Coogan Quotes in Coogan's Bluff (1968)

[about her probation cases]

Julie: I only handle young, single women.

Coogan: [moving closer] Yeah. Me too.

[Coogan is taking a bath, a busty woman is washing him, Coogan throws the soap, aiming for her cleavage, and misses]

Millie, Coogan's Girlfriend: Need a bigger target?

Coogan: There ain't any in this county.

Taxi driver: That's $2.95, including the luggage.

Coogan: Tell me, how may stores are there named Bloomingdales in this town?

Taxi driver: One, why?

Coogan: We passed it twice.

Taxi driver: It's still $2.95, including the luggage.

Coogan: Yeah, well there's $3.00, including the tip.

Golden Hotel Room Clerk: Room 304. That'll be $7 in advance.

Coogan: The sign says $5.

Golden Hotel Room Clerk: $7 without luggage.

[Coogan places briefcase on desk]

Golden Hotel Room Clerk: That ain't luggage.

Coogan: There's a cab driver in this town that'll give you an argument.

Mrs. Ellen Ringerman: [angry] Hey, wait a minute. You think you can come in here and write down a name and put on that fancy hat and just go? You know what you are?

Coogan: Fancy.

Coogan: You learn about a person when you hunt 'em.

Det. Lt. McElroy, NYPD: Like what?

Coogan: Like that he's not a fool, that's what.

Sgt. Wallace: Then how in the hell did you collar him?

Coogan: [while holding a broken bottle in Wonderful Digby's face] All right now, I don't like violence, Mr. Wonderful whatever your name is. You better drop that blade, or you won't believe what happens next, even while it's happening.

Coogan: Put your pants on, Chief!

Mrs. Ellen Ringerman: [to Coogan, who's looking for her son] I don't usually make no deals with cops.

Coogan: Be smart if you did...

Mrs. Ellen Ringerman: Smart? Smartness is one thing, motherhood's another

Julie: Let me consult my files. I only handle young single girls.

Coogan: Yeah... me too!

Coogan: [panting] I'm making a citizen's arrest.

Jackson: [to priest] Have you molested children?

Coogan: I have.

Jackson: What, like boys or girls?

Coogan: Does it matter to you?

Jackson: No.

Coogan: Me neither.

[scoffs]