Space Hanlon Quotes in Bombshell (1933)

Lola Burns: Get away from me, all of you! You're nothing but a pack of leeches!

Pops: Leeches?

Lola Burns: Yes, leeches! At least he

[motions to Space]

Lola Burns: was right; I don't know how I expected to bring a baby in here with an old fool for his grandfather who's half-drunk all the time!...

Pops: After the way I've worked to handle your affairs...

Lola Burns: Well, what about my affairs! Where are they? Why aren't my bills paid? Where does my money go? I never see any of it!

Mac: Lola, you're exciting yourself...

Lola Burns: Well, what are you doing about you? Don't think I don't know about your stealing and all the cuts you get from the stores! And you

Elsie, Hanlon's Secretary: Aw, listen, Sis...

Lola Burns: And you who never, haven't had a job to your name for three years and bringing her in here like it was a hotel for traveling salesmen! I've only stood it because it's the only home and family I've got. But I'm getting sick of it, you understand? There's only Loretta and the dogs that ever do a single thing for me. All the rest of you are just out for what you can get and I'm getting pretty tired of being a golden goose or whatever you call it!

Space Hanlon: Atta girl, Sugar!

Lola Burns: Don't "atta girl" me! I never want to see you again as long as I breath. You're worse than all the rest of 'em!

[starts quoting Space]

Lola Burns: "Stone-Age Stuff!" "Mad with Desire!" "Lovers' Brawl!" Is that the way you prove you just more than care for me? Treating me like a strip act in a burlesque show! A glamorous Bombshell, eh? A glorified chump, that's what I've been! Well, I'm through do you understand? With the business, with everybody! You can get another "It Girl," a "But Girl" or a "How, When and Where Girl." I'm clearing out - and you can all stay here in this half-paid-for car barn and get somebody else to pull the apple cart! I'm going where ladies and gentlemen hang their hats and get some peace and quiet... and if any of you try to interfere with me - I'll complain to the authorities!

Lola Burns: How do you think I enjoy reading all that scandal that hasn't an ounce of truth in it?

Space Hanlon: I've told you, sugar, it isn't what you like to read. It's what the public likes to read.

Space Hanlon: You act like I had something to do with it.

Lola Burns: Who else could? Poor Hugo is arrested just two minutes ago and here it is spread all over the front page!

Space Hanlon: Yeah, but, Sugar, modern journalism is speeded up, just like everything else. You know, special open wire story goes right in the linotype, on the presses, you see it in the newsreel. Brrrrrrrrr. Bomp-bomp-bomp. Bomp-bomp-bomp Bam! Out come the editions - all folded up - spread all over the city by special cars. Newsies start selling 'em to the man on the street. He reads the story. Gets the dope exactly as if he'd been right on the spot the minute that it happened.

Lola Burns: Stop this cab and get outta here!

Space Hanlon: Come on, Lola. How about you and me ending this cat and dog fight, huh?

Lola Burns: Gee, I'd like to, Space.

Man tending to Lola: Give him a break, will you, Lola? He's not a bad guy for a publicity man.

Lola Burns: That's just it. We used to have a lot of fun, but ever since I began to make a name for myself, he's been double-crossing me with his rotten publicity. He's nothing...

Space Hanlon: He's seen to it that Lola Burns is a family slogan from Kokomo, Indiana, to the Khyber Pass. Strong men take one look at your picture, go home and kiss their wives for the first time in ten years. You're international tonic, you're a boon to repopulation in a world thinned out by war and famine.

Lola Burns: Well, Hugo happens to be a charming gentleman.

Space Hanlon: Just because a guy with an Ellis Island accent happens to have a dress suit with a hair ribbon across his chest, you dames get a pedigree and start reaching for the diamond tiara.

Elsie, Hanlon's Secretary: Mr. Hanlon, London's Calling! London!

Space Hanlon: Tell them to call back.

Elsie, Hanlon's Secretary: But, it's London!

Space Hanlon: Well, well, well, I see the bread line already started to form this morning. Here's a couple of more vultures. I've come to collect the skeleton, boys. That is, if you've got all the meat off of it.

Lola Burns: What a minute. Don't tell me. Let me think.

Space Hanlon: One at a time, please, don't crowd. Step right up folks. In the next tent we have, Lola Burns. The girl who actually thinks while thousands cheer.

Lola Burns: You get outta here with your cheap wise cracks!

Space Hanlon: Oh, gee, Lola, what's the idea in running around with that rummage sale Romeo?

Space Hanlon: Listen, Sugar, I know I'm no prize out of a Cracker Jack box. But, at least I don't allow a procession of dames to lead me around by the nose.

Lola Burns: That's because somebody forgot to put a ring in it!

Space Hanlon: You can't pull a trick like that here. There was a private party.

First Immigration Officer: Uncle Sam can pull anything, anywhere.

Space Hanlon: Well, that ungrateful little pirate. She wants my job, does she? After I got the whole country talking about her with the coffee cups this morning. No actress has had a break like that, since the dark lady... sung Mamie songs. Imagine that little Peoria cornflower trying to give me the runaround! Ha!

