Olga Quotes in The 13th Warrior (1999)

[Olga inspects Ibn's wound]

Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: Ow!

Olga: That's a woman's sound.

Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: Do that again and you'll make it.

Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: [as Olga is cleaning his wound] Ow!

Olga: You complain much.

Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: [quietly] Ow.

[she applies a swab of ammonia]

Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: What is that?

Olga: Cow urine.

Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: Cow urine?

Olga: Boiled down.

Ahmed Ibn Fahdlan: No, no. Don't put that filth on me. Water, clean water.

Olga: As you wish. Tomorrow the pus will run, and you'll have a fever.

[he lets her put it on]

Geser: Sorry Olga. I have to do this.

Olga: Yes. I understand.

Anton: Do what? Geser gripped their neck. After a few minutes Anton found out that he already was in Olga's body. Olga in Anton's body is smiling. Anton smoked and went out of the room...

Anton: Hey we have a problem. How about the voice?

Olga: Just snap 3 times. It'll change. After snapping their voice also changed. And they kept on walking. Don't smoke and try to walk straight. You're a lady now.

Anton: Why is my ass wiggling?

Olga: Because their mine.

Geser: So where are you gonna stay?

Semyon: Hey Semyon, how about I stay in your room?

Semyon: Really?

Geser: No it's something you can't handle. How about Sveta?

Olga: Sveta will be ok.

Olga: Why don't you come to Bulgaria with me?

Shivaay: Shivaay won't be able to survive anywhere except the Himalayas.

Olga: This isn't torture anymore, Jakoda. You can't leave him in a cell with a rotting corpse. It's inhuman.

Jakoda: Ransom is strong. He can take physical pain. It's the mental stress we are after.

Olga: You don't understand: if these weapons get into wrong hands, a half of the world would perish!

Mazur: And if they get into right hands, what then? would the whole world perish?

Olga: He's useless. Nothing but drink and girls. Just like his father.

Picasso: I don't drink.

[after the demonstration of a talking picture]

R.F. Simpson: What do you think of it, Dexter?

Rosco: It'll never amount to a thing.

Olga: [with heavy, snotty accent] Its vulgar!

Cosmo Brown: That's what they said about the horseless carriage.

Olga: She's got those eyes that run up and down a man like a searchlight.

Olga: [while giving Mary a manicure] Well this Crystal Allen is a friend of mine, she's really a terrible man trap, soak it please. She's behind the perfume counter at Black's, so was I before I got fired... Uh, left.

Jean Maitland: He wasn't looking for an act, he was putting one on!

Annie: You ought to stop at a filling station and get pumped up!

Judy Canfield: Ah, she ain't exactly a flat, dearie, just a slow leak.

Olga: If it's not food, it's men. Can't you talk about anything else?

Judy Canfield: And what else is there?

Olga: You have heart like Putin.

Dennis: Uh you're the one who told me what to charge!

Olga: What to charge the haves! Like dentist.

Dennis: Habs?

Olga: *Haves*. I have this, I have that. I have - tickets to the Knicks game. I have everything. I have DOLCE GABBANA underwears.

[pause]

Olga: Yah?

Dennis: Yah!

Olga: [quietly] Yah.

Olga: Do you think I am your friend?

Dennis: Yah.

Olga: My friend - you smell.

Manicurist: Ten million dollars and she gives me a quarter tip.

Olga: What a profession. Sometimes I think if I gotta look at another hangnail I'll throw up.

Billy Cole: [at the door of the strippers' dressing room] Opportunity knocking!

[when he has their attention:]

Billy Cole: Hi, it's Billy Cole!

Olga: [broken English] Me thought it was Tom Hunks.

Billy Cole: No, it's not Tom Hunks. It's me. Oh, got you a little something. Ta-dah!

[offers a potted bonsai tree]

Crystal: [cocking her blond head] Oh, it's so small.

Billy Cole: That's what they all say.

Crystal: [giggles] What is it?

Billy Cole: It's a bonsai tree. They're very rare. And very expensive.

Olga: So are we.

Julie: Look, Billy, we work hard here. We don't have time for your schemes.

Billy Cole: This ain't no schemes. It's... volleyball!

Olga: [she's Russian, she mispronounces] Wally ball?

Crystal: So we're gonna get... rich, playing around in the sand?

Champagne: And trust me, the sand, it gets in everything!

[dismissive gesture, grunts]

Billy Cole: No, no, you don't understand. Beach volleyball is an Olympic sport, and we can make it sexy!

Crystal: Well then, how come no-one's thought about your great idea until now?

Billy Cole: Lots of guys have ideas, but they don't know how to sell 'em. I know how to sell 'em.

Julie: I'm out of here. Ladies, Billy...

