Ashley Albright Quotes in Just My Luck (2006)

Madame Z: Look, did anything unusual happen at that party?

Ashley Albright: Oh... Well besides the fact that I tore my dress, nearly choked to death, and the felony charges... no.

Madame Z: Yikes! How about before that?

Ashley Albright: Well, I mean, I kissed a cute guy, but... that's hardly unusual. Wait a second. You said I could lose it to someone else, right? So does that mean he took my luck from me?

Madame Z: Maybe he needed it more than you.

Ashley Albright: So he stole it? That little whack-kissing bandit! No, that is just my luck, okay? And you're going to help me and tell me how to get it back.

Madame Z: Me? Well, let's see. Uh... If he took it from you with a kiss... Then it stands to reason...

Ashley Albright: What?

Jake Hardin: [sees Ashley put in one side of the light bulb] And she should've turned the light off because now she's going to be...

Ashley Albright: [light sparks] AAAAAAAAAA!

Jake Hardin: ...electrocuted.

Jake Hardin: [catching Ashley as she falls backwards] Hi.

Ashley Albright: [gasps] Oh, my God... Hi.

Ashley Albright: Here we go again. Maggie you've known me since Seventh Grade, right? Okay, will you please tell her that I'm not lucky.

Maggie: Well, you were voted prom queen at Franklin High.

Ashley Albright: So?

Maggie: We went to Jefferson!

Ashley Albright: Jake... Jake is the guy I kissed at the masquerade bash.

Dana: Uh-uh.

Ashley Albright: Yes!

Dana: No!

Ashley Albright: Yes!

Ashley Albright: No!

Ashley Albright: Yes.

Dana: Yes. That's great. He's hot.

Ashley Albright: You don't understand. If I kiss Jake, it's hello fabulous carefree life.

Dana: And that's a problem.

Ashley Albright: Ever since this masquerade bash, it's like I'm the Anti-Midas, and everything I touch turns to crap.

Maggie: Because when one door closes...

Ashley Albright: ...Two others open.

Jake Hardin: Look, I know a job if you're looking for one.

Ashley Albright: Really? What's the scam?

Jake Hardin: No scam.

Ashley Albright: Well, do you want me to join your religion or something?

Jake Hardin: No, no religion stuff. It's just a job. You know, a bad job. Crummy pay for crummy hours.

Ashley Albright: It still doesn't answer my question: What's the scam?

Jake Hardin: Let's just say I know what it's like to be S.O.L.

Ashley Albright: "S.O.L."?

Jake Hardin: "Shit out of luck".

Ashley Albright: What makes you think I'm S.O.L.? Just because I spilt the salt back there?

Jake Hardin: [points to the "Wet Paint" sign on the bench that Ashley is sitting on] Yeah.

Ashley Albright: [groans] Oh...

Jake Hardin: Look, where you are now.... I've been there. Been there? I lived there. I was kinda the Mayor of there.

[laughs]

Jake Hardin: I'm Jake.

Ashley Albright: Ashley. Oh, God.

Jake Hardin: No, you got it.

Ashley Albright: Oh, my gosh.

Jake Hardin: Looks great on you.

Ashley Albright: Can anything else... I mean, to be honest, I'm not really dressed for a job interview right now.

Jake Hardin: For this one, I think you'll be fine.

Ashley Albright: Okay.

Jake Hardin: Want to check it out?

Ashley Albright: Why are you so nice?

Jake Hardin: What? Look, I mean, shit out of luck. That's my thing.

Jake Hardin: Can I give you a ride?

Ashley Albright: I only live twenty nine blocks from here.

Jake Hardin: Uh, at least take my umbrella.

Ashley Albright: I already have one.

Jake Hardin: You know, I got a washer-dryer, uh... microwave popcorn, satellite T.V.

Ashley Albright: No, I... I really shouldn't.

Jake Hardin: Look, I don't do this for just anybody, but I'll even throw in some hot chocolate with those little tiny marshmallows.

Ashley Albright: I love the little marshmallows.

Jake Hardin: How about you toss the lighting rod and get in.

Ashley Albright: Ooh...

[sighs]

Ashley Albright: Thank you.

Ashley Albright: [to Jake] What can I say? I am a pathetic disaster and I give up.

Ashley Albright: Dana, how's my 'scope?

Dana: Leo, Leo... *tuts* Your moon is in Uranus.

