Warden Toolman Quotes in Taking Care of Business (1990)

Jimmy Dworski: It's the Cubs in the World Series - it's a dream of mine, sir.

Warden Toolman: I know, I know,I know, I know, all right. I am not gonna stand in the way of anybody's dream, Jimmy. I'll tell you what:

Jimmy Dworski: What?

Warden Toolman: If I sink this put, you can go. What do you think of that? Hmmm?

Jimmy Dworski: I think you should keep your head down, arms straight, drop your shoulder, concentrate, focus, think of the hole, GET the ball in the hole!

Warden Toolman: Smell the hot dogs now, Jimmy. The crack of the bat; the roar of the crowd; you can order your tickets now, Jim.

[the ball misses the hole by a mile]

Jimmy Dworski: Half a day. Just a half a day. I'll make it up when I come back. I'll give you 2 weeks.

Warden Toolman: [Shakes head no as if struggling with the decision]

Jimmy Dworski: OK OK I'll give you 2 weeks solitary.

Warden Toolman: [Nods yes] No can do.

Jimmy Dworski: Aw, COME ON! Lighten up, will ya? This game is SO important to me. It REALLY is. Come on this is just a minimum security prison, for Christ's sake!

[Warden and guard look up as if offended]

Jimmy Dworski: I mean a MAXIMUM minimum security prison - it's a tough prison, though.

Warden Toolman: Take away his TV priveleges.

Jimmy Dworski: Aw, COME ON! You can't take away my TV! I GOTTA watch the game. Come on - please don't be an asshole, all right?

Warden Toolman: Did you call me an asshole?

Jimmy Dworski: [to guard] Did I say "asshole"? I didn't call him an asshole, did I?

Prison Guard: Yep.

Warden Toolman: Take away everyone's TV priveleges, and let them know whose fault it is. NO ONE is gonna watch the game!

Jimmy Dworski: No - you can't... You can't!

Warden Toolman: NO ONE!

Jimmy Dworski: I didn't mean to call you an asshole - that's not what I meant! I meant assWIPE! You're an assWIPE!

[to guards]

Jimmy Dworski: And you - you LOOK like an asshole! And you look like another asshole!