Joanne Quotes in Bone Dry (2007)

Joanne: [to Eddie as he's watching his cup] I use to do that with coffee. 'Watch the little white rings get bigger and bigger... You get hypnotized.

Helena: I want to run away and join real life.

Joanne: Real life? You couldn't handle real life.

Joanne: All those kids in there want to run away and join the circus.

Helena: Great, they can have my life. I want to run away and join real life.

Pingo: [makes hand gestures]

Joanne: I know I shouldn't let her get under my skin, but she is so very, very good at it.

Helena: Where's your fruit? I brought you fruit yesterday.

[looks over at other patient; leans in close to Joanne]

Helena: She didn't take it, did she? Did she?

Joanne: [looks over; chuckles] No.

Helena: She lost her teeth yesterday. I said: "If Mum were here, she'd find them. She's amazing at finding things." She said: "If your Mum could find them, she must be a miracle worker."

Joanne: They'll be staring her in the face. They always are.

Helena: They were in the fridge.

Helena: It's not your dream, mom, it's mine.

Joanne: [giggles] That's the kind of thing people say in dreams.

Joanne: Because statements like that just personify your ignorance as it pertains to the topic of beauty.

Joanne: Vick? Can we retire the old long-sleeved competition leos?

[Flexes]

Joanne: I have a Constitutional right to bear arms.

Joanne: When is your prom? I need time, dates, transportation. And you better be getting me a corsage.

Frank: Are you kidding me? She's a bitch.

Poot: Dude.

Joanne: What?

Frank: You heard me, Miss Bossy Booty. I don't like how you act.

Poot: Dude, I totally hate you right now!

[to Joanne]

Poot: See, what Frank is really trying to say is, um, it would be my honor.

Joanne: You think I'm a bitch?

Poot: [a beat] No. Yeah, kinda, I do. But, I don't have the problem with it that Frank does. I mean, he's gay!

Joanne: Call me.

Poot: Stalk you.

Joanne: [Three good-looking guys walk past them into the arms of some girls] What do they have that we don't have?

Wei Wei Yong: Uh, lives.

Mina Hoyt: Time?

Haley Graham: [Shakes her head] Boobs.

[Mina and Wei Wei look down at their chests]

Haley Graham: [Mina and Wei Wei look at their chests]

Haley Graham: Stop being so nasty, Joanne.

Joanne: It's not called gym-nice-stics.

Haley Graham: [about the girls Burt picked for the Classics] They just get their spots handed to them? What about the rest of us?

Joanne: I don't like what you're 'instimulating', Haley.

Haley Graham: [Whispers to herself] 'Instimulating'?

Joanne: I have totally earned my spot.

Burt Vickerman: Girls.

Joanne: I'm practically a Dalmatian.

Haley Graham: Dalmatians are born with spots, they don't earn them. Which is exactly my point.

Joanne: Dogs are people, too, Haley!

Burt Vickerman: Very nice, Joanne! Touche!

Joanne: Thank you!

Poot: [to the girls] I'm Poot, and this is my hetero life mate, Frank. And we are here to be your hosts for this evening, because we are going out! *Ow*!

[Girls cheer]

Joanne: No, we aren't. We have work-outs to finish.

Mina Hoyt: Who died and made you Nadia?

Wei Wei Yong: Come on, Joanne, you know we wanna go.

Joanne: We can't just leave. Championships are three weeks away. Our routines need to be perfect.

Frank: Put some clothes on and get in the truck. We're going out!

[Poot howls]

Mina Hoyt: Come on!

Wei Wei Yong: Yeah!

[They run inside]

Frank: Come on. Can you speak?

[a beat]

Frank: Can you do anything besides gymnastics?

Joanne: [Joanne looks around at the other girls] Okay. Anything to get out of this 'tard. That's 'leotard' without the 'leo', in case you were wondering.

Joanne: [Falls asleep, snores, then jumps awake] What'd I miss?... Just kidding!

Haley Graham: [Making a phone with her hands] Mina, right?

Mina Hoyt: [Makes the phone as well] Yeah, Mina.

