1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder Quotes in Catch-22 (1970)

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: We're gonna come out of this war rich!

Yossarian: You're gonna come out rich. We're gonna come out dead.

Yossarian: Those bastards are trying to kill me.

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: No one is trying to kill you sweetheart. Now eat your dessert like a good boy.

Yossarian: Oh yeah? Then why are they shooting at me Milo?

Dobbs: They're shooting at everyone Yossarian.

Yossarian: And what difference does that make?

Dobbs: Look Yossarian, suppose, I mean just suppose everyone thought the same way you do.

Yossarian: Then I'd be a damn fool to think any different.

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Nately died a wealthy man, Yossarian. He had over sixty shares in the syndicate.

Yossarian: What difference does that make? He's dead.

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Then his family will get it.

Yossarian: He didn't have time to have a family.

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Then his parents will get it.

Yossarian: They don't need it, they're rich.

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Then they'll understand.

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Yossarian, I want you to do something for me.

[removes item from small bag]

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: I want to serve this to the men. Taste it and let me know what you think.

[Yossarian takes a bite]

Yossarian: What is it?

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Chocolate-covered cotton.

Yossarian: What are you, crazy?

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: No good, huh?

Yossarian: For Christ's sake, you didn't even take the seeds out!

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Is it really that bad?

Yossarian: It's cotton!

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: They've got to learn to like it!

Yossarian: Why?

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: Look, I saw this great opportunity to corner the market in Egyptian cotton. How was I supposed to know there was going to be a glut? I've got a hundred warehouses stacked with the stuff all over the European theater. I can't get rid of a penny's worth. People eat cotton candy, don't they? Well this stuff is better - it's made out of real cotton.

Yossarian: Milo, people can't eat cotton!

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: They've got to - it's for the Syndicate!

Yossarian: It will make them sick! - why don't you try it yourself if you don't believe me?

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: I did - and it made me sick.

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: What's good for M & M Enterprises will be good for the country.

1st Lt. Milo Minderbinder: As a matter of fact, Father, I know I can get my hands on an entire shipment of religious relics, blessed by the Pope himself. The Germans swiped them and put them on the open market. As I understand it, the stuff includes a wrist and collarbones of some of your top saints!