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I'm Irish and I was born on St. Patrick's day. I'm lucky sevens. -- Billy Corgan
Every St. Patrick's Day every Irishman goes out to find another Irishman to make a speech to. -- Shane Leslie
Do you suppose it's true, that St. Patrick was a parselmouth, and his muggle friends never knew? -- Dave Beard
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It is St. Patrick's Day. And here in Scranton, that is a huge deal. It is the closest that the Irish will ever get to Christmas. -- Michael Scott
We've never done a coordinated music effort. Everything else we've done has been around a holiday - Halloween, Mardi Gras, half way to Mardi Gras, St. Patrick's Day. -- Craig Johnson
St. Patrick's Day is a holy day for Roman Catholics in Ireland to pray and a day for drunk people to vomit with their pants down in New Jersey. -- Margot Leitman
The legend goes that St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I was thinking... that must be hard to put all the tiny seatbelts on all the snakes. -- Ellen DeGeneres
St. Patrick's Day is the fourth biggest drinking day in America. It's not the biggest. It's right behind New Year's Eve, Fourth of July, or any Secret Service party. -- David Letterman
We will live to see the day that St. Patrick's Cathedral is a child-care center and the pope is no longer a disgrace to the skirt that he has on. -- Gloria Steinem
St. Patrick... one of the few saints whose feast day presents the opportunity to get determinedly whacked and make a fool of oneself all under the guise of acting Irish. -- Charles Madigan
Making it [St. Patrick's Day] a great day for the Irish, but just an ok day if you're looking for a quiet tavern to talk, read or have a white wine spritzer. -- Jon Stewart
The shamrock is a religious symbol. St. Patrick said the leaves represented the trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That's why four leaf clovers are so lucky, you get a bonus Jesus. -- Stephen Colbert
Roughly 1 in 6 Americans have Irish blood. I'd say it's probably safe to assume that the average Irish-American who only comes out on St. Patrick's Day has no idea of the sort of economic powerhouse Ireland has become. -- Scott McClellan
Despair was so familiar to me; it could be banished by the sight of a beautiful mannikin in the window. It could be dispelled by the spectacle of lights surrounding a tower. It could be lifted by the great ghostly shape of St. Patrick's coming into view. And then despair would come again. -- Anne Rice
[St. Patrick] was a terror to any snake that came in his path, whether it was the cold, slimy reptile sliding along the ground or the more dangerous snake that oppresses men through false teachings. And he drove the snakes out of the minds of men, snakes of superstition and brutality and cruelty. -- Arthur Brisbane
It's a big deal about whether or not gays can march in the St. Patrick's Day Parade and I have to say that on some level I kind of see their point. Because when you think about it, it is a real macho heterosexual event. Bunch of guys in short skirts on a cart made of rose pedals sharing a bag pipe. That's not for sissies. -- Laura Kightlinger
My parents sent me to a school across town, an integrated school, where I had the chance to meet and grow up with people who were from other parts of the world. ... I remember feeling that I would never have anything to contribute on St. Patrick's Day. I couldn't tell the stories that they might have been telling about their forebears and I felt left out. -- Isabel Wilkerson
I do identify with St. Patrick, not just in name. He drove the snakes out of Ireland. I intend to drive the snakes out of the State House -- Deval Patrick
I have a lot of fond memories of St. Patrick's Day in Chicago. Vague, but fond. -- Joel Murray
I'm Irish on St. Patrick's Day. I'm Italian on Columbus Day. I'm a New Yorker every day. -- Tamara Tunie
I'm very impressed by St. Patrick's. Another deity to me is definitely Saks Fifth Avenue. Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they're home. I'm that way at Saks. -- Caroline Rhea
I went to a Catholic University and there's something about being a Catholic-American. You know, St. Patrick's Day is, I'm Irish-Catholic. There's alcoholism in my family. It's like I've got to be Catholic, right? -- Jim Gaffigan

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