Joanne: Mina, put down the phone!

Haley Graham: Can you tell Joanne that I'm gonna take over and do a *real* dismount?

Mina Hoyt: Joanne, Haley's on the phone. She says she's gonna do a real dismount.

Joanne: I heard her, thank you!

Haley Graham: How about a double back?

Burt Vickerman: You will not throw a double back without training it first, Haley!

Haley Graham: Close your eyes.

Burt Vickerman: Over my dead body.

Haley Graham: A little CPR might do you good.

Haley Graham: Haley!

Joanne: So is Frank your, like, boyfriend or something?

Haley Graham: Like, no.

Joanne: Is Poot?

Haley Graham: No.

Joanne: Why not?

Haley Graham: Ew!

Joanne: So they're, like, fair game?

Poot: [Runs up and pushes Haley away] Hey, Stupid.

[to Joanne]

Poot: I prefer the term 'meat', please.

Joanne: That was spastic.

Poot: Thank you. May I accompany you to the jelly beans?

Joanne: You may.

Poot: After you, milady.

Joanne: Vick? When can we scrap the old long-sleeved leotards? We need new ones for Championships. Every college will be scouting me!

[Haley scoffs]

Joanne: Not that *you* have to worry about any of that.

Haley Graham: New leotards might disctract, you know, the judges and scouts from you... lack of talent. It's a solid strategy.

Joanne: Gee, *Pariah* Carey, I wonder why no one's scouting you. Oh, I forgot! You don't matter!

[Walks away]

Haley Graham: [to Burt] That she can even say the word 'college' is an indictment against the whole institution.

Burt Vickerman: Hey, filibuster, no one cares.

Joanne: You know boys?

Haley Graham: Yes. They're called 'friends'. You should try it sometime.

Burt Vickerman: Why not an in house competition?

Joanne: Because we no long need-o!

Burt Vickerman: Let's get back to work, ladies. No killing Haley in her sleep!

Joanne: [Trying to discourage Burt, the one against the many] If you get on this tramp, you will have a cardiovasectomy. *I* will have a cardiovasectomy! Think about your weenis!

Burt Vickerman: [Haley does a skill and tumbles on her landing] Shall we share out philosophy with Haley, ladies? Speak my mind. What are we about?

Joanne, Mina Hoyt, Wei Wei Yong, Devon, Lacey, Brooke: Clean, safe routines, guaranteed to stick.

Haley Graham: [Gags] Is he keeping your brains in jars? Or should I be concerned about the water?

Poot: [Hops up on the counter wearing a dress] So, uh, why are you buying a dress?

Joanne: Because you're taking me to your prom.

Poot: Well, shouldn't you be buying a tux? Just kidding. We can both wear dresses.

[Looks at his underarms]

Poot: Don't worry, I'll totally shave.

[Tricia hugs her coach after beam event]

Joanne: [sarcastically] Why don't you just make out?

Joanne: [Yawns at Tricia's mind-numbing beam routine] Is this how you feel when you watch my routines?

Haley Graham: Uh, yeah.

Joanne: I am *so* sorry.

Haley Graham: [V.O] V... G... A. Otherwise known as the Vickerman Gymnastics Academy. There's only one thing worse than having no control over your life. It's being forced to live it with people who hate you. And I was suddenly the filling in the middle of an 'I-Hate-You' sandwich. Meet the bread.

Burt Vickerman: [Watching over the practice] Ladies, read my mind. Read my mind, ladies.

Haley Graham: Burt Vickerman *used* to whip up the best gymnasts west of the Mississippi. That is, until his gym started producing more injuries than champions. We'd never met, and I'd been hoping to keep it that way.

Burt Vickerman: Is my mind saying 'relax'? Maybe you can read my mind, and it's completely lost. Have I lost my mind? Is that why you're staring off into space?

[Sees Haley]

Burt Vickerman: Ah. Join us.

Joanne: What is *she* doing here?

