Lawrence Jamieson Quotes in Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988)

[Sitting at the dinner table]

Freddy Benson: Excuse me. May I go to the bathroom first?

Lawrence Jamieson: Of course you may.

Freddy Benson: [after a pause, and with relief] Thank you.

Lawrence Jamieson: Do you ever have a single thought that originates from above the waist?

Freddy Benson: No!

Lawrence Jamieson: Freddy, as a younger man, I was a sculptor, a painter, and a musician. There was just one problem: I wasn't very good. As a matter of fact, I was dreadful. I finally came to the frustrating conclusion that I had taste and style, but not talent. I knew my limitations. We all have our limitations, Freddy. Fortunately, I discovered that taste and style were commodities that people desired. Freddy, what I am saying is: know your limitations. You are a moron.

Lawrence Jamieson: A poacher who shoots at rabbits may scare big game away.

[Ruprecht is mauling Lawrence's new girlfriend]

Lawrence Jamieson: Ruprecht, do you want the genital cuff?

Freddy Benson: [omitted from the profit distribution] Excuse me. What about me? What do I get?

Lawrence Jamieson: You are the student. You get knowledge.

Lawrence Jamieson: You've been banging on your pots again, haven't you? I've told you... if you keep on doing it, you won't have any pots left