Gabriel Cash Quotes in Tango & Cash (1989)

Gabriel Cash: You wanna cut my throat, go ahead. You wanna cut my fuckin' head off and use it for a fuckin' basketball? You can *bowl* with the motherfucker for all I care! Just don't let HIM do it! I don't wanna get killed by this limey, immigrant JERKOFF! I wanna get killed by an AMERICAN jerkoff!

Requin: [English accent] You fucking wanker!

Gabriel Cash: Lucky for me this place is soundproof. That way nobody gets to hear me beating the truth out of you.

Gabriel Cash: You're getting a little radical here, don't you think?

Ray Tango: What's radical?

Gabriel Cash: Blowing a man's head off with a fucking hand grenade is a touch much, don't you think?

Ray Tango: You got your way, I got mine. You know, I'm kind of glad you didn't want to talk, Requin...

Gabriel Cash: You know what? I'll just shoot him in the goddamn leg, he'll talk!

Ray Tango: I don't want the leg, I want the whole package!

Gabriel Cash: Maybe he doesn't know anything, okay?

Ray Tango: I don't really care!

Gabriel Cash: I don't know about you, but I have an aversion to getting F.U.B.A.R...

Ray Tango: What's F.U.B.A.R.?

Gabriel Cash: Fucked-Up Beyond All Recognition.

Assistant Warden Matt Sokowski: What's widdya friend?

Gabriel Cash: He's a little upset. He misses his wardrobe.

[then as they leave the room]

Ray Tango: I DO miss my wardrobe.

Gabriel Cash: You know, it's a free country, Tango.

Ray Tango: Yeah.

Gabriel Cash: And people are free to do whatever they want.

Ray Tango: So?

Gabriel Cash: Well, your sister is very, very free.

Ray Tango: I'm going to kill you.

[Tango grabs a hefty submachine gun and hands Cash a pistol]

Ray Tango: Here.

Gabriel Cash: Aw, c'mon, how come yours is bigger than mine?

Ray Tango: Genetics, peewee.

[after Requin breaks down and confesses]

Gabriel Cash: You know, Potato Head, you just fell for the oldest routine in the book: bad cop...

Ray Tango: Worse cop!

Gabriel Cash: You don't know anything about electricity, do you?

Ray Tango: No.

Gabriel Cash: As long as you're only touching one wire and you're not touching the ground, you don't get electrocuted.

[Thinks about it for a moment]

Gabriel Cash: Um, right?

Ray Tango: I don't know.

Gabriel Cash: I don't either.

Ray Tango: When this is over, we have to pay Jabba the Hutt here a visit.

Gabriel Cash: I'll bring the chainsaw.

Ray Tango: I'll bring the beer.

Ray Tango: Do you think he's telling the truth?

Gabriel Cash: I don't know. But it's not raining and he's standing in a puddle.

Ray Tango: Disgusting.

Ray Tango: What are you doing? What are you doing?

Gabriel Cash: Relax. Soap. And don't flatter yourself... Peewee.

Owen: Your Honor, the defendants wish to change their plea.

[Crowd is stunned. Judge McCormick bangs his gavel]

Judge McCormick: Order! Very well, Counselor. What is the plea?

Ray Tango: Your Honor, may I approach the bench, please?

Judge McCormick: Proceed, Mr. Tango.

Ray Tango: [Gets up, looks at Owen] It's okay.

[Tango approaches the bench]

Ray Tango: Your Honor, I have been a policeman for 12 years, and I think it's the best organization in the country. At times, I've been accused of being too aggressive at taking criminals off the streets. Well, if that's a sin, then I guess I'm guilty. All the cops I've worked with are good cops. They are... doing a tough job. And I only hope that the outcome of this trial is such, that the whole department is not judged by what has transpired here. Thank you.

[Tango returns to his seat]

Judge McCormick: Do you have anything to add, Mr. Cash?

Gabriel Cash: [Nods] Yeah.

Ray Tango: [Grabs Cash's arm] No!

Gabriel Cash: Yeah.

Ray Tango: No-no.

Gabriel Cash: Yeah.

Ray Tango: No.

[Cash gets up]

Gabriel Cash: Mr. Tango has, uh, spoken very eloquently. I wish I could be as forgiving. But I can't, because... this whole thing... fucking sucks! I mean, this is the biggest pile of shit I've ever...

[Crowd applauses]

Judge McCormick: Order! Order!

Gabriel Cash: When this is over, remind me to rip Jumbo there's tongue out.

