Keenan Quotes in Playing by Heart (1998)

Keenan: What did I ever do to deserve you?

Joan: Usually that line is screamed at me by someone running out the door, not by someone standing in front of me and staying. It makes for a nice change.

Keenan: That's the ugliest cat I've ever seen.

Joan: She's an angel.

Keenan: She only has one eye.

Joan: Yeah, but it's her good one.

Keenan: This may sound corny, but... you don't want me. I'm damaged goods.

Joan: So? We're all damaged goods.

Keenan: I can't stop thinking about you.

Joan: I love conversations that start with the guy saying "I can't stop thinking about you." Mind you I've never actually been on the receiving end of any of those conversations...

Keenan: Just looking at you makes me happy.

Joan: I have - I have to sit down.

[almost knocks over the chair sitting down]

Keenan: When we're together, whether or not I show it, I just can't wait to hear the next words out of your mouth. But right now I need to ask you to do something for me.

Joan: Anything.

Keenan: Shut up.

Joan: You don't say much, do you?

Keenan: Does anyone when they're with you?

Joan: [to waitress] I'll have a vodka martini, very dry, straight up. three olives, and... my sullen friend here will have...

Keenan: A Coke.

Joan: The poster boy for designated drivers will have a *Coke.*

Keenan: You're terrific, sensational really, but I'm not right for you.

Keenan: This... isn't anything. It's not anything now and it won't be anything ever.

Joan: WOW. Message received, end of date.

Keenan: My mind has an endless capacity for useless information.

Joan: Hugh designs video games.

Keenan: Any I'd know?

Hugh: Uh..."Killer Golf" That was the last.

Keenan: Oh, man. That game was awesome! You have a hell of an imagination.

Joan: Hey, you owe me a dance.

Keenan: Just one?

Joan: No.

Luca: [Keenan has just suggested that Luca ask Michelle whether she would consider a relationship with a zerophiliac] No way I'm gonna ask her that!

Keenan: Well you have to! Come on, where are your nads man?

Keenan: [the two exchange a look] We'll get 'em back.

Luke: Keenan c'mere! Quick!

Keenan: What?

Luke: [looking at self in mirror] Well I HAD hair, man!

Keenan: You're gonna' have a great time with her tonight. Just be yourself... mostly.

Keenan: You mean, you're gonna' try to keep yourself from getting turned on?

Luke: Yeah.

Keenan: C'mon, Luke, you get turned on by two scoops of ice cream.

Keenan: [Keenan has just suggested that Luca ask Michelle whether she would consider a relationship with a zerophiliac] No way I'm gonna ask her that!

Luca: Well you have to! Come on, where are your nads man?

[the two exchange a look]

Luca: We'll get 'em back.

Keenan: Aww, now wait a minute. Are you trying to tell me that this Professor Lorenz is a hypnotist as well as a horticulturist?

Dr. Foster: These young girls, whether dead or alive, are being used by Lorenz in some manner as human guinea pigs to sustain his wife in a youthful state.

Keenan: Oh, that's preposterous.

Patricia Hunter: It's nothing of the kind. Scientists are finding out every day that glands and hormones have a lot to do with life and health.

Dr. Foster: The glands in our bodies help to determine the condition of our teeth, the texture of our hair.