Space Hanlon: Now, don't worry H.E. Where I kick her, the camera will never pick up the scar.

Lola Burns: What are you gonna do?

Space Hanlon: Oh, I don't know. I've been wantin' to get away for a long time, anyway. China, maybe. Australia. Tahiti. The South Seas. I guess that's as good a place as any, to end things up, when you're a failure.

Lola Burns: You mean, like, Gable did in "Susan Lenox" with all those sailors and women?

Space Hanlon: Yes, I guess it won't be so hard to - forget.

Space Hanlon: Ha-ha! Anytime Jim Brogan does anything out of pure friendship for a dame, I'll call the undertaker, he's dead!

Space Hanlon: Oh, Sugar, what do you see in that guy!

Lola Burns: I see as much in him as you see in Alice Cole!

Space Hanlon: Oh, that's all over! Besides, you wouldn't know anything about it if you didn't come bustin' into people's offices without knockin'.

Reporter: Is it true Lola Burns is gonna have a baby?

Space Hanlon: [laughs] Why, why don't you change your brand of narcotics!

Space Hanlon: What's all this - em - this - eh - tornado about you gonna kick a bassinet around the house? Huh?

Lola Burns: You would try to be funny about it.

Space Hanlon: Well, do you mean - you mean - it's true? A-a baby?

Lola Burns: Yes. And this is one thing I don't need any help from you on!

Space Hanlon: Oh, Lola, honey, baby girl, you don't have to keep a stiff upper lip with me. You know - hey, listen - what's his name? That's all I wanna know! Don't tell me it's that - it's that...

Lola Burns: Don't be silly! I don't even know his name yet.

Space Hanlon: You don't know his name? You mean you - you know - well, holy smoke, when are you gonna find out?

Lola Burns: If its any of your business, as soon as I adopt the baby and get a good name to suit him.

Space Hanlon: Ohhhhh, so you're gonna adopt a baby.

Lola Burns: So, I'm not gonna kidnap one!

Space Hanlon: For minute there you had me thinkin' you were going in for independent production!

Space Hanlon: Listen, you can't adopt a baby!

Lola Burns: As if you or anybody else could stop me.

Space Hanlon: Yeh, but that isn't your line! The fans don't want to see the "It" girl surrounded by an aura of motherhood leanin' over a cradle, sterilizin' bottles. I dubbed you the Hollywood Bombshell and that's the way the like ya! Men. Scrapes. Dazzing Clothes. A gorgeous pinwheel personality. Not pattin' babies on the back to bring up bubbles!

Space Hanlon: Okay, baby, you win. But I'll tell you one thing, this home, with your family, is as a fine a place to bring up a baby as an alligator farm!

Space Hanlon: I'm from the telephone company. You might not know it but there is something a matter with your telephone. Where is it?

Yokahama: Phone? There! I talk phone just now. Work good.

Space Hanlon: [to the Asian butler] Probably what happened to it - you "confused" it.

Space Hanlon: [to the paparazzi outside of Lola's home] Now listen you mugs, get on this, this is a real yarn... well, go on you Comanches, this is Custer's last stand!

Space Hanlon: Now listen you illiterates, play this up big and we'll be on the front page for a month!

Reporter: She's got a fat chance of adopting a kid now.

Space Hanlon: Well, why should she? You think I want my Bombshell to turn into a rubber nipple?

Space Hanlon: Now, get this you Seminoles, get this in your lead: Two Lovers Brawl In Burns Home. You know, jealousy angle. Primitive stuff. Stone age. Two savages fighting over a gorgeous girl. Mad with desire. Use some of the lines you had in those pulp novel you've all been writin' for a long time.

Space Hanlon: Don't worry. She can't get very far without being spotted. There's 110 million people that know that face and know that figure.

Space Hanlon: You aren't the only one that knows about Desert Springs, you know. Besides, the desert is just about the best place that I know of to get dramatically drunk. I've got two suitcases there full of high-tone tonics that's gonna make me forget I ever saw the inside of a studio. The me for Tahiti and the blue lagoon and chasing those brown-skinned babies through the bamboo bushes.

Lola Burns: You know as much as I'd like to, I wouldn't even believe it if I'd heard you'd been eaten by a shark!

Lola Burns: As if, Gillette ever thought of *me* in connection with "Alice in Wonderland".

Space Hanlon: Well, there's the item right there. I released it myself on his own memo. You were to do it next. He finally got wised up to the kind of parts you ought to play.

Lola Burns: Well, it's too late now.

Space Hanlon: Swell part though, I hear that, eh, Alice Cole is gonna do it.

Lola Burns: Just because her name is Alice, I suppose.

Space Hanlon: Oh, no, no, no. She's a perfect Janet Gaynor type. You know, sweet and untouchable.

Mr. Middleton: I can't understand why Lewis Stone gets all these parts.

Mrs. Middleton: I've always been compared to Alice Brady.

Space Hanlon: Yes. Yes. I know. And you know everybody thought I was Jackie Cooper until Great Garbo took me on her lap one day. Well, I'll be seein' ya!