Ray Tango: With a tow truck.

Gabriel Cash: This has got to be a mistake. What do you think?

Ray Tango: I think my underwear is riding into my throat.

[Looking at a picture of Ray Tango in the paper]

Gabriel Cash: Well, if it isn't Armani with a badge.

Ray Tango: Pleasure doing time with ya.

Gabriel Cash: Yeah, I'll never forget that time in the shower.

[walking to the showers in prison naked]

Gabriel Cash: Nice to see your underwear problem is solved.

Ray Tango: I noticed. And Cash? You can stop holding your stomach.

Interpreter: Detective Cash assaulted me. He put a chair on my chest and sat on it.

Gabriel Cash: [Tango looks at Cash, surprised] I couldn't find a piano.

[Requin is holding Cash at gunpoint, when Tango appears behind him]

Ray Tango: [English accent] Shame, shame! Don't you know ponytails are out this season? How you doin', Cash?

Gabriel Cash: [disarms Requin] Oh, things are just getting better by the second.

Ray Tango: There's a party up on the roof.

Gabriel Cash: Can I invite Mr. Potato Head here?

Ray Tango: Sure! Wouldn't be a party without Potato Head.

Ray Tango: Your Honor, I have been a policeman for 12 years and I think it's the best organization in the country. At times I've been accused of being too aggressive at taking criminals off the street. Well, if that's a sin, I guess I'm guilty. All the cops I've worked with are good cops.

[to fellow officers]

Ray Tango: You are. Doing a tough job. And I only hope that the outcome of this trial is such that the whole department is not judged by what has transpired here. Thank you.

Judge McCormick: Do you have anything to add Mr. Cash?

Gabriel Cash: [snickers] Yeah.

Ray Tango: No.

Gabriel Cash: Oh, yeah.

Ray Tango: No no.

Gabriel Cash: Yeah.

Ray Tango: No.

Gabriel Cash: [stands up to address the judge] Mr. Tango has spoken very eloquently and I wish I could be as forgiving. But I can't because this whole thing... FUCKING SUCKS.

Car owner: I believe in Perestroijka.

Gabriel Cash: Welcome to America.

Ray Tango: Why just use your Plan A?

Gabriel Cash: Because it's a hell of a lot better than your Plan B, which you don't even have.

Owen: [unable to see the chaos outside the car] Cash what was that noise?

Gabriel Cash: Don't worry Owen, just a couple speed bumps.

[dangling Requin off a roof by his legs]

Gabriel Cash: Come on, you meat puppet! Who pulls your strings?

Requin: Piss off! Bollocks to Plan A! I like this! The view's great up here! Heh, heh!

Gabriel Cash: What'd he say?

Ray Tango: Plan "A"'s a loser.

Gabriel Cash: Hold on. Give me a name, Death-Breath, or you're going back to fucking England in a fucking baggie!

Requin: Up yours, arsehole! You ain't worth a toss! Go on, drop me! Do it!

Gabriel Cash: Plan "A" is definitely a loser.

Gabriel Cash: You want my vote for the Psycho Hall of Fame, asshole? You got it!

Gabriel Cash: I've got good news and bad news.

Ray Tango: What's the bad news?

Gabriel Cash: We're almost out of gas.

Ray Tango: What's the good news?

Gabriel Cash: We're ALMOST out of gas.

Gabriel Cash: I don't think there's a golf course.

Gabriel Cash: This is the tape that's gonna clear our names, courtesy of our friend Jumbo the Forgerer. What do you got?

Ray Tango: I got a quarter of four.

[Conan arrives to the laundry full of vengeful prisoners]

Ray Tango: Oh shit, it's Conan.

Gabriel Cash: What?

Ray Tango: It's Conan.

Gabriel Cash: We're gonna get F.U.B.A.R now.

Ray Tango: What the hell is F.U.B.A.R?

Gabriel Cash: You'll see.

Face: Real bad ass cops. You don't look so tough now, do you? DO YOU, YOU FUCK?

Ray Tango: [to Cash] He must mean you.

Face: Out on the streets, this pig and his cop friends, broke my ribs, my leg and my jaw.

[tsks at Tango]

Gabriel Cash: You broke that jaw?

Ray Tango: He deserved it.

Gabriel Cash: We're gonna get FUBAR now.

Ray Tango: What the hell is FUBAR?

Gabriel Cash: You'll see.

Gabriel Cash: No, no, wait! I got it! It's Lopez!