Haley Graham: Joanne Charis. Four time National Team member. Five time National Haley-Hater. Why all the hate? Well, when you walk out on Worlds and lose Team USA some team gold, it's not personal. It's national. And in the world of gymnastics, hating me was practically a sport, in and of itself.

Haley Graham: [Claps sarcastically as Joanne finishes her beam routine] Wow.

Joanne: Deja jealous, Haley? Bring back memories? We trained together at DeFrank's for how long?

Haley Graham: That would be... *too* long.

Joanne: And he'd give you so much attention because... you sucked.

Haley Graham: [laughs] Right. Yeah, I *sucked* my way to Worlds. Glad to see you haven't lost your love of accuracy, Joanne.

Joanne: Well, at least I didn't make it all the way to Worlds and um,

[Gags]

Joanne: choke.

Haley Graham: Here. Let me show you how, you little...

[Starts choking Joanne]

Joanne: [Trying to sabatoge the Mina and Wei Wei] You know, I would be nervous if I were you, too. The judge on the end is a tumbling tyrant. You even *think* about under rotating, she'll deduct. I know. The one next to her? Obsessive compulsive about handstands. I'm talking hit your vertical or die, ladies. And please, please for me, watch out for the vault dick on the end. If you don't stick it, you pretty much don't exist. Am I right, Haley?

Haley Graham: [Walks up] You still pimping that speech?

Joanne: I don't know what you're talking about.

[Walks away]

Joanne: [Lying to Mina and Wei Wei] Don't you see what she's doing? She wants you to do your hardest tricks because she knows you'll mess up. She's been practicing that stuff in old gym for weeks now. She's trying to get you guys to mess up so she can win the prize money. Duh.

Burt Vickerman: Joanne, I need you to lend Haley your team leo for the Classic.

Joanne: Ew! Unsanitary!

Burt Vickerman: [Lacey does a trick and falls, injuring her leg] Joanne, pack your bags. Lacey, I need you to lend Haley your leo for the Classic.

Joanne: Yes!

[Does a dance and falls on her face]

Joanne: [about another gymnast] She should get at least two tenths deducted for that hair.

[Haley gives her a dirty look and walks away]

Joanne: Or not.

Mina Hoyt: Oh, my god. I'm the new vault champ!

Joanne: I know! And I loved not going! I mean, if we chose the winner on every event, we could actually control the results for once.

Haley Graham: Oh my God, you're right! Since when are you brilliant?

Joanne: I don't know. Since now?

Joanne: [On the phone] Poot? I wanted a pink corsage! But white will work.

Burt Vickerman: [Phyllis wants to leave] Joanne, you're more than welcome to stay.

Mrs. Charis: Josie, let's go.

Joanne: [Joanne walks toward the exit, then stops] I think... I'm gonna go to prom first.

[Phyllis walks out]

Joanne: Did she just scratch?

David: Go, travel the whole world real quick... so you could just see everything.

Joanne: I get to see my whole world at dinner tonight.

Joanne: You're calling me a freak?

Tommy: No, I'm calling you a product of baboon lovin'. There's a distinction.

Claudia: You don't know the first thing about me.

Joanne: Likewise, I'm sure. If I just met you on the street... if you gave me your phone number... I'd throw it away.

Claudia: Well, we don't have to like each other, Jo. We're family.

Henry Larson: Joanne, look at your sister. Doesn't she look snazzy?

Joanne: Spectacular. New diet?

Joanne: I have friends in Boston, Tommy. Did you ever think about that? There are other people in this world. People who tell people. I mean, how embarrassing.

Tommy: Desert looks pretty good.

Joanne: I have friends in Boston, Tommy. Did you ever think of that? There are other people in this world. People who tell people. I mean, how embarrassing.

Tommy: Desert looks pretty good.

Joanne: Time is such a nebulous date to wait for.

Mona: And patience, they say, is a virtue.

Stella Mae: You look like you done pretty well for yourself.

Joanne: As well as might be expected.

Mona: Jo, why did you have to come back here?

Joanne: I had as much right to return to this reunion as anybody, didn't I?

