Lord Smithwick Quotes in Without a Clue (1988)

Dr. Watson: Believe it or not, I'm every bit Holmes's equal as a detective.

Lord Smithwick: [scoffing] Dr. Watson...

Dr. Watson: Ha ha, I happen to know that you recently recovered from an illness; that you smoke a pipe, ah!, probably, uh, rosewood; and you spent time in China...

Inspector Lestrade: [interrupting] Sorry, doctor, this is no time for parlor games.

Dr. Watson: I'm not playing parlor games-...

Inspector Lestrade: Doctor, this is a matter for professionals!

Sherlock Holmes: [bursting in] You've got to help me! There's two big men...

Dr. Watson: Holmes, you're back - so good to see you! My, this is a clever disguise - a drunken lout. Ha, very realistic.

Sherlock Holmes: There's two - this one big fellow...

Dr. Watson: Ah, excuse us just a moment.

[He whisks Holmes into the next room; after some banging about they return, now calm]

Dr. Watson: Gentlemen, Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

Sherlock Holmes: Ah, Lestrade. It's good to see the department's letting you out at night again. Lord Smithwick - trouble at the exchequer?

Lord Smithwick: Well, to be honest - Wait, how did you know?

Sherlock Holmes: The same way that I can tell you recently recovered from an illness; smoke a pipe, probably rosewood; and have spent some time in...

Dr. Watson: [prompting] China.

Sherlock Holmes: China.

Lord Smithwick: AMAZING!

Sherlock Holmes: Thank you. Uh, uh, Lord, uh, Smithwick, um, before we start, perhaps a... little sherry?

Lord Smithwick: I wish we could. But the matter which brings me here involves the fate of the entire Empire.

Sherlock Holmes: I see. Perhaps a whiskey, then?

Inspector Lestrade: His Lordship wishes to see Mr. Holmes.

Dr. Watson: I'm sorry to say he's not here at the moment.

Lord Smithwick: Oh, how disappointing.

Inspector Lestrade: Sir, as I said before, I really don't think Mr. Holmes' involvement in this case is at all necessary.

Dr. Watson: I quite agree.

Inspector Lestrade: You do?

Dr. Watson: However, the Crime Doctor is at your disposal.

Inspector Lestrade: Who the deuce is the Crime Doctor?

Lord Smithwick: And I don't have to tell you what that would mean.

Sherlock Holmes: Yes you do.