Laura Pickler Quotes in Butter (2011)

Laura Pickler: How dare you bring Oprah into this?

[first lines]

Laura Pickler: I believe in America. I believe we are the best. I believe we're number one. And I won't apologize for that. My husband and I are survivors. We fought tooth and nail to get where we are today. How? The old fashion way, hard work and a can-do attitude. And here in the great State of Iowa, no less, where all great battles begin. My name is Laura Dean Pickler, and this is the cut-throat story of greed, blackmail, sex, and butter.

Brooke Swinkowski: Listen, would you prefer it if I didn't enter this whole butter contest thing?

Laura Pickler: Absolutely.

Brooke Swinkowski: Excellent.

[signs up]

Brooke Swinkowski: It's on cunt!

Carol Ann: I haven't heard that word since my dad died.

Laura Pickler: I plan on proudly bearing his children.

Brooke Swinkowski: So, you want a cookie 'cause you're going to get pregnant? I get pregnant, like, once a month!

Laura Pickler: [in photo op with Down syndrome children] I've always said that your people are the small flashlights that help the dark world find its lost car keys.

Little Girl: What?

Laura Pickler: You're sleeping on the couch tonight.

Bob: I sleep on the couch *every* night.

Laura Pickler: And Camp Butter... it doesn't just organize itself!