Maxwell Quotes in The Courier (2012)

Maxwell: [dressed as Elvis] Is this the face a man I used to be? This is the face of a broken hearted.

[last lines]

Maxwell: You're never forgiven your sins.

Jack: You going camping?

Maxwell: Does it look like I'm going camping?

Prince Hakeem: I'm willing to pay one million dollars for this honor, don't disappoint me.

Maxwell: No, sir. Paige will be there.

Maxwell: You had better learn how to play the game, and I don't mean just the game of football.

Maxwell: Ladies, ever had a quarterback sandwich?

Maxwell: You know Hartman, goodie-two-shoes is fidgeting around like a one-legged cat trying to bury shit on a frozen pond, until old Seth fixes him a couple of pink poontang specials. You know, that crazy drink that I fix for stewardesses? Two shots out of that and Hartman is shot to shit, freaked out. I mean, I never saw a guy having so much fun and crying at the same time!

Maxwell: Drake, now, takes out a bunch of those fake dicks.

Maxwell: That's not gross! Shit, gross is when you go to kiss your grandpa good night and he sticks his tongue down your throat. That's gross! Anyway, he's got one that's about 8 inches long and pink, and its got these little crinkles in it, and its got this grinder that makes it go in and out...

Coach Johnson: The difference between winning and losing is about this much

[holds his fingers about one inch apart]

Coach Johnson: ...

Maxwell: That's the same size as his pecker!

Maxwell: Hell, Poot, we're all whores; might as well be the best.

Maxwell: I'm a doctor and I believe in the spirit world.

Andrew: Oh, you have to, Maxwell, that's where all your patients end up.

Maxwell: Andrew, are you all right?

Andrew: Maxwell, I think I fractured my last remaining nose

Maxwell: You shouldn't fly. You're a mammal.

Andrew, Maxwell: Thank you, Maxwell. A doctor with a license is no smarter.

Maxwell: He never tires of insulting me, but when he's sick...

Andrew: Yeah? Who overcharges me?

Maxwell: But you always get well, don't you, Andrew?

Andrew: I would get well anyhow, Maxwell, even without the leeches.

Maxwell: I never felt like this. The moment I smelled her I loved her.

Andrew: Well, smell someone else. She's taken.

Ariel: I don't love you.

Maxwell: Because you don't know me. Give me ten minutes, ten lousy minutes.

Maxwell: I think too much of Satan to use cats as experiments.

Maxwell: It was in Miersholtz' eyes when he wanted to murder me. It was in Mrs. Buckley's eyes when she wanted to murder her husband. Alice had the gleam in her eye when she wanted to find me. She'd murder me! I must get rid of her. How? Mrs. Buckley! She will help. She must help!

Maxwell: Not only do I look like Meirschultz, I am Meirschultz!

Mrs. Buckley: I think we speak the same language. I am right?

Maxwell: I don't get what you mean. Same language?

[last lines]

Maxwell: Can we go?

Kerrigan: Yes, yes.

[Bad guys Ripley and Maxwell are astonished that their car has been stolen]

Maxwell: There must be some crooks around here!