Falstaff Quotes in Henry V (1989)

Falstaff: [stroking his vast gut] Do I not shrink? Do I not dwindle? My skin hangs upon me like an old woman's loose gown.

Falstaff: My King! My Jove! I speak to thee my heart!

Prince Hal: I know thee not, old man; fall to thy prayers!/ How ill white hairs become a fool and jester!

Falstaff: There lives not three good men unhanged in England, and one of them is fat and grows old.

Falstaff: We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Robert Shallow.

[first lines]

Shallow: Jesus, the days that we have seen! Do you remember since we lay all night in the windmill in St. George's field?

Falstaff: No more of that, Master Shallow.

Shallow: It was a merry night!

Falstaff: What time of day is it, lad?

Prince Hal: What the devil hast thou to do with the time of the day? Unless hours were cups of sack, clocks the tongues of bawds, dials the signs of leaping-houses and the blessed sun himself a fair hot wench in flame-coloured taffeta, I see no reason why thou shouldst be so superfluous to demand the time of the day.

Falstaff: This house is turned - bawdy house.

Mistress Quickly: Bawdy house?

Falstaff: They pick pockets!

Mistress Quickly: We cannot lodge and board a dozen or fourteen gentlewomen who live honestly by the prick of their needles; but, it is thought we keep a bawdy house.

Falstaff: Now I'm, a man should speak truly, a little better than one of the wicked. I was as virtuously given as a gentleman need to be; virtuous enough; swore little; diced not above seven times a week; went to a bawdy-house not above once in a quarter-of an hour. Villanous company hath been the spoil of me. If I have not forgotten what the inside of a church is made of, call me a peppercorn, a brewer's horse. Well, I'll repent.

Falstaff: Good faith, this same sober-blooded boy doth not love me; nor a man cannot make him laugh. But that's no marvel, he drinks no wine! There's never any of these demure boys come to any proof; for thin drink doth so over-cool their blood, that they're generally fools and cowards; which some of us should be too, but for inflammation.

Falstaff: A good sherris sack hath a two-fold operation in it. It ascends me into the brain and dries me there all the foolish, dull and curdy vapors which environ it; makes it apprehensive, quick, forgetive, full of nimble fiery and delectable shapes, which, delivered o'er to the voice, the tongue, which is the birth, becomes excellent wit. The second property of your excellent sherris is, the warming of the blood. The sherris warms it and makes it course from the inwards to the parts extreme.

Falstaff: If I had a thousand sons, the first humane principle I would teach them would be this: to forswear thin potations and to addict themselves - to sack.

Doll Tearsheet: Come, let me wipe thy face. Come on, you whoreson chops. Ah, rogue, I' faith, I love thee.

Falstaff: I will toss the rogue in a blanket.

Doll Tearsheet: Do, an thou darest for thy heart. An thou dost, I'll canvass thee between a pair of sheets.

Falstaff: Come! Sing me a bawdy song to make me merry.

Falstaff: Doll, forget me, when I'm gone.

Doll Tearsheet: You'll start me weeping if you say so.

Falstaff: Kiss me, Doll.

Shallow: Ha, cousin Silence, that thou hadst seen that that this knight and I have seen! Ha, Sir John, said I well?

Falstaff: We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Robert Shallow.

Shallow: That we have, that we have, that we have; in faith, Sir John, we have! Jesu, Jesu, the mad days that I have seen! And to think how many of my old acquaintance are dead.

Mr. Silence: We shall all follow...

Shallow: Certain, 'tis certain. Death, as the Psalmist saith, is certain to all. All shall die.

Shallow: Jesus, the days that I have seen.

Falstaff: Lord, Lord, how subject we old men are to this vice of lying. This same starved justice hath done nothing but prate to me of the wildness of his youth and every third word a lie.