Joe Jarrett Quotes in 4 for Texas (1963)

Joe Jarrett: Well, you made a mistake: you should have shot off his gun hand.

Matson: It wouldn't make any difference. Go ahead, shoot it off and I'll still get you. You shoot out my eyes, and I'll still find you! If you put a bullet in my heart then I'll make a deal with the devil! I'd trade him for just enough time to come back from hell and kill you! You hear me? I'm gonna kill you!

Joe Jarrett: [to Zack, about Matson] You know, if you ever need a friend... I wouldn't count on that character.

Zack Thomas: How 'bout we get down to business?

Joe Jarrett: Well I drink much better standing up than sittin'.

Zack Thomas: Tell me something Mr. Jarrett, how many states would you say you're wanted in?

Joe Jarrett: How many states are there Mr. Thomas?

Joe Jarrett: Oh, I give you a hundred thousand dollars and you'll give me pardon, right? You know in most states I can buy a pardon for five thousand dollars and they'll throw in a governor.

Zack Thomas: Of course you must be thinking of Rhode Island. This here is Texas.

Joe Jarrett: ...And then there are the kids...

Zack Thomas: Kids?

Joe Jarrett: ...All twenty five of them.

Zack Thomas: Twenty five? You must have the fastest horse in Texas. You'd better have a little more of this to keep your strength up.

Maxine Richter: I like men who worry about me.

Joe Jarrett: You don't have to worry about me. I'm a great worrier. Sometimes I worry for months on end.

Maxine Richter: [Talking about a nude portraid of herself] This was the only thing my husband left me. He was a... connoisseur of art.

Joe Jarrett: It's a shame he didn't leave you any clothes to go with it.

[first lines]

Joe Jarrett: Take a good look at him. He's the bad guy. And Joe Jarrett - that's me, and Zack Thomas, we're the good guys.

Matson: Let's go.

Joe Jarrett: Don't try and talk me out of this loot, Zack. I'm no soft hearted railroad president.

Zack Thomas: I'm trying to talk you into something. Now this here's a lot of money.

Joe Jarrett: Oh, yeah. Ordinarily a hundred thousand dollars'll be enough for two, but not me. You see, I was born greedy.

Zack Thomas: But this money's just the beginning, Joe. If my plan works, we'll get a half a million a year.

Joe Jarrett: Why, thank you, Zach.

Zack Thomas: Now, you want to buy in?

Joe Jarrett: I think I'll quit while I'm ahead. Nothing personal, mind you. No, I'm beginning to like you too. And a man who'd try to con you when he has a gun held on him can't be all bad.

Zack Thomas: Well, like you just said. I guess you underrated me, Joe.

Zack Thomas: You!

Joe Jarrett: No, not me. Him.

Maxine Richter: How do you feel about marriage, Joe?

Joe Jarrett: Fine, but who'd have us?

[pause]

Joe Jarrett: Oh, no, Max. You're not thinking about marriage?

Maxine Richter: No. Of course not. Why should I think about marriage?

Joe Jarrett: That's why I like you, Max. You got brains. You think like a man.

Maxine Richter: I'm glad, Joe. Then it doesn't bother you that I'm a woman?

Joe Jarrett: With what you got on, I'd be in trouble if you were a man.

Joe Jarrett: Well, here we go, Prince George.

Prince George: Yes, sir.

Joe Jarrett: Alright, the show is on.

Joe Jarrett: Alright, men. Let's go.

Zack Thomas: What do you suggest?

Joe Jarrett: Well, I don't like to louse up a new sporting jacket, but I think... well, maybe you and I, we could settle this between us, you know. Winner take all.

[last lines]

Joe Jarrett: [narrating voice over] Good guys always get married and live happily ever after. If it don't turn out too good, well, Zack and me, we figure we can always light out. And uh... oh, yeah, this is the end.

Moe: Captain, help me out, will you? I'm dealing with two mental midgets here. Now, when I say "go", we'll all point to the right. Go!

[they all point in different directions. Joe slaps them]

Joe Jarrett: Go!