Johner Quotes in Alien: Resurrection (1997)

Johner: Hey, Ripley. I heard you, like, ran into these things before?

Ripley: That's right.

Johner: Wow, man. So, like, what did you do?

Ripley: I died.

Ripley: Who do I have to fuck to get off this boat?

Johner: I can get you off. Maybe not the boat.

Johner: Don't push me, little Call. You hang with us for a while, you'll find out I am not the man with whom to fuck!

Ripley: [after discovering Call is a robot] You're a robot?

Johner: Son of a bitch! Our little Call's just full of surprises.

Ripley: I should have known. No human being is that humane.

Johner: Earth, man. What a shithole.

[when the Betty hits Earth's atmosphere]

Johner: What's burning?

Vriess: Us!

Johner: Shit! You're right!

Johner: You can't fly one of these things too, can you?

Ripley: Are you kidding? This piece of shit is even older than I am.

Call: Jesus Christ, Johner, what do you put in this shit? Battery acid?

Johner: Just for color.

Johner: I'm not the mechanic here, Ironsides! I mostly just hurt people!

Johner: Well, I say if we wanna make any decent time, I say we ditch the cripple.

[to Vriess]

Johner: No offense, man.

Vriess: [giving him the finger] None taken!

[a soldier prods Johner in the back with a rifle. Johner spins and snatches it away in an eyeblink]

Johner: Don't ever touch me!

[returns it just as fast]

Johner: Ever!

Johner: Hey, Vriess, you got a socket wrench? Maybe she just needs an oil change. Can't believe I almost fucked it.

Vriess: Yeah, like you never fucked a robot.

Dr. Wren: Then this little synthetic bitch is gonna plug into the Auriga, and she is gonna take us right back to home base, according to the standard emergency procedures.

Call: No, she's not!

Distephano: Are you crazy? You still wanna bring those things back to Earth?

Johner: Haven't you been payin' attention today?

Dr. Wren: Ah, the intellectual speaks.

Johner: What's the big deal, man? Fuckin' waste of ammo.

Christie: Let's go.

Johner: Must be a chick thing.

Johner: [to Call] Kill you! Does that compute?

Purvis: God, I'm so tired.

Johner: Sleep when you die, man.

Johner: I thought synthetics were supposed to be all logical and shit. You're just a big ol' psycho girl!

Johner: [to Ripley] If you don't want to play basketball, I know some other indoor sports.

Johner: Right, you're the "new model" droid. You can access the mainframe by remote.

Call: No, I can't. I burned my modem. We all did.