Lillian Quotes in Three Texas Steers (1939)

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Lillian Quotes:

  • Postman: Are you Nancy Evans?

    Nancy Evans: Yes.

    Postman: You seem kinda young to be boss of a circus.

    Nancy Evans: I'll soon get over that.

    Lillian: She's thinking of growing a beard to give her dignity.

  • [after Hercules played a card, Willie the Gorilla grabbed it and put it back in Hercules' hand]

    Lillian: Hey! What are you doin' gangin' up on me? One baboon at a time!

    Hercules, the Midget: Can't a guy change his mind, Lil?

    Lillian: Yeah, providin' he's got a mind to start with. Besides I ain't playin' cards with a man who has a moth-eaten monkey for partner.

  • [to the gorilla climbing in a tree]

    Lillian: Get out of there, you upholstered nitwit!

  • Tony: Hey, gang, take a look at your new home!

    Hercules, the Midget: Ain't it somethin'!

    Lillian: Yeah, so quiet and peaceful. I wonder how long it takes to learn how to milk a chicken.

  • Lillian: What's your job around here?

    Stony Brooke: I'm a cowhand, ma'am. I chase cows.

    Lillian: If I could only learn to moo.

  • [Hercules waives an enormous gun at the Mesquiteers]

    Lillian: Don't pull the trigger - you'll wind up in South Dakota!

    Stony Brooke: Give us a break, Desperate Desmond.

  • Lillian: You remember my cousin, Rita.

    Annie: Rita!

    Rita: [hugs Annie] Annie, I haven't seen you since you graduated high school.

    Lillian: She has three kids now.

    Rita: Three boys.

    Lillian: They're so cute.

    Rita: They are cute, but when they reach that age, ugh. Disgusting. They smell, they're sticky, they say things that are horrible, and there is semen all over everything. Disgusting. I cracked a BLANKET in half. Do you get where I'm going with this?

    Annie: I do, yeah.

    Rita: [gesturing] I cracked it in HALF.

  • Lillian: Why can't you be happy for me and then go home and talk about me behind my back like a normal person?

  • Annie: Are you fucking kidding me?

    Annie's Mom: Annie?

    Annie: No, mom. Mother fucking Paris? I told you about Paris, Helen! I told you about this whole idea!

    Lillian: Annie, calm down...

    Annie: No, Lillian! What are you gonna go, you're gonna go to Paris with Helen now? What are you gonna, you guys gonna ride around on bikes with berets and fucking baguettes in the basket on the front of your bikes? Oh how romantic! What woman gives another woman a trip to Paris? Am I right? Lesbian! We're all thinking it, aren't we?

    Becca: [quickly] I'm not.

    Megan: I was.

    Annie: Okay! Yes, we're all thinking it, right?

    Annie's Mom: Annie...

    Annie: Lillian, this is not the you that I know! The you that I know would have walked in here and rolled your eyes and would have thought that this was completely over the top, ridiculous, and stupid! Look at this shower! Look at that *fucking* cookie! Did you really think that this group of women was gonna finish that cookie? Really, and you know that reminds me actually; I never got a chance to try that *fucking* cookie!

    [storms off]

  • Lillian: [Has diarrhea from food poisoning and is trying to get to a bathroom] It's happening! It happened.

  • Lillian: This is such a stone-cold pack of weirdos, and I am so proud!

  • Lillian: You told me not to bleach my butthole, and I did it anyway, and now I love my new bleached butthole!

  • Lillian: I hope you never have to know what it's like to love someone and then find out you're not enough. I was trying to protect you from ever feeling that.

  • Lillian: I keep trying to remind myself that when Jesus closes a door he opens a window.

    Mary: Yeah, so we have something to jump out of.

  • Mary: Why do you think Dean's parents sent him away so fast?

    Lillian: They probably didn't think they could handle it by themselves.

    Mary: What do you mean?

    Lillian: Well, having a child is like owning a car. I can change the oil and fill the gas tank and I can take it to a car wash, but if the carburetor broke, I wouldn't know what to do.

    Mary: So, what? You'd just send me away?

    Lillian: Oh, Mary, please don't tell me you're a lesbian!

    Mary: Mom...

    Lillian: Do I need to worry about you? No, I don't have to worry about you. Do I?

    Mary: [voice-over] My mom just compared me to a car, so me having a baby is definitely something not to tell her right now.

  • Lillian: Oh Dot, put out once in a while, your face won't be so tight.

  • Ann Carrington: What's that sound?

    Lillian: It's the waves. Angry waves. Day after day, night after night, they beat with savage fury against the black rocks below. For twenty years they've been calling... calling... calling to someone who never answers.

    Gail Richards: Just like the Pot of Gold program.

  • Lillian: The Chinese Room will be yours, Miss Richards.

    Gail Richards: Oh, you're a doll.

    Gail Richards: [to Ann] Well, this is just dandy. I travel seven thousand miles just to get away from Chinamen, and here I am with everything but a bowl of rice.

  • Gail Richards: I'm starved. You forgot we didn't have any dinner.

    Lillian: Rama will bring you a tray.

    Gail Richards: Oh, any little thing will do. Lobster salad and beer. But, nothing heavy!

  • Lillian: Good night, Miss Richards.

    Gail Richards: Good night.

    Lillian: I hope you rest in peace.

    Gail Richards: Thank you.

    [to Ann]

    Gail Richards: Isn't that what they write on tombstones?

  • Bob: What's going on here? Who's that guy in the black coat? What happened to her? Who are you?

    Lillian: I'm the housekeeper!

    Bob: Fine way to keep house. Women screaming. Bogeymen jumping out of windows. If I had a house like this, I wouldn't want to keep it.

  • Lillian: There are women who reach a perfect time of life, when the face will never again be as good, the body never as graceful or powerful. It had happened that year to Julia.

  • Jami: Grandma, do you remember anything about the murders?

    Lillian: Oh dear God, barely. Just what I heard later. You know your great grandpa and your great grandma lived in this house when it happened. I remember my mama once said ti was like the town was being tested and no one knew why, even the grown ups were scared. He was the boogeyman they said, can't catch the boogeyman, can't kill the boogeyman, his father's the devil and his mother's a whore. Know before that summer, everybody would leave their doors unlocked, and after the summer, you saw a stranger, you wouldn't wave hello, you'd just cross the street.

    Jami: What about when they made the movie?

    Lillian: What about it?

    Jami: Were people still afraid?

    Lillian: Of the Phantom? No that faded, no one knew exactly who he was or what he did, just that he lived in this town ad attacked some teenagers on lover's lane. And then the movie brought it all back.

  • Nick: He said he'd shoot me if I got any closer.

    Lillian: Well that's his job.

  • Lillian: I guess I'm just not a nice person.

  • Harlan: I'm converting to a Catholic.

    Lillian: And I'm converting to a blonde.

Browse more character quotes from Three Texas Steers (1939)

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