California Carlson Quotes in Texas Masquerade (1944)

John Martindale: I was tryin' to dig this well when they came.

Hopalong Cassidy: [grabbing a handful of soil and smelling it] You have any trouble diggin' this stuff?

John Martindale: Always! Black gumbo keeps oozin' into the hole.

Hopalong Cassidy: This is why Trimble wants your ranch and all the other land in the valley.

California Carlson: You mean that smelly stuff?

Jimmy Rogers: What's it good for?

Hopalong Cassidy: [laughs] There's a young fellah in the East can tell yuh. He's on his way to bein' the richest man in the world on account of it. His name is Rockefeller... John D!

[Hopalong Cassidy's former school teacher calls him "William"]

California Carlson: William? Who's William?

Lucky Jenkins: I guess she means Hoppy.

California Carlson: But that ain't his right name...it's Bill!

Hopalong Cassidy: Do you remember where the marshal's office is?

California Carlson: Down the next block, if someone hasn't stolen it.

California Carlson: I reckon you think I'm plumb loco, huh?

Hopalong Cassidy: Certainly not. Why, there's nothin' loco about a man tryin' to get a burro to raise his hands.

[The Gardner Gang has Hoppy and California trapped in a cross-fire]

Hopalong Cassidy: Ain't nervous are you?

California Carlson: Unh-unh. Just scared.

Hopalong Cassidy: How far is it into the town?

California Carlson: Oh, maybe six or seven miles as the crow flies, but us not bein' crows, we'll cover about ten between here and there.

California Carlson: I'm worried

Lin Bradley: What are you worried about?

California Carlson: What chance have we got when the shooting starts?

Hopalong Cassidy: We'll have as good a chance as Quirt had.

California Carlson: Sure and look what happened to him! A man that would get himself killed to prove a point has got a mule beat for stubbornness.

California Carlson: Hey! Come back here and I'll orphan your children and widow your wife!

California Carlson: You know, Hoppy, sometimes I wish I was a cow.

Hopalong Cassidy: Why?

California Carlson: Well, they always seem to be standin' knee deep in somethin' tuh eat.

[he laughs]

Hopalong Cassidy: [playing dumb] I don't get it.

California Carlson: [after doing a take] You don't get it?

Hopalong Cassidy: [Hoppy laughs heartily]

Hopalong Cassidy: [referring to imposter Kit Moyer] I got a feeling that boy isn't in this alone.

Jimmy Rogers: You mean someone else is pulling the strings?

Hopalong Cassidy: My hunch seems to run that way. At least we're not tipping our hand just yet.

California Carlson: And what's our next move, Hoppy? I'm just itchin' fer action.

Hopalong Cassidy: Ease down, you old fire-eater. If I'm not far wrong, you'll get plenty of action and soon.

Hopalong Cassidy: Your ears didn't fool yuh.

California Carlson: Nuthin' escapes me. I got ears like a mule.

Hopalong Cassidy: Something to that too!

California Carlson: [California realizes he has been insulted and does a double take]

California Carlson: [Talking in his sleep] I now pronounce you man and wife.

Hopalong Cassidy: California, wake up!

California Carlson: Sweetheart!

[He throws his arms around Hoppy]

Hopalong Cassidy: What are you doing?

California Carlson: Excuse me. You ain't the bride!