Juanita: Those awful things you said about my Sidney were lies, and I want you to tell everybody they were lies!

Sissy: Sidney is dead, Jo, so let's just forget it, huh?

Joanne: Gee, Juanita, I thought this night was dedicated to remembering those days... that made us all what we are today.

Juanita: You're just one of them perverts, that's what you are!

Joanne: Well, that's what you always thought I was, Juanita.

Joanne: De ja vu.

Joanne: [discussing curling] Okay. Like shuttleboard.

James Lennox: It's shufflebaord and no. You gotta think like snooker, poker, and free-rock climbing. This is dangerous shit.

Mark: Where'd you learn to tango?

Joanne: With the French Ambassador's daughter in her dorm room at Miss Porter's. And you?

Mark: With Nanette Himmelfarb, the Rabbi's daughter, at the Scarsdale Jewish Community Center.

Mark: [sung] The opposite of war isn't peace!

Joanne: What is?

Mark: It's creation!

Mimi, Joanne: I'd be happy to die for a taste of what Angel had! Someone to live for, unafraid to say I love you.

Maureen: You know what, Miss Ivy League? I can't take much more of this. This obsessive, compulsive, control-freak, paranoia.

Joanne: What?

Maureen: I didn't pierce my nipples 'cause it grossed you out. I didn't stay at the Kink Club last night because you wanted to go home.

Joanne: You were flirting with the woman in rubber.

Maureen: There will always be women in rubber flirting with me! Give me a break!

Joanne: Take me for what I am!

Maureen: A control freak!

Joanne: Who I was meant to be!

Maureen: A snob yet over attentive!

Joanne: and if you give a damn!

Maureen: A loveable droll geek!

Joanne: Take me baby or leave me!

Maureen: And anal retentive!

All: [sung] No other road / No other way / No day but today

Mimi, Joanne, Maureen: [sung] I can't control / My destiny

Mark, Roger, Collins, Angel, Benjamin Coffin III: [sung] Will I lose my dignity / Will someone care

Mimi, Joanne, Maureen: [sung] I trust my soul / My only goal / Is just to be

Mark, Roger, Collins, Angel, Benjamin Coffin III: [sung] Will I wake tomorrow / From this nightmare

Mimi, Joanne, Maureen: [sung] Without you / The hand gropes

Mark, Roger, Collins, Angel, Benjamin Coffin III: [sung] There's only now / There's only here

Mimi, Joanne, Maureen: [sung] The ear hears / The pulse beats

Mark, Roger, Collins, Angel, Benjamin Coffin III: [sung] Give in to love / Or live in fear

Mimi, Joanne, Maureen: [sung] Life goes on / But I'm gone

Mark, Roger, Collins, Angel, Benjamin Coffin III: [sung] No other path / No other way

Mimi, Joanne, Maureen: [sung] 'Cause I die / Without you / I die without you

Mark, Roger, Collins, Angel, Benjamin Coffin III: [sung] No day but today / No day but today

Mimi, Joanne, Maureen: [sung] I die without you / I die without you

Mark, Roger, Collins, Angel, Benjamin Coffin III: [sung] No day but today / No day but today

Mimi, Joanne, Maureen: [sung] I die without you / I die without you

Mark, Roger, Collins, Angel, Benjamin Coffin III: [sung] No day but today / No day but today

All: [sung] NO DAY BUT TODAY!

Mark: [as they Tango] It's hard to do this backwards.

Joanne: You should try it in heels.

Joanne: [sung] Measure your life in love!

Mark: [teasing her] Pookie!

Joanne: [looks at him, annoyed] Shut up!

Mark: Has she ever pouted her lips and called you Pookie?

Joanne: Never.

Mark: Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?

Joanne: This is spooky.

Joanne: Didn't give an inch, when I gave a mile!

Mark: Come on!

Mimi: I gave a mile!

Roger: Gave a mile to who?

Joanne: [about Maureen] She cheated...

Mark: She cheated.

Joanne: Maureen cheated...

Mark: Fucking cheated.

Joanne: I'm defeated, I should give up right now.

