Mary Maceachran Quotes in Gosford Park (2001)

Constance: Tell me, what happened to William's little maid? I never saw her again after that dinner.

Mary Maceachran: Elsie?

Constance: Hmm.

Mary Maceachran: She's gone.

Constance: Aw, it's a pity, really. I thought it was a good idea to have someone in the house who is actually sorry he's dead.

Mary Maceachran: They said Sir William was planning to cut Lady Sylvia out of his will in favour of Miss Isobel.

Constance, Countess of Trentham: That's nothing. In the new will, Sir William left Lady Stockbridge 100,000 pounds. Sylvia thinks it's a huge joke, especially since she won't have to pay it.

Constance, Countess of Trentham: So what's the gossip in the servant's quarters?

Mary Maceachran: Um, nothing my lady.

Constance, Countess of Trentham: Nonsense. Come on, out with it.

Mary Maceachran: Well, is it true that Sir William could have married Lady Stockbridge if he'd wanted to?

Constance, Countess of Trentham: Is that what they're saying?

Mary Maceachran: Only that Lord Carton was after Sir William for one of them but he didn't care which.

Constance, Countess of Trentham: What would you say if I told you, they cut cards for him.

Constance: They're rather a mixed bunch. That Mr. Weissman's very odd. Apparently, he produces motion pictures. The Charlie Chan Mysteries. Or does he direct them? I never know the difference. Mary! I suppose it's fun having a film star staying but there's always so little to talk about after the first flush of recognition. And why has Freddy Nesbitt brought that awful common little wife of his? Isabel only asked him because another gun dropped out; that's no excuse to inflict her on us all. Mary... Tomorrow, I'll have breakfast in bed, and then get straight up into the tweeds. What shirt have you brought?

Mary Maceachran: The green with the pink stripe.

Constance: Oh no dear, no. No, that's quite wrong. Always something very plain for country sports - the one I wore today will do.

Mary Maceachran: But it's soiled.

Constance: Well you can wash it, can't you?

Mary Maceachran: Nobody can stab a corpse and not know it.

Robert Parks: Really? When was the last time you stabbed a corpse?

[last lines]

Constance: Could you imagine someone being hanged because of something I said.

Mary Maceachran: I know. And what purpose could it possibly serve?

Mary Maceachran: Mr. Parks...

Robert Parks: Robert.

Mary Maceachran: Robert. When you said you'd surprise me, you didn't mean anything by it, did you?

Robert Parks: Why? Don't you like surprises?

Robert Parks: Here we go again.

Mary Maceachran: That's just it. I've never done a real houseparty before. Not properly anyway.

Elsie (Head Housemaid): How come you got taken on as a countess lady's maid if you've got no experience?

Mary Maceachran: She wants to train me. She said she didn't care about experience.

Elsie (Head Housemaid): She didn't want to pay for it, you mean.

Mary Maceachran: What's Lord Stockbridge like?

Robert Parks: He thinks he's God Almighty. They all do.

Mary Maceachran: What will Lady Sylvia do now?

Lewis: If I were her, I'd set up in London as a glamorous widow with all the gentlemen chasin' me for my money!

Robert Parks: What's your name?

Mary Maceachran: I think here I'm called Trentham.

Robert Parks: [laughs] No, I meant your real name.

Mary Maceachran: Oh. Mary. Mary Maceachran.

Robert Parks: Blimey. What does Her Ladyship call you?

Mary Maceachran: Well, she should call me Maceachran now I'm a lady's maid. At least that's what my mother says. But Her Ladyship can't pronounce it, so she just calls me Mary.

Robert Parks: I don't blame her.

[talking about Lady Sylvia]

Mary Maceachran: What was her family like?

Elsie: What you'd expect: toffee-nosed and useless. Her father was the Earl of Carton, which sounds good except he didn't have a pot to piss in.

Mary Maceachran: Her Ladyship says Sir William loves his shooting.

Elsie: Yeah, he does. Can't hit a barn door but he does love it. Sweet, really.

Mary Maceachran: What do I do with her Ladyship's jewels?

Elsie (Head Housemaid): This way. George is in charge of the safe, he's the first footman and you want to watch where he puts his hands.

Mary Maceachran: Where's Mrs Croft?

George (First Footman): Always eats with her own staff.

Mary Maceachran: Does she take her pudding to Mrs Wilson's room? Our cook does that.

George (First Footman): Fat chance, they hate each other.

Constance, Countess of Trentham: Are any of the others getting up for breakfast? The women, I mean.

Mary Maceachran: I think Lady Lavinia may be.

Constance, Countess of Trentham: That settles it. Come back at half past eight. I'll get dressed. It's the greatest bore, of course, but I don't want to miss anything.

Mary Maceachran: Don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Elsie (Head Housemaid): At least I know that gives me room for manoeuvre.