Carol Connelly Quotes in As Good as It Gets (1997)

Melvin Udall: I've got a really great compliment for you, and it's true.

Carol Connelly: I'm so afraid you're about to say something awful.

Melvin Udall: Don't be pessimistic, it's not your style. Okay, here I go: Clearly, a mistake. I've got this, what - ailment? My doctor, a shrink that I used to go to all the time, he says that in fifty or sixty percent of the cases, a pill really helps. I *hate* pills, very dangerous thing, pills. Hate. I'm using the word "hate" here, about pills. Hate. My compliment is, that night when you came over and told me that you would never... all right, well, you were there, you know what you said. Well, my compliment to you is, the next morning, I started taking the pills.

Carol Connelly: I don't quite get how that's a compliment for me.

Melvin Udall: You make me want to be a better man.

Carol Connelly: ...That's maybe the best compliment of my life.

Melvin Udall: Well, maybe I overshot a little, because I was aiming at just enough to keep you from walking out.

Carol Connelly: OK, we all have these terrible stories to get over, and you-...

Melvin Udall: It's not true. Some of us have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that's their story. Good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pissed that so many others had it good.

Carol Connelly: When you first entered the restaurant, I thought you were handsome... and then, of course, you spoke.

Carol Connelly: Why can't I have a normal boyfriend? Just a regular boyfriend, one that doesn't go nuts on me!

Beverly Connelly: Everybody wants that, dear. It doesn't exist.

Melvin Udall: Judging from your eyes, I'd say you were fifty.

Carol Connelly: Judging from your eyes, I'd say you were kind, so so much for eyes.

Carol Connelly: Do you want to dance?

Melvin Udall: I've been thinking about that for a while.

Carol Connelly: [standing up] Well?

Melvin Udall: No.

Carol Connelly: To hell with sex! It was better than sex! We held each other! What I needed, he gave me great.

Carol Connelly: Fucking H.M.O. bastard pieces of shit!

Beverly Connelly: Carol!

Carol Connelly: Sorry.

Dr. Martin Bettes: It's okay. Actually, I think that's their technical name.

Carol Connelly: [to Dr. Bettes, Spencer's wonderful new doctor] Can we get you anything else? Water, coffee, couple of female slaves?

Simon Bishop: [Seeing Carol undressed, in only a towel, on the edge of the bathtub] Hold it.

[Turns on light, startling Carol]

Simon Bishop: I have to draw you.

Carol Connelly: Huh?

Simon Bishop: I have to draw you.

Carol Connelly: No, no no, absolutely not. I'm a lot more shy than people think. I give off the wrong impression.

Simon Bishop: I have to. I haven't sketched anything in weeks.

Carol Connelly: Stop staring. Do a vase.

Simon Bishop: But you're beautiful, Carol. Your skin, your long neck, the back, the line of you. You're why cavemen chiseled on walls.

Carol Connelly: [Smiles, and laughs slightly] All right, cut me a break.

[as Simon draws, she smiles, and lowers her towel, giving him a better view]

Carol Connelly: [after a brief cutaway to a different scene, returning to this one; now Carol is laying on a couch, nude, laughing, as Simon draws] I'm sorry, I don't care how you put this, we're being naughty here, pal.

Simon Bishop: No, no, this is, this is great.This is so great. I swear to God, my hand won't even keep up. Hold it. Hold it.

Carol Connelly: But I was just turning.

Simon Bishop: But then hold that. Hold any of them.

[the camera shows a pile of sketches that Simon has made of Carol]

Carol Connelly: OK, this?

Simon Bishop: It doesn't matter. My hand's not even bothering me. I can't - I just can't get the angle with this cast.

[Starts breaking the plaster cast off of his hand/wrist]

Carol Connelly: Oh, careful.

Simon Bishop: [Finished breaking cast off of his hand, and lets out a mock yell of pain, then both he and Carol start laughing]

Carol Connelly: Come on in, and try not to ruin everything by being you.

Melvin Udall: Maybe we could live *without* the wisecracks.

Carol Connelly: Maybe we could.

Carol Connelly: Have you ever let a romantic moment make you do something that you knew was stupid?

Carol Connelly: Is it a secret what you're doing here?

Melvin Udall: I had to see you.

Carol Connelly: Because?

Melvin Udall: It relaxes me. I'd feel better sitting ouside your apartment on the curb than any other place I can think of or imagine.