Mark: Gotta look on the bright side with all of your might...

Joanne: I'd fall for her still, anyhow.

Joanne, Mark: When you're dancing her dance you don't stand a chance. Her grip on romance makes you fall.

Mark: So you think, "Might as well - "

Joanne: Dance a tango to Hell.

Joanne, Mark: At least I'll have tangoed at all.

Mark: Actually... I feel great now.

Joanne: I feel lousy.

Collins, Mark, Maureen, Mimi, Joanne, Angel, Roger Davis: To people living with, living with, living with... not dying from disease. Let he among us without sin be the first to condem La Vie Boheme.

Joanne: [sung] This is weird.

Mark: [sung] It's weird.

Joanne: [sung] Very weird

Mark: [sung] Fucking weird.

Joanne: [sung] I'm so mad that I don't know what to do. Fighting with microphones, freezing down to my bones, and to top it all off, I'm with you!

Mark: [sung] Feel like going insane? Got a fire in your brain, and you're thinking of drinking gasoline?

Joanne: [sung] As a matter of fact...

Mark: [sung] Honey, I know this act: It's called the Tango: Maureen.

Mark: I just sold my soul.

Joanne: Yeah, for $3000 a segment!

Joanne: [sung] She cheated!

Mark: [sung] She cheated!

Joanne: [sung] Maureen cheated!

Mark: [sung] Fucking cheated!

Joanne: [sings] Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. Five hundred twenty-five thousand journeys to plan. Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes. How do you measure the life of a woman or a man?

Joanne, Collins, Mark, Angel, Mimi, Maureen, Roger, Benjamin Coffin III: All Its time now to sing out, though the story never ends. Lets celebrate remember the year of the life of friends. Remember the love.

Joanne: You got to, you got to remember the love.

Collins, Mark, Angel, Mimi, Maureen, Roger, Benjamin Coffin III: Remember the love.

Joanne: You know that love us a gift from up above.

Collins, Mark, Angel, Mimi, Maureen, Roger, Benjamin Coffin III: Remember the love.

Joanne: Share love, give love, spread love.

Joanne: [sung] Did you swoon when she walked through the door?

Mark: [sung] Every time, so be... cautious.

Joanne: [sung] Did she moon over other boys?

Mark: [sung] More than moon.

Joanne: [sung] I'm getting nauseuous.

Joanne: Didn't give an inch when I gave a mile!

Collins, Mark, Maureen, Roger, Mimi, Joanne: No day but today!

Linda Hanson: If I let Jim die, is that the same thing as killing him?

Joanne: Honey, Jim's already dead.

Joanne: [as Mia bends over, drinking from faucet] Get some clothes on, Mia

Mia: I've got some clothes on

Joanne: You're half naked

Mia: [drinks again] You don't normally care

Joanne: Yeah, well I do now so - get dressed

Mia: Why are you talking different?

Joanne: [to Connor] We should get a move on, yeah?

Tyler: Where you going?

Joanne: Not going nowhere

Tyler: Well, why did you just say, "Shall we get a move on then"?

Joanne: Listen, we're only going for a drive

Connor: You want to come?

Joanne: No!

Tyler: Yeah! Yeah!

Joanne: No, they don't want to come

Tyler: I do

Joanne: We're not going nowhere

Tyler: I don't care. I still want to come

Connor: Off you go, then, and get dressed

Tyler: [exit] Thanks for that

Connor: [to Mia] What about you?

Joanne: No, she won't want to

Connor: We're leaving in 20 minutes

Mia: Yeah. All right. I'd love to come

Mia: I'm leaving then.

Joanne: [dances] This is one of your CDs.

Mia: Yeah. It's Nas.

Joanne: Yeah, it's great.

Mia: You can keep it.

Joanne: Well, go on then. Fuck off.

Api: You coming?

Joanne: I wouldn't ride with you if you were the last man on Earth.

Api: I'm workin' on it.

Joanne: God blinked, and the whole world disappeared.

Joanne: Anything else sir?

Zac Hobson: Ah... more crumpet?

