Dr. Butz Quotes in Critical Care (1997)

Dr. Butz: When those lawyers start crawling all over you, that's when you know you're a doctor.

Dr. Werner Ernst: If he's going to die, why should we proceed?

Dr. Butz: Where have you been all your life? It's called revenue!

Dr. Butz: When I drink I only perform mundane tasks like, um, well, talking to you, for example.

Dr. Butz: It's these HMOs that have confused the issue. If the patient were part of an HMO then I could understand your dilemma. With those babies we get paid *not* to perform medical procedures. It's a little like when the government pays the farmers not to grow crops. But with insurance we get paid *to* perform medical procedures.

Dr. Werner Ernst: My question is, if you were comatose would you want to be kept a live for months by machines.

Dr. Butz: Hell no! When I go, I don't want to be tortured in some bed. I have this planned out, Warner. I'm gonna be sitting on my back porch, I'm gonna have a Cuban cigar in one hand, and a big glass 'o scotch in the other, and a belly full of barbecued ribs with a ton of sauce. That's why I don't have insurance.

Lucille: But Dr. Miller said...

Dr. Butz: Tell doctor Miller that his head is full of horse shit. And if he disagrees, slip him in the MRI machine and look for yourself.

[last lines]

Dr. Butz: [shouting from his car] Ernst! Stay away from him! You wanna get sued again? Damn it, make sure he's got insurance! Better ask him for proof of insurance! Haven't you learned anything from me?

Mike: Are you a doctor?

Dr. Werner Ernst: Yeah, I'm a doctor.