Robert Spritzel Quotes in The Weather Man (2005)

Dave Spritz: We both just think it's better for the kids.

Robert Spritzel: David, sacrifice is... to get anything of value, you have to sacrifice.

Dave Spritz: I know that dad, but I think that if we continue down this road, it's gonna be too detrimental for the kids. It's just too hard.

Robert Spritzel: Do you know that the harder thing to do and the right thing to do are usually the same thing? Nothing that has meaning is easy. "Easy" doesn't enter into grown-up life.

Dave Spritz: Why are you here, anyway?

Robert Spritzel: I came to talk to Noreen about an issue concerning Shelly.

Dave Spritz: Well, you can talk to me. I'm her parent, too. So? What?

Robert Spritzel: Shelly dresses in clothing not appropriate for her... clinging stuff.

Dave Spritz: All kids wear... Dad, it's a different generation.

Robert Spritzel: They call her camel toe.

Dave Spritz: What?

Robert Spritzel: Are you aware of that?

Dave Spritz: What?

Robert Spritzel: That her colleagues call her camel toe.

Dave Spritz: What are you talking about?

Robert Spritzel: It means the crease in her vagina that they can discern through her clothing.

Dave Spritz: What?

Robert Spritzel: Camel toe.

Robert Spritzel: This shit life... we must chuck some things. We must chuck them... in this shit life. There's always looking after.

Robert Spritzel: What happened to you?

Dave Spritz: I got hit with a Frosty.

Robert Spritzel: Why did you get hit with a Frosty?

Robert Spritzel: What is a Frosty?

Dave Spritz: It's a shake. From Wendy's.

Robert Spritzel: Why did you get hit with a shake?

Robert Spritzel: I read your book.

Dave Spritz: Fuck. I was gonna do, some more work on it, then I chucked it.

Robert Spritzel: You chucked it?

Dave Spritz: Garbage.

Robert Spritzel: I-it's just what I do, David, I've practiced and I've gotten good. Like you and the weather business.

Dave Spritz: But I don't predict it. Nobody does, 'cause i-it's just wind. It's wind. It blows all over the place! What the fuck!

Robert Spritzel: [Robert Spritz drives up] Weatherman!

[Dave prepares to be hit with food]

Dave Spritz: [Dave gets in his father's car] Hey.

Robert Spritzel: Hi.

Dave Spritz: Are you all right?

Robert Spritzel: Yeah. Umm, I just wanted you to...

Dave Spritz: What?

[Robert Spritz begins playing Bob Seger's "Like a Rock"]

Robert Spritzel: I don't really get it. Am I following it?

Dave Spritz: It was just a lead up to other things I wanted to say. Here's the part.

["... And I held firm to what I felt was right like a rock..."]

Dave Spritz: I wanted to talk about that part... about you. That's like you.

[pauses]

Dave Spritz: I got the job.

Robert Spritzel: New York?

[Dave Spritz nods his head yes]

Robert Spritzel: That's terrific. That's a remarkable income. That's more money than I ever made, that salary.

Dave Spritz: Yeah.

Robert Spritzel: That's quite an American accomplishment.

Dave Spritz: Thanks.

Robert Spritzel: Are you okay?

Dave Spritz: I can't knuckle down. Noreen's marrying Russ.

Dave Spritz: There's nothing to knuckle down on, so... I can't fucking knuckle down.

Robert Spritzel: Your hand...

Dave Spritz: I just saw Mike's counselor.

Robert Spritzel: Mike mentioned that you were gonna fix this business up. He's in no trouble?

[Dave shakes his head no]

Robert Spritzel: Good job. Your hand okay?

Dave Spritz: It's okay.

Robert Spritzel: You certain?

Dave Spritz: Don't worry.

Russ: Dave, step back right now.

Dave Spritz: Fuck you right now.

Russ: Fuck you, Spritz.

Dave Spritz: Fuck you, fat asshole! Dildo!

Robert Spritzel: David, what are you doing?

Dave Spritz: I'm talking to my wife! I'm talking to Noreen, and this clown whose business this isn't.

Russ: You call me a dildo, it is my business, Spritz.

Dave Spritz: You *are* a dildo, pork fuck. You porker!

Robert Spritzel: Where's the paper, David?

Dave Spritz: I didn't have enough money.

Robert Spritzel: You bought a coffee...

Dave Spritz: [mishearing] What?

Robert Spritzel: You bought a coffee.

Dave Spritz: Yeah, that, and then I didn't have enough money after.

Robert Spritzel: What?

Dave Spritz: I didn't have enough money after I bought the coffee, so...

Robert Spritzel: [slightly annoyed] You should carry more than a dollar, David. You're a grown man!

Lauren: How's Shelly?

Dave Spritz: She's doing great.

Lauren: Little angel!

Dave Spritz: Yeah, she doing great...

Robert Spritzel: [comes downstairs] Who's an angel?

Lauren: Shelly...

Robert Spritzel: Shelly is grossly overweight and unhappy. I'm concerned about her, as I am Michael. David?

Dave Spritz: Yeah, Dad...

Robert Spritzel: Dildos and more fucking?