Morris Finsbury Quotes in The Wrong Box (1966)


Morris Finsbury Quotes:

  • [last lines]

    Detective: All right, come on, come on, what's going on? Come on, what is it? Come on!

    Clergyman: Please, sir, I beg of you, there's a dead man here.

    Detective: All right, no one move!

    [long pause while he realizes it's a church burial]

    Detective: Finsbury?

    Michael FinsburyJulia FinsburyMasterman FinsburyJoseph FinsburyMorrisJohn Finsbury: Yes?

    Detective: MORRIS Finsbury!

    John Finsbury: [turning Morris around and pointing at him] Yes.

    Detective: Morris Finsbury, I arrest you for stealing £100,000.

    Lawyer Patience: But the money has been returned, sir.

    Detective: Who are you, sir? Some sort of accomplice?

    Lawyer Patience: Certainly not: I am his solicitor.

    Detective: Oh, you've brought your solicitor with you, have you? Yes, I've met your type before.

    Lawyer Patience: No, no, no. I mean, I, I, I'm the administrator of the tontine.

    Detective: Tontine?

    Joseph Finsbury: Named after Lorenzo Tonti, a Neapolitan banker.

    Detective: And who are you, sir?

    Joseph Finsbury: I...

    Masterman Finsbury: [interrupting] He's nobody. He's my young brother.

    Detective: And who are you, sir?

    Masterman Finsbury: None of your business, sir!

    Detective: I shall have you arrested for indecent exposure!

    Julia Finsbury: Oh!

    Michael Finsbury: My grandfather was recently buried, sir.

    Detective: And who are you, sir?

    Julia Finsbury: He is Michael Finsbury.

    Detective: And who are YOU, madam?

    Michael Finsbury: She is Julia Finsbury, shortly to become... Julia Finsbury!

    Detective: Young man, did you know there was a body in the piano?

    Peacock: I did it.

    Detective: Who is he?

    Michael Finsbury: He is the butler, sir.

    Detective: The butler did it?

    Michael Finsbury: No, sir. I put the body there.

    Detective: Is this true?

    Michael Finsbury: Yes sir.

    Detective: In that case, you are entitled to a reward of £1,000. You are responsible for bringing the Bournemouth Strangler to his just end.

    Michael Finsbury: A, a thousand pounds? Oh, but I-I-I don't, I don't deserve it. The body just arrived in a barrel.

    John Finsbury: I sent it.

    Detective: And who are you, sir?

    Morris Finsbury: He is of diminished responsibility, officer. It was all my doing. If there's any justice in this naughty world, the reward is mine.

    Detective: And WHO are YOU?

    [falls into open grave]

    Morris Finsbury: You remember me - Morris Finsbury. I was falsely accused of stealing a hundred thousand pounds, whereas in fact it was me, and me alone, who was responsible for bringing the Bournemouth Strangler to his just desserts.

  • Morris Finsbury: Now what we need is a venal doctor.

    John Finsbury: But - Uncle Joseph's dead! It's too late!

    Morris Finsbury: Not for him, for us! Now, you remember that chambermaid you got into... um...

    John Finsbury: ...thing.

    Morris Finsbury: Thing. Who was the doctor who did the, um...

    John Finsbury: ...thing. Uh, Pratt, Dr. Pratt.

    Morris Finsbury: Was he venal?

    John Finsbury: I - I didn't like to ask.

    Morris Finsbury: Well, did he do the...

    John Finsbury: ...thing. Yes.

    Morris Finsbury: Good.

    John Finsbury: But... what's he got to do with it?

    Morris Finsbury: He's part of the plan. Now you and I are the only two people in the world who *know* that Uncle Joseph is, uh...

    John Finsbury: ...thing.

    Morris Finsbury: ...dead.

  • Doctor Pratt: Well, it'll cost you five shillings.

    Morris Finsbury: Price is no object.

    Doctor Pratt: Right. Ten shillings, then. Payable in advance.

  • Morris Finsbury: I collect eggs, Doctor.

    Doctor Pratt: Eggs, yes. Oh, I enjoy an egg myself, yes. They don't make good pets, though; you can never get them in at night.

  • Morris Finsbury: I was wondering - do you by any chance happen to have any - uh - death certificates?

    Doctor Pratt: Do I happen to have any death certificates? What a monstrous thing, sir - what a monstrous thing to say to a member of the medical profession! Do you realize the enormity of what you have just said?

    Morris Finsbury: Yes. Do you have any death certificates?

    Doctor Pratt: How many do you want?

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