Max Abbitt Quotes in Kissing a Fool (1998)

Max Abbitt: True love cannot be found where it does not truly exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does.

Max Abbitt: This is not a toothpick, okay? It's an Australian chewing stick. See, I know other countries in Europe!

[on Jay putting an end to Max's hedonistic lifestyle]

Jay Murphy: I mean, Max, you don't wanna become that fourty-year-old guy who's still out at the clubs with the silk shirt and gold chains trying to pick up on college girls, do you?

Max Abbitt: Of course not, Jay... at forty, I wanna be the bald guy with a pony-tail and a Harley trying to pick up High School girls.

Jay Murphy: You're an idiot.

Max Abbitt: Yet you're the one in therapy.

Jay Murphy: You're the one who SHOULD be.

Max Abbitt: Maybe you can get me in! I've always wanted to pay a hundred bucks an hour to talk myself out of being happy.

[Speaking about a large book]

Jay Murphy: So read it then.

Max Abbitt: Read it? I can barely lift it!

Max Abbitt: I thought we agreed not to set each other up anymore.

Jay Murphy: No, I agreed not to let you set me up anymore after that girl who you said was perfect for me tied me up and came out with that hood and cane and offered to beat the shit out of me.

Jay Murphy: Why would I set you up with some girl that I banged?

Max Abbitt: Share the wealth, brother.

Max Abbitt: I'm not gonna depress myself, and sit in my room all night listening to Barry Manilow records.

Jay Murphy: Hey, that was a radio special!

Max Abbitt: He's drunk, he's been drinking an awful lot lately.

Jay Murphy: He's right!

Jay Murphy: You're an idiot.

Max Abbitt: You're the one in therapy!

Max Abbitt: Ever have sex in a Mercedes? Convertible.

Max Abbitt: You stick with the Virgin Mary, and remember, if you fuck it up again, you're back to Italy doing another romance novel.