Dana: Ooo.

Ashley Albright: Doesn't sound pretty.

Jake Hardin: So, other than, uh, you know getting zapped, how's the job working out?

Ashley Albright: Oh, I can't complain.

Jake Hardin: That's good.

Ashley Albright: No, I mean, I'm literally not allowed to complain. I had to sign something.

[first lines]

Ashley Albright: Good morning, Oscar.

David Pennington: Hold it.

[Ashley holds the elevator]

David Pennington: Thanks.

Ashley Albright: You're welcome.

David Pennington: Promise you'll be there. Six o'clock.

Ashley Albright: Okay. I'll be the red head that looks like this.

Ashley Albright: [finding a dress with her dry cleaning] This isn't mine.

Dana: Who's is it?

Ashley Albright: [reading the tag] Sarah Jessica Parker's.

[Maggie screams]

Dana: What?

Ashley Albright: I'm not kidding.

Maggie: I didn't know Sarah Jessica Parker lived in your building.

Dana: Oh, my God. And look, it's Dolce.

Ashley Albright: Oh, my gosh. I can return it tomorrow.

Dana: Let me look. Ah, yes. Your size. What are the odds?

Maggie: Don't be jealous.

Ashley Albright: You know, this might actually look cute on me.

Maggie: You can totally wear it tonight.

Dana: I'm gonna need some chocolate now.

Maggie: I'm gonna need some milk.

Ashley Albright: I'm gonna try on the dress.

Ashley Albright: [seeing a helicopter] I thought we were taking a jet.

David Pennington: This takes us to the jet.

Ashley Albright: Oh... This is definitely going in my diary.

Dana: So did you?

Ashley Albright: Okay, David Pennington is a gentleman. We kissed.

Dana: Boring.

Ashley Albright: [to Zuki] Check please, Zuki.

Zuki, Japanese Maitre D': Okay.

Ashley Albright: Thank you.

Maggie: So was it a normal kiss or was it a supernatural tingling in your toes butterflies in your tummy kiss.

Ashley Albright: It was enough to get him to ask me on another date.

[Zuki hands Ashley the bill]

Dana: No, no, no, no, no. Uh-uh.

Ashley Albright: [to her company credit card] Wait, what's that?

[to Dana and Maggie]

Ashley Albright: Señor Platibum says lunch is on him.

Dana: I can't stand this.

Ashley Albright: What?

Dana: And now on top of everything else Peggy Braden has given you world wide buying power. There's positive energy and then there's just plain dumb luck.

Maggie: [after Jake kisses Ashley and takes away her good luck] Ashley, who was that?

Ashley Albright: Umm... I honestly don't know.

Maggie: You were just kissing that guy, you honestly don't know?

Ashley Albright: Yeah, yeah.

[the heel of Ashley's shoe snaps]

Ashley Albright: Oh!

Maggie: What?

Ashley Albright: My shoe.

Party Detective: Ashley Albright?

Ashley Albright: I'm afraid to say yes.

Party Detective: You're under arrest.

Ashley Albright: Is this about Sarah Jessica Parker's dress?

Ashley Albright: Is this your floor too?

Tough Jailbird: What did you say?

[punches her]

Ashley Albright: [to Maggie] Oh... I never noticed. Is your cat all black?

Maggie: Yeah. Why?

Ashley Albright: Just curious. Well this is nice. We'll have fun. Everything's gonna be... Oh, my god.

Dana: What?

Ashley Albright: I have a zit. I have a zit. Girls, I have a zit!

[Ashley's hair gets caught in the hair dryer and she smashes the bathroom window]

Dana: Ash, are you okay in there?

Ashley Albright: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Dana: Ashley? Ash!

[Ashley causes the lights in the entire building to blackout]

Ashley Albright: Wait, you're Katie?

Katy: Last time I checked.

Ashley Albright: [Jake goes to kiss Ashley again] No, no, no. no. I have to go now.

Jake Hardin: Uh... Now?

Ashley Albright: Taxi!

[a mass of taxi's stop]

Ashley Albright: Sorry, I was just checking something.

Ashley Albright: Yes, my luck is back.

Ashley Albright: [knocks someone over] Oh, my God!

Ashley Albright: [to Maggie and Dana] Ta-dah! Last one in stock and just my size. Lucky, huh?

Ashley Albright: My bad!