Duncan McDermott Quotes in Staying Together (1989)

Duncan McDermott: Kit, I hate to bring it up with this sumptuous repast, but it looks as if you're drinking a glass of puke.

Kit McDermott: You'd know.

Jake McDermott: [handing over $20 per Duncan's request] Will this be enough?

Duncan McDermott: You are a humanitarian, a benevolent presence in this age of frugality. If all fathers were such good examples to their sons, this world would be...

[Jake covers Duncan's mouth]

Duncan McDermott: [entering restaurant bathroom and pulling down his pants] Hurry, Lois, we only got a couple minutes.

Lois Cook: What? What're you doing?

Duncan McDermott: Oh, Lois, don't pull the virgin bit again.

Lois Cook: Speak for yourself, baby boy.

Duncan McDermott: Lois, I'm hurting. I am BURNING. I have this erection. It is so big it's like one of those Thanksgiving Day balloons. If I don't do something about it soon - BANG! - I'll be left without a dick for the rest of my life! I'm only seventeen!

Lois Cook: You're jail bait.

Lois Cook: You'd poop your pants if I ever said yes.

Duncan McDermott: [laughing] You know, you're right. I'd better get back to work.

Duncan McDermott: The sexual demands of this job are too much.

Kit McDermott: How do I look?

Duncan McDermott: Like shit. Go get her.

Duncan McDermott: Drinking? Taking dope? Harassing innocent people? I am SHOCKED at your behavior. And to think you wanted me, an impressionable youth...

Kit McDermott: Shut up.

Duncan McDermott: Well, thank heavens I crawled up with a good book instead.

Duncan McDermott: The boy who wouldn't speak to his father is a good bit. You do it really well, but the prodigal son is good, too. Check it out. I can't speak for the others, but I wouldn't mind seeing your stupid face once in a while.

Duncan McDermott: Good morning, gentlemen. Enclosed you will find a complete accounting of every penny you've lent me over the years. You will ALSO find legal tender in payment of the aforesaid debts, and interest at current bank rates. Brian, your generosity has only been exceeded by your patience. Kit, m' main man, I hope I didn't cause you any undue financial hardship. Gentlemen, good day.

Brian McDermott: [to Kit] Baby brother here is applying for college.

Duncan McDermott: Yeah, well, somebody better amount to something in this family. I mean, my god, you push a broom, you sling cement, our dear mother works in a saloon - somebody has got to lift the McDurmott family name out of the mud.

Duncan McDermott: Ward, I'm a little worried about the Beaver.

Duncan McDermott: You know, when you think about it...

Kit McDermott: Uh-oh, Duncan's thinking.

Duncan McDermott: ..."fuck you" isn't such a bad thing to say to somebody. I mean, it's kind of sweet. It's like saying, "I love you," only it's more... hip.

Brian McDermott: Duncan, don't you ever shut up?

Duncan McDermott: No, this is important. This is serious. I mean, half of the world is going around saying something to the other half and they don't even know it's a compliment. I mean, my God, this is a linguistic breakthrough!

Kit McDermott: Danger. Philosopher crossing over here.

Duncan McDermott: What a night! They'll talk about this for years to come. It'll change the way the world thinks, like the theory of relativity or... or the discovery of gravity. "Fuck you" is GOOD! Brian! Fuck you! Kit! Fuck you, too!

Kit McDermott: Yeah, yeah. Eloquently put, anyway, right?

Brian McDermott: Yes, indeed.