[leaves]

Billy Cole: So what do you say, girls? I meet you tomorrow morning at Zuma Beach?

Olga: [heavy accent] Okay, I do.

[waving a finger:]

Olga: If we make extra money.

Champagne: Me too, cos I don't wanna be shaking my booty forever.

Billy Cole: Okay, I see you tomorrow.

Crystal: Hey, Billy! What do we wear?

Billy Cole: [smiles] Dress for sport.

Billy Cole: [at beach with bikini girls, first practice session] These are balls.

Champagne: Oh, we know all about balls.

Billy Cole: I'm happy for you. These are...

[as if speaking to a child]

Billy Cole: volleyballs.

Olga: Ach, we know how to play wally ball.

[takes one of the balls from him]

Billy Cole: Fine.

[curtly tosses the other ball at Champagne]

Crystal: [gloomily] We got beat.

Olga: I no like competition wally ball. And they broke four of my nails.

Crystal: We were a joke. People were making fun of us.

Champagne: Yeah, and they were treating us like we were... sex objects.

Crystal: Champagne's right. I mean, in here it's every girl for herself. Out there, it felt like we were part of something.

Corazon: Yeah, and we were as good as those white West Side bitches who pay my cousin minimal wage to clean their toilets.

Billy Cole: [the girls visiting him in his new trailer] Just passing by?

Crystal: We've been thinking. We... we love playing volleyball, but we just wanna be the best.

Billy Cole: [nods as he puffs on cigar] Good! That's what I want. I want you to be the best.

Olga: [strong accent] Ve don't vant to do anymore bachelor parties and company picnics.

Champagne: We just wanna play volleyball.

Crystal: But legitimately, for like AVP or AAU.

Olga: And what about the Olympics? Even Russia has a team!

Billy Cole: I do understand. But first I want you to do this bachelor party coming up.

[coughs on cigar]

Billy Cole: Get a lot of money for that.

[still doing everything his way]

Billy Cole: [change of heart after volleyball-in-the-mud fiasco] I have something to say... Everything I have done, up until now, has been for all of us, not just for me.

[grimaces]

Billy Cole: So I ain't apologizing to nobody.

[the girls, especially Crystal, eye him with a hurt look, and Tenspot shakes his head]

Billy Cole: I have been a little bull-headed,

[sighs]

Billy Cole: I haven't really listened to anybody,

[Olga and Carazon listen attentively]

Billy Cole: actually... I'm kind of a putz.

[genuine regret]

Billy Cole: Oh, I guess I am apologizing. I just hope from now on, we could just start... maybe just... make a clean slate of it, start all over again.

Olga: [moved] Billy... we're here, aren't we?

Billy Cole: [he smiles, nods, and Crystal perks up] From now on, there ain't gonna be no b.s. Tommy Z called, he said that if you guys wanna come dance over there, you're welcome to come anytime you want.

[Corazon shakes her head]

Billy Cole: If you stick around here, you gotta work, but you're gonna be part of something, part of something good, something damn good, you're gonna be part of a team.

[nods]

Olga: Ve still get to keep our fees though?

Billy Cole: There ain't gonna be no more tips, cos you ain't gonna work in more bachelor parties and you ain't gonna work in any more conventions, and when you play volleyball, you're not gonna be playing in the goddamn mud!

[girls happy to hear this]

Billy Cole: You're gonna play real volleyball!

Olga: Tonight you will be blinded by passion.

Magda: Oooh! I bet it was that laxative you took earlier.

Olga: Susie... Sarah... I once read that names which begin with the letter 'S' are the names of SNAKES! Sssss! Ssssss!

Sarah: [sticks her tongue out at Olga] Mmmmmmm!

Olga: Ssssss!

Olga: Mmmmm!

Suzy Bannion: Hey, thanks, my room is really pretty.

Olga: Do you like it? You're sweet, I bet we'll do fine together.

Suzy Bannion: Even if I have the name of a snake?

Olga: Oh, I was just kidding! Don't tell me you're as touchy as Sarah.

Suzy Bannion: No.

[Back at the car with Marc]

Marc: What'd you do?

Olga: Nothing. Don't pay any attention; my father's just a little crazy.

[At Rodi's feet, a lizard with a pin through it's head, squirming on the ground]

Rodi: Olga! Come back here this minute!

[Olga walks back to her father]

Olga: What is it?

Rodi: You little witch. I told you not to do that again!

[Slaps Olga across the face]

Rodi: Now off you go- go on!

[Olga gives her father an evil smirk as she backs away]

Olga: If you believe darkness has won, then it has!

Olga: [to her sister, Pusya - lover of German commandant] Don't you dare mentioning mother! You had not russian mother.