Mortimer Granville Quotes in Hysteria (2011)

Edmund St. John-Smythe: [brainstorming] The Rubby-Nubby.

Mortimer Granville: The Vibratorium.

Edmund St. John-Smythe: The Jiggly-Wiggly?

Mortimer Granville: Paroxysmator.

Edmund St. John-Smythe: Oh, the Sorcerer's Apprentice.

Mortimer Granville: The Excitetator?

Edmund St. John-Smythe: Mr. Wobbly.

Mortimer Granville: Oh, please.

Edmund St. John-Smythe: What about, The Squealer?

Mortimer Granville: Sir, I would be enormously grateful for any position that allowed me to offer relief to my patients, with little chance of killing them.

Molly: What do you call that little thing?

Mortimer Granville: I was calling it the feather duster.

Molly: Well I'd think of something quick, so that a girl knows what to ask for.

Charlotte Dalrymple: I am a woman like any other.

Mortimer Granville: Oh no, you're quite unlike any woman I've ever met.

[pause]

Mortimer Granville: Will you be alright?

Charlotte Dalrymple: Yeah, I'm fine. I've got lots of friends in prison.

Charlotte Dalrymple: For us it's mindless housework and doting on some halfwit.

Mortimer Granville: You can make some halfwit very happy.

Charlotte Dalrymple: It's simply not enough for me, or for most women. Would it be enough for you?

Mortimer Granville: Oh, I'm not most women.

Mortimer Granville: I tell you Edward, the healing arts in England are positively lethal. It's not a coincidence the morgues are placed adjacent to the hospitals.

Dr. Robert Dalrymple: I won't lie to you Granville; its tedious, tiring work. Are you fit?

Mortimer Granville: I have never shrieked from hardwork in the pursuit of helping the most needy among us.

Dr. Robert Dalrymple: Jolly good.

Charlotte Dalrymple: It must be difficult pleasuring half the women in the city.

Mortimer Granville: Madam, *pleasure* has nothing to do with it, I can assure you.

Charlotte Dalrymple: Well I suppose that depends on whether you're *over* the table or on it.

Charlotte Dalrymple: Something wrong?

Mortimer Granville: No, no. Um... I've just never seen you so... so...

Charlotte Dalrymple: formally attired?

Mortimer Granville: I was going to say... clean.

Emily Dalrymple: Good night, Doctor.

Mortimer Granville: How is it, Miss Dalrymple, that you are so much the ideal and your sister is so... so volatile?

Emily Dalrymple: Well, I'm hardly ideal, Doctor, and... Charlotte, she just... feels everything so strongly. If you truly knew her, you would see she is terribly clever and wonderfully charitable.

Mortimer Granville: Well, if she's earned such love and admiration from one so kind and gentle as yourself, I shall never speak poorly of her.

Emily Dalrymple: Good night, Doctor.

Mortimer Granville: Good night, Miss Dalrymple.