Billy Peltzer Quotes in Gremlins (1984)

Kate: Now I have another reason to hate Christmas.

Billy Peltzer: What are you talking about?

Kate: The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn't home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That's when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus.

Chinese Boy: Look Mister, there are some rules that you've got to follow.

Billy Peltzer: Yeah, what kind of rules?

Chinese Boy: First of all, keep him out of the light, he hates bright light, especially sunlight, it'll kill him. Second, don't give him any water, not even to drink. But the most important rule, the rule you can never forget, no matter how much he cries, no matter how much he begs, never feed him after midnight.

Sheriff Frank: Tell me something, Billy. How come a cute little guy like this can turn into a thousand ugly monsters?

Billy Peltzer: Well, you see, this is before it enters the pupal stage.

Deputy Brent: The pupal stage?

Billy Peltzer: Yeah, right. Plus it multiplies with water.

Deputy Brent: Aw, Christ.

Sheriff Frank: Brent give the kid some water.

Billy Peltzer: I wouldn't do that, Sheriff.

Grandfather: He has something he wants to say to you.

Billy Peltzer: You mean you can understand what he says when he speaks?

Grandfather: To understand, one has only to listen.

Kate: What're they doing?

Billy Peltzer: They're watching Snow White. And they love it.

Billy Peltzer: Cover your mouth. Don't breathe any gas.

Pete: One, two, three, four, five new ones. NOW can I have one?

Billy Peltzer: I don't know, Pete.

Pete: Hey, look! That one's got a cute little stripe on its head. Hey, cutie.

[Pete attempts to pet the baby mogwai, who, in response, snarls and attempts to bite Pete]

Kate: Will you sign this petition? They're trying to close Dorie's Tavern.

Billy Peltzer: Sure. That's where my dad proposed to my mom, you know.

Kate: That's where everyone's dad proposed to their mom.

Ruby Deagle: I want your dog.

Billy Peltzer: Barney?

Ruby Deagle: Give him to me. I'll take him to the kennel, they'll put him to sleep. It will be quick and painless compared to what I would do to him.

Billy Peltzer: What could you do?

Ruby Deagle: I'll catch the beast myself. He'll get what he deserves, a slow painful death.Maybe I'll put him in my spin-drier on high heat.

Mr. Anderson: That would do it all right!

[Barney then jumps from the bank counter and smashes Mrs Deagle's snowman head and starts barking at her]

Billy Peltzer: They're Inside.

Kate: All Of Them?

Lynn Peltzer: [shocked to see eggs in Billy's basement] What are they?

Billy Peltzer: They're the Mogwai... I guess.

Lynn Peltzer: Did you give them water?

Billy Peltzer: No.

Lynn Peltzer: Did you feed them after midnight?

Billy Peltzer: Well, I gave them some chicken

[realises about his clock]

Billy Peltzer: No, wait, I made sure

[goes over to his clock and founds out that his clock has been ripped off it's cords]

Billy Peltzer: Mom, what's going on here?

Gerald: If it isn't Captain Clip-On. Guess who almost signed for unemployment today?

Billy Peltzer: I give up.

Gerald: You... But Mr. Corben had second thoughts. He gets so sentimental around the holidays.

Billy Peltzer: Imagine that.

Gerald: If it was up to me, I would have fired you in a second.

Billy Peltzer: Well, a merry Christmas to you too.

Billy Peltzer: It's the creatures!

Sheriff Frank: [angered] Ah, the creatures.

Billy Peltzer: The creatures are making it look like an accident!

Kate: What are they, Billy?

Billy Peltzer: They're gremlins, Kate, just like Mr. Futterman said.

[Gizmo is dressed like Rambo]

Kate Peltzer: What happened to HIM?

Billy Peltzer: I dunno. I guess they pushed him too far.

Billy Peltzer: Sir, I'm... I'm sorry about the building.

Daniel Clamp: I'm not.

Kate Peltzer: You're not?

Daniel Clamp: For one thing, we're insured for the damages. For another, maybe it wasn't a place for people anyway. It was a place for things. You make a place for things... things come.

Grandpa Fred: Hey, you two, the building's completely screwed up today.

Billy Peltzer: Yeah, we know, Fred.

[Billy and Kate leave]

Grandpa Fred: [smiling, chuckling to himself] Heh heh, you're young. You know everything.