better value on the next shelf.

Palmer: It's not just the label. These *do* have a better flavor.

Colonel Ross: Of course... You're quite the gourmet, aren't you?

Palmer: Stick *that* in my B-107.

Colonel Ross: Very funny.

First Agent: [Palmer is late in arriving for his surveillance shift] You should get up in the morning. Twenty minutes late you are, you know.

Palmer: Anything new?

First Agent: It's all in the report. And it's neat and tidy - unlike some. You ought to remember you're still in the Army, boyo

Palmer: I'll tell you what, you remember for me.

Major Dalby: A word in your shell-like ear: If there's anything to be reported to Ross, *I* report it. Understand?

Palmer: Yes, sir.

Major Dalby: [at the armorers] Give him your gun. Issue him with a Colt .32.

Murray: [hands Palmer a revolver] Do you know how to use this?

Palmer: Colt .32? Yes. I'd sooner have my automatic...

Major Dalby: [sternly] Use the Colt.

Palmer: I'll use the Colt.