Beaumont Quotes in The Hunt for Red October (1990)

[telling young Sonarman Beaumont about Jones's most embarrassing moment]

Watson: Seaman Jones here is into music in a big way, and he views this whole boat as his own personal, private stereo set. Well, one day he's got this piece of Pavarotti...

Seaman Jones: It was Paganini.

Watson: Whatever.

Seaman Jones: It was Paganini.

Watson: Look, this is my story, okay?

Seaman Jones: Then tell it right, COB. Pavarotti is a tenor, Paganini was a composer.

Watson: So anyway, he's got this music out in the water, and he's listening to it on his headsets, and he's just happy as a clam. And then all hell breaks loose. See, there's this whole slew of boats out in the water...

Seaman Jones: Including one WAY out at Pearl!

Watson: Including one way the hell out at Pearl. All of a sudden, they start hearing, Pavarotti...

Beaumont: Pavarotti!

Watson: Coming up their asses!

Seaman Jones: Conn, sonar! Crazy Ivan!

Capt. Bart Mancuso: All stop! Quick quiet!

[the ships engines are shut down completely]

Beaumont: What's goin' on?

Seaman Jones: Russian captains sometime turn suddenly to see if anyone's behind them. We call it "Crazy Ivan." The only thing you can do is go dead. Shut everything down and make like a hole in the water.

Beaumont: So what's the catch?

Seaman Jones: The catch is, a boat this big doesn't exactly stop on a dime... and if we're too close, we'll drift right into the back of him.

Beaumont: Won't he hear us?

Seaman Jones: Not if we stay in his baffles, Seaman Beaumont. Not if we stay in his baffles. Come up right behind his propellor and he'll be deaf as a post!

Seaman Jones: [Jonesy is teaching Beaumont] Hear it now?

Beaumont: [resigned] No.

Seaman Jones: Beaumont, at Caltech we used to do this in our sleep! You hear it now?

Beaumont: Wait a minute...

Seaman Jones: Uh oh...

Beaumont: Disparaged surface clutter...

Seaman Jones: Yeeeesssss?

Beaumont: I should go to SAPS?

Seaman Jones: Correct! Seaman Beaumont, Signal Algorithmic Processing System. Give it a week and you'll be teaching at Caltech. So, like Beethoven on the computer, you have laboured to produce... a biologic.

Beaumont: A what?

Seaman Jones: A whale, Seaman Beaumont, a whale. A marine mammal that knows a hell of a lot more about sonar, then you do. Train her around to 269 and lets try it again?

Beaumont: I'm still scared as a motherfucker, O.D. They talking like they serious as hell giving me time for that machine gun shit.

Ordell Robbie: Aw, come on, man, they just trying to put a fright in your ass.

Beaumont: Well, if that's what they doin', they done did it.

Ordell Robbie: How old is that machine gun shit?

Beaumont: About three years...

Ordell Robbie: Three years? That's a old crime, man! They ain't got enough room for all the niggas running around killing people today, now how are they gonna find room for you?

Ordell Robbie: Look, I hate to be the kinda nigga does a nigga a favor, then, BAM!, hits a nigga up for a favor in return. But I'm afraid I gots to be that kinda nigga.

Beaumont: Whatchu mean?

Ordell Robbie: I need a favor, nigga!

Beaumont: Man, you must be out of your fuckin' mind if you think I'm gonna get in this dirty-ass trunk.

Ordell Robbie: We ain't going nowhere but to Koreatown, man. You ain't gonna be locked in here no more than ten minutes.

Beaumont: I ain't ridin' in no trunk for no minute, man.

Beaumont: I just ain't getting in no goddamn, dirty-ass trunk man. I got a problem with small places.

Ordell Robbie: Well I got a problem with spending ten thousand dollars on ungrateful, peanut-head niggas to get 'em out of jail, but I did it!

Ordell Robbie: [Ordell has bailed Beaumont out of jail] Look at you and your free ass. Come here, boy, gimme a motherfuckin' hug.

Beaumont: Good lookin' out, man. I don't know what to say. Thank you, thank you...

Ordell Robbie: Uh-huh. Who was there for your ass?

Beaumont: You were there for my ass.

Ordell Robbie: Who?

Beaumont: You.

Ordell Robbie: Who?

Beaumont: You!

Ordell Robbie: Whooo?

Beaumont: You nigga, damn!

Ordell Robbie: You goddamn right. That's how that shit works: you get your ass in trouble, I get your ass out. That's my motherfuckin' job. And I don't mind telling you, nigga, it's steady work.

Beaumont: Man, you catch a nigga off-guard with this shit.

Beaumont: I'm ready, man. What's the problem?

Ordell Robbie: There ain't no problem, it's more like a situation. You remember them three M-60 machine guns I sold last year outta the five I got?

Beaumont: Yeah.

Ordell Robbie: Well, I'm gonna sell the other two tonight. There's this group of Koreans over in Koreatown, starting' this neighborhood watch thing. They need some weapons so they can show the neighborhood niggers they mean business. Now, I'm gonna sell them the other two machine guns, all right? The problem is, I ain't never done business with these Koreans before. Now I ain't worried, 'cause by and large Asians are very dependable, they don't want no trouble. You might argue with them about price and shit, but you ain't gotta worry about them shooting you in the back, you know what I'm saying? But I got me a rule: Never do business with people you ain't never done business with before without backup. And that's why I need you: backup.

Beaumont: My God!

Djinn: Not yet, human. Soon... very soon I will be.