C. K. Dexter Haven Quotes in The Philadelphia Story (1940)

C. K. Dexter Haven: You'll never be a first class human being or a first class woman until you've learned to have some regard for human frailty.

George Kittredge: But a man expects his wife to...

Tracy Lord: Behave herself. Naturally.

C. K. Dexter Haven: To behave herself naturally.

[George gives him a look]

C. K. Dexter Haven: Sorry.

Macaulay Connor: Doggone it, C.K. Dexter Haven. Either I'm gonna sock you or you're gonna sock me.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Shall we toss a coin?

[Dexter has just proposed]

Tracy Lord: Oh Dexter you're not doing it just to soften the blow?

C. K. Dexter Haven: No.

Tracy Lord: Nor to save my face?

C. K. Dexter Haven: Oh, it's a nice little face.

Tracy Lord: Oh Dexter, I'll be yar now, I promise to be yar.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Be whatever you like, you're my redhead.

Tracy Lord: You hardly know him.

C. K. Dexter Haven: To hardly know him is to know him well.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Sometimes, for your own sake, Red, I think you should've stuck to me longer.

Tracy Lord: I thought it was for life, but the nice judge gave me a full pardon.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Aaah, that's the old redhead. No bitterness, no recrimination, just a good swift left to the jaw.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Orange juice, certainly.

Tracy Lord: Don't tell me you've forsaken your beloved whisky and whiskies.

C. K. Dexter Haven: No-no-no-no. I've just changed their colour, that's all. I'm going for the pale pastel shades now. They're more becoming of me. How about you, Mr. Connor? You drink, don't you - alcohol, I mean?

Macaulay Connor: Oh, a little.

C. K. Dexter Haven: [Amused] A little? And you a writer? Tsk, tsk, tsk. I thought all writers drank to excess and beat their wives. You know, at one time I think I secretly wanted to be a writer.

[He and Tracy exchange scornful looks]

Tracy Lord: Dexter, say something.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, I...

Tracy Lord: Oh, Dexter, I'm such an unholy mess of a girl.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, that's no good. That's not even conversation.

C. K. Dexter Haven: I'm sorry, but I thought I better hit you before he did. He's in better shape than I am.

Macaulay Connor: Well you'll do!

Macaulay Connor: [calling outside his house] C.K. Dexter Haven! Oh, C.K. Dexter Haven!

C. K. Dexter Haven: [coming to the door in his pajamas] What's up?

Macaulay Connor: You are.

C. K. Dexter Haven: I only hope it's worth it. Come in.

George Kittredge: [walks in on Tracy and Dexter together] Well, I suppose I should object to this twosome.

C. K. Dexter Haven: That would be most objectionable.

C. K. Dexter Haven: [looking for the "hair of the dog"] Do you s'pose, sir, speaking of eye-openers...?

Uncle Willie: Oh, that's the first sane remark I've heard today. C'malong, Dexter, I know a formula that's said to pop the pennies off the eyelids of dead Irishmen.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Of course, Mr. Connor, she's a girl who is generous to a fault.

Tracy Lord: To a fault.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Except to other people's faults.

Tracy Lord: You seem quite contemptuous of me all of a sudden.

C. K. Dexter Haven: No Red, not of you, never of you.

Macaulay Connor: [speaking of Tracy] What are her leading characteristics?

C. K. Dexter Haven: She has a horror of men who wear their hats in the house.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: Leading characteristics to be filled in later.

Macaulay Connor: I can fill them in right now: the rich, rapacious, American female. There's no other country where she exists.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: And would I change places with Tracy Samantha Lord for all her wealth and beauty? Oh boy just ask me.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Hello friends and enemies.

Uncle Willie: Young man, remove yourself!

C. K. Dexter Haven: How are you, sir?

Uncle Willie: I don't know. Get along! Get along!

George Kittredge: [Dexter has butted in] You keep out of this.

C. K. Dexter Haven: You forget I am out of it.

C. K. Dexter Haven: The moon is also a goddess, chaste and virginal.

Tracy Lord: Stop using those foul words.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: We've come for the body of Macaulay Connor.

C. K. Dexter Haven: I'm so glad you came. Can you use a typewriter?

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: No, thanks, I've got one at home.

Tracy Lord: Only for the moment, I'm not interested in myself.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Not interested in yourself, Red, you're fascinated. You're far and away your favorite person in the world.

Tracy Lord: Dexter, would you mind doing something for me?

C. K. Dexter Haven: Anything. What?

Tracy Lord: Get the heck out of here.

Macaulay Connor: What's this? Is it my book?

C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes.

Macaulay Connor: C. K. Dexter Haven you have unsuspected depth!

C. K. Dexter Haven: Thanks, old chap.

Macaulay Connor: But have you read it?

C. K. Dexter Haven: When I was trying to stop drinking, I read anything.

Macaulay Connor: And did you stop drinking?

C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes. Your book didn't do it though.

Macaulay Connor: C.K. Dexter Haven, I would like to talk to you.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Well, let's go in the talking room.

Macaulay Connor: [drunk] I bring you greetings and Cinderella's slipper, champagne. Champagne is a great leveleler... leveleler. It makes you my equal.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Not quite.

Macaulay Connor: Well, almost my equal.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: I remember your honeymoon quite well. You and she on a little sail boat, the "True Love", wasn't it?

C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes it was. How did you know?

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: I was the only photographer whose camera you didn't smash. You were terribly nice about it. You threw it in the ocean.

Macaulay Connor: Oh, one of those.

C. K. Dexter Haven: Yes I had the strange notion that our honeymoon was our own.