Carol Connelly: [after Carol arrives at Melvin's apartment in the middle of the night] I'm not going to sleep with you! I will never sleep with you, never, ever! Not ever!

Melvin Udall: Well, I'm sorry, but, um... we don't open for the "no sex oaths" until 9am.

Carol Connelly: Do you have any control over how creepy you allow yourself to get?

Melvin Udall: Yes I do, as a matter of fact. And to prove it, I have not gotten personal, and you have.

Dr. Martin Bettes: My wife is Melvin Udall's publisher. She said that I was to take excellent care of this little guy because you are urgently needed back at work. What kind of work do you do?

Carol Connelly: I'm a waitress.

Beverly Connelly: In Manhattan.

Carol Connelly: How are you?

Simon Bishop: Don't ask. I'm tired of my own complaints. I need to get some new thoughts.

Carol Connelly: Why? What are you thinking about now?

Simon Bishop: How to die, mostly.

Carol Connelly: To think that in our little mix you're the good roommate.

Melvin Udall: I need you to chaperone separate everything but cars you said you liked convertibles now I'm on the hook

Carol Connelly: I'm sorry, "stiff one eye ?", I can't, I work

Melvin Udall: You get off when you want to

Carol Connelly: My son

Melvin Udall: The vet says his doing fine

Carol Connelly: I'd rather not

Melvin Udall: What's that got to do with it?

Carol Connelly: Funny, I thought it strong point

Melvin Udall: "Write a note isn't she sweet?" I need a hand and where'd she go?

Carol Connelly: You're saying accepting your help obligates me?

Melvin Udall: Is there any other way to see it?

Carol Connelly: You're going to die soon with that diet. You know that, right?

Melvin Udall: Oh, we're all going to die soon. I will, you will, and it sure sounds like your son will.

Carol Connelly: If you ever mention my son again, you will not be able to eat here any more, Mr Udall. Do you understand me? Give me some sign you understand me, you sick fuck!

[last lines]

Melvin Udall: Want something?

Carol Connelly: Warm rolls.

Carol Connelly: I'm sure Simon they did something really "off" in order for you to feel this way but when it comes to your parents or your kids something will always be "off" unless you set it straight and maybe this thing happened to you so you have a chance to do that

Simon Bishop: When I was a kid I always painted and my mother always encouraged it , she was very fabulous about it, I was too young to think that there was anything wrong with it, so she used to pose nude for me, I always thought or I assumed my father knew about it, one day he found us and started screaming I was trying to defend my mother and make peace in the lamest way, I said " she's not naked, it's art" and he started hitting me and beat me unconscious, he taught me a lesson he thought I'd never forget, he knew what I was even before I did, the morning I left for college he walked into my room and held out his hand and it was filled with money, a big sweaty wad of money and he said, " take this and I don't want you ever to come back", I grabbed him and hugged him and he turned around and walked out I haven't seen him or talked to him since

[Carol kisses him on the cheek]

Melvin Udall: You know, they let you in with a housedress, yet they make me find a jacket.

[Carol gets up to leave]

Melvin Udall: Whoa, whoa, where are you going?

Carol Connelly: Pay me a compliment, Melvin. I need one. You have no idea how much that hurt my feelings.

Melvin Udall: How old are you? Because going by your eyes I'd say you were fifty!

Carol Connelly: Ha! Going by your eyes I'd say you were kind. So much for eyes.

Frank Sachs: You can take my car, a convertible. Do you drive?

Melvin Udall: Like the wind, BUT I'M NOT DOIN' IT!

Carol Connelly: Gettin' loud.

Melvin Udall: I've got Jews at my table.

Carol Connelly: It's not your table, behave! This once, you can sit at someone else's station.

[all the other waitresses gasp]

Carol Connelly: Or you can wait your turn.

Carol Connelly: [Melvin enters the restaurant in his suit] You look so se-... um, you look great. You look great.

Melvin Udall: [Melvin has once again insulted her without realizing it] Forget I said that.

Carol Connelly: I'll never forget you said it.

Melvin Udall: [after telling Carol that he thinks she's the greatest woman on Earth] Is that something that's bad for you to be around, for you?

Carol Connelly: No.

Carol Connelly: I want your life for five seconds where someone's offering me a free convertible.

Carol Connelly: A compliment is something nice about somebody else.