Dedee Quotes in The Opposite of Sex (1998)

Dedee: I'd like a Long Island iced tea, please.

Bill Truitt: Is that a good idea, for the baby?

Dedee: Oh, please. This baby owes its life to Long Island iced teas, if you know what I mean.

Dedee: [as Dedee is walking away from Bill's, looking for a ride and stopping under a tree, she narrates:] Seems like everybody's having sex but me. Good for them. It's not that I'm against sex. I mean, it was clever of God or evolution or whatever to hook the survival of the species to it because we're gonna screw around no what. It was a smarter thing to pick than say... the instinct to share your toys or return phone calls. We'd have died out like eons ago. But on the minus side, god... all the *attachment* that goes with it. It's like this net. Sex always ends in kids or disease, or like, you know, relationships. That's exactly what I don't want. I want the opposite of all that. Because it's not worth it, not really, is it? When you think about it?

Dedee: [cut to montage of memories of heart-warming relationship scenes with Tom, Bill, and Lucia together, then with other cast characters, and ending with one of Dedee and Randy together back in Louisiana. Back to Dedee smoking with narration continuing:] OK, so maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's not all shit. Maybe...

Dedee: God damn it.

Dedee: [Frustrated, she sits down on street curb, smoking and thinking. She continues narrating:] I thought the whole idea was I know what happens next. I'll tell you one thing... I'm not gonna go back to Bill's house and be this big changed person for you. I told you right off I don't grow a heart of gold. And if I do, which is, like, *so unlikely*... give me a break and don't make me do it in front of you. Come on, guys, go, okay?

Dedee: [looking at the camera angrily and violently shooing us away with her left hand] GO!

Dedee: [fade to black and narration continues:] I'll give you this much, though... I never was the same again after that summer.

[credits roll]

Dedee: If you think I'm just plucky and scrappy and all I need is love, you're in over your heads. I don't have a heart of gold and I *don't* grow one later, OK? But relax. There's other people a lot nicer coming up - we call them "losers."

[Dedee in labor]

Lucia: Are you having contractions?

Dedee: No, this is my sleepy face! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK?

Dedee: My mother was the kind of mother who always said she was her daughter's best friend. Whenever she did, I thought, "Great! Not only do I have a shitty mother, but my best friend's a loser bitch!"

[Why sex is the opposite of what she wants]

Dedee: Sex always ends in kids or disease or like, you know, relationships.

Dedee: If there have to be gay people, at least it's nice there's enough of them to go around.

[Trying to calm Randy down]

Dedee: Randy, be Christlike!

[about marrying Matt]

Dedee: I just don't think it's something we should rush into.

Lucia: Oh, no, no. But bring another human life onto the planet - that's whim time.

Randy: I'm just askin' that you stand by your man, like I'm standin' next to you! You know, a lot of guys, man, they woulda said that, "Shucks, man, she took up with them homosexuals. You know, she turned her back on righteousness."

Dedee: Oh, yeah, but blowing you in the backseat of your car every day after band, that was a stairway to heaven, right?

Dedee: God. How does a woman get so bitter?

Lucia: Observation.

Dedee: This part where I take the gun is like, duh, important.

Dedee: He was like a blind person you know, they can't see but they hear real well. Matt couldn't think at all, but he looked great.

Bill Truitt: You're gonna have a baby.

Dedee: Yeah, lucky me!

Dedee: [discussing Tom's death from AIDS] Did he give it to Bill?

Lucia: That is none of your business.

Dedee: Actually it is. I could drink from the wrong cup or something by mistake.

Lucia: God, what do they teach you in Louisiana?