Joanne: Sorry, love crumpet's off.

[She turns and leaves the room, revealing that she has cut the back of her skirt off showing her bare buttocks. Zac begins to get up to persue her but screams as he accidentally dumps his cup of hot coffee on his crotch]

Joanne: If we find anyone alive, what do you think they will be like?

Zac Hobson: We might find all manner of horrors. Politicians... Transvestites...

Zac Hobson: Do you know you're beautiful?

Joanne: Hey, are you calling me stupid?

Zac Hobson: I reckon the "effect" was a cosmic event, like the creation. And nobody's ever explained that properly.One the other hand, perhaps nobody disappeared. Only me. *I* am the "effect".

Joanne: And us?

Zac Hobson: You're not real. You're in my mind.

Joanne: You're God.

Joanne: You know, the interesting thing about friendships is, is that they're not logical. You know how somebody will come up to you and they'll ask you why do you like so and so, and you'll give them all these interesting reasons why you do. But you've actually made them up after you've decided you like them. I recon you decide that you like somebody in the two seconds that you meet them - you stick to it regardless. So, if you like them, you're gonna find good things in all the bad things they do, and if you don't, you're gonna find bad things in all the good things they do, ay?

Joanne: The other thing is, you tend to like people that like you.

Api: And what did you decide about me?

Joanne: [just smiles]

Api: Guess you like me.

Joanne: 38:18 I have a theory. I think peoples' faces are like plasticine malleablise, and not rigid, like bone, as doctors would have us believe. And the shape of the face is determined unconsciously by the brain. So if your brain has a low capacity, you would be both ugly and stupid. But if you've got a reasonably good brain, then it's up to you how to decide to use its energy. You could be reasonably attractive, reasonably intelligent, or you could be smart but ugly, or beautiful but stupid.

[after first seeing the rich kids]

Adrien Williams: Maybe in my next life, huh?

Joanne: That's not a life. It's a J. Crew catalogue.

Chucky: Surprise! Did you miss me, Andy? I sure missed you. I told you. We were gonna be friends to the end. And now, it's time to play... I've got a new game, sport: It's called "Hide the Soul". And guess what? You're it! Ade due damballa. Give me the power, I beg...

[notices Kyle sneaking through the window]

Chucky: . This isn't over you little shit. I'm not gonna spend the rest of my life as a plastic freak. Next time: you're alone, you're mine!

Kyle: [annoyed] Oh, my God.

Andy Barclay: [Kyle removes sock from Andy's mouth] IT'S CHUCKY! LOOK OUT!

Kyle: Shut up, you'll wake Phil and Joanne.

Andy Barclay: Kill him, Kill him.

Kyle: Andy, stop it! Will you?

Phil: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS NOW?

Andy Barclay: It's Chucky! I told you he'd find me. Tried to take over my soul.

Joanne: Andy, calm down.

Kyle: You didn't have to wait up.

Phil: Yeah? You know, Kyle, I don't believe you. You actually tied this... child up so he wouldn't tell on ya? Is that it?

Kyle: Oh, come on, Phil!

Andy Barclay: Chucky did it!

Joanne: That's enough, now.

Phil: Who's Chucky? Well, I've had it!

[grabs Chucky and walks out of the room]

Andy Barclay: [follows Phil] But you gotta kill him!

Joanne: Andy!

Kyle: [Andy unknowingly walks into Kyle's bedroom] Jesus! You ever hear of knocking?

Joanne: Andy, did you find your - what? Are you crazy? Give that to me.

[confiscates Kyle's cigarette]

Kyle: Come on, Joanne.

Joanne: Phil will shoot you if he catches you again. Andy, this is Kyle. She's staying with us too.

Kyle: Charmed.

Joanne: Kyle, what is this? You've been here three weeks. Why haven't you unpacked?

Kyle: What for? I've never spent more than a month in any home.

Joanne: Well, with that attitude I can see why. Now, would you do me a favor and unpack this, then help me get dinner started?

Kyle: Can't. Gotta work tonight.

Joanne: Kyle, that's the third night in a row. I'd really like it if you spent a little time with the family.

Kyle: I need the money. I'm gonna be on my own next year.

Joanne: Yes, well until then you're with us okay? Come on, Andy. I think you're really going to like it here.

Andy Barclay: Bye.

Phil: [throws broken pieces of antique onto table] Do any of you have anything to say about this?

Kyle: I think we should talk to a lawyer first.

Joanne: Kyle that's not funny. That statue was very important to me.

Phil: Kyle?

Kyle: I'm innocent.

Phil: Andy?

Andy Barclay: I didn't do it.

Phil: Okay, you leave me no choice. Until one of you fesses up you're both grounded.

Kyle: But I have a date tonight!

Phil: Sorry.

Phil: For crying out loud, Joanne! The child needs professional help!

Joanne: Oh, stop pretending like you're worried about Andy. You never wanted him in the first place.

Phil: That's not true.

Joanne: So what are you suggesting we do? Send him back?

Phil: Well, you don't have to make it sound so horrible!

Joanne: Do you have any idea how traumatic this could be for him?

Phil: Traumatic? For whom Joanne? For him or for you? If that kid stays here he's gonna tear this family apart!

Joanne: Family? Is this what you call a family? Families just don't give up on their children.

Phil: Joanne! He's NOT our child!

Grace Poole: [watching Andy through a one-way observation window] Naturally, he was badly traumatized by the murders. But he bounced back pretty fast at that age.

Joanne: Poor kid.

Grace Poole: What Andy needs now is a normal family environment. A fresh start and a chance to forget the past. Since you two have been so good with so many children. We were hoping you might foster him until his mother recovers.

Joanne: There's always room for one more.

Phil: [grunts of disapproval]

Joanne: What's that supposed to mean?

Phil: Well, he seems "normal" enough, but how's all this affected him?

Grace Poole: Well, in order to come to terms with something he couldn't possibly understand. He, um, turned it all into a kind of fairytale. He insisted his doll was responsible. He said it was possessed by the soul of Charles Lee Ray.

Phil: Who?

Grace Poole: The Lakeshore Strangler. He murdered a dozen people in this series of ritual voodoo killings.

Phil: Are we even qualified to take care of a boy like this?

Grace Poole: Well I understand your concern Mr. Simpson. But this is just a child's way of coping with a difficult situation. Andy's fine now. He just wants to get on with his life.

Phil: Andy, what's this all about?

Andy Barclay: Chucky followed me to school. He tried to get me again, so I ran home.

Phil: Do you have any idea what he's talking about?

Joanne: His teacher called. Said she was keeping him after school for detention. She said he wrote an obscenity on his paper.

Andy Barclay: Chucky did it.

Phil: All right, Andy. Now this is going to stop. I will not allow this foolishness in my home. Do you hear me? Now open the door.

Joanne: Phil.

Phil: Joanne please. Open the door. Open it!

[Andy looks back up at him]

Phil: OPEN IT!

[opens door]

Phil: Now I want you to look down there and tell me what you see.

Andy Barclay: It's Chucky but he...

Phil: His NAME is Tommy. And he's been there since last night, hasn't he?

[Andy doesn't answer]

Phil: Hasn't he?

[moves Andy aside and closes door]

Phil: Make yourself comfortable Andy.

Andy Barclay: Thanks.

Phil: I've got to go back to the office, later this afternoon.

Joanne: I thought you finished everything there.

Phil: Yeah, but I...

[Andy continues to look around before he kneels down and touches an antique statue]

Phil: Uh, uh, uh. First rule, don't touch the old stuff.

Andy Barclay: Sorry.

Phil: Well, that's okay. No foul. It's just that we collect this stuff. And a lot of it's kind of fragile.

Joanne: You like it?

Andy Barclay: Mmm-hmm.

Joanne: It's been in my family for three generations. You see, my grandmother gave it to my mother, and my mother gave it to me.

Andy Barclay: And who're you gonna give it to?

Joanne: [hesitates before handing Andy his suitcase] Why don't you take this upstairs and explore? I'll be up there in a minute.

Andy Barclay: Okay.

Joanne: [after Andy leaves] You like him?

Phil: Oh, I'll get used to him.

Joanne: This is your room, right here.

[opens door]

Joanne: I made those curtains just for you. I bet blue is your favorite color. Take a look around. I'll start to unpack.

Andy Barclay: [takes a model toy train out of a toy chest] Wow!

Joanne: [laughs] I thought you might like those. Um, there's more in the closet. Before dinner, we'll go explore the backyard. And later, I'll read you some stories. Would you like that? There's lots of kids your age in the neighborhood Andy. I'm sure you're gonna make all sorts of new friends.

Andy Barclay: [pulls down a skateboard off the top shelf of his closet and out falls Tommy] Aah!

[runs out of room into Phil]

Phil: Hey, hey, hey. Andy, rule number two, no running in the house. It's only a doll. Andy are you listening to me?

Joanne: Oh Andy I'm so sorry I didn't realize that was in there. We've got so many children in here, it's hard to keep track of things. Don't worry I'll get rid of it.

Tommy: Hi, I'm Tommy. And I'm your friend to the end. Hidey ho. Ha ha ha.

Joanne: Why don't you get settled in. And then we'll have some dinner.

Phil: Here it is.

Joanne: What do you think?

Andy Barclay: We've never lived in a house before. Just apartments.

Phil: Well, you know what they say, a house just isn't a home without children.

Kyle: Come on, Andy. We're late.

Joanne: Andy! Don't forget your lunch, egg salad.

Kyle: Ooh, yum. Now whatever you do don't act nervous okay. They'll smell a new kid a mile off. Just act where you belong. What are you looking for?

Andy Barclay: Nothing.

Kyle: Is it CHUCKY coming to get you? Andy, how did you manage to tie yourself up like that last night?

Andy Barclay: I already told you.

Kyle: Get real.

Andy Barclay: Your just like everyone else. You don't believe me either.

Kyle: Hey, Adam.

Adam: Kyle, why'd you leave so early last night? You missed all the fun.

Kyle: Story of my life.

Joanne: Great! What do we do now?

Rob: Let's call Oprah. Hell, I don't know.

Joanne: Rob, I can fix it!

Rob: Yeah, well, I can fix it better.

Joanne: C'mere Jesus, I got something ta show ya!

Joanne: [Mae West impression] C'mere, Jesus, I've gotta somethin' to show ya!

Lynne: Master...

[Lynne climbs down from a stage and rushes to Jesus. Gilmer, Robin, Joanne, Jeffrey, Merrell, Jerry and Katie follow]

Lynne: Master! Blessed are the poor in Spirit...

Jesus: For theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.

Gilmer: Blessed are they who mourn...

Jesus: For they shall be comforted.

Robin: Blessed are the meek...

Jesus: For they shall inherit the Earth.

Joanne: Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for justice...

Jesus: For the shall be filled.

Jeffrey: Blessed are the merciful...

Jesus: For they shall have mercy.

Merrell: Blessed are the pure in heart...

Jesus: For they shall see God.

Jerry: Blessed are the peace-makers...

Jesus: For they shall be called the children of God.

Katie: Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake...

Jesus: For theirs is the Kingdom of *heaven*!

[the others applaud]

Judas: [shouting from the distant stage] Blessed are ye... When men shall persecute you and revile you... and say all manner of evil against you...

[pauses then calms down]

Judas: falsely.

Jesus: What if your brother sues you? You better settle with him quickly,

[Joanne tries to shake hands with Merrill, who spins oher over to Gilmer]

Jesus: otherwise he'll hand you over to the judge.

Gilmer: Guilty!

[She spins Joanne over to Jerry]

Jesus: And the judge to the constable.

Jesus: [Jerry bops her on the head]

Jesus: And you'll land in jail!

[Joanne is twirled into "jail"]

Joanne: [squeaks] Let me out of here!

Jesus: And I tell you, you'll not get out of there until you've paid the last penny.