Ms. Werner Quotes in Paternity (1981)

Buddy Evans: [looking at Ms. Werner's teeth] What are those?

Ms. Werner: What are what?

Buddy Evans: Those things on your teeth.

Ms. Werner: [lisping] They're braces.

Buddy Evans: [imitates lisp] I know they're braces. But do you have to wear them?

Ms. Werner: No, they're the latest in costume jewelry. Of course I have to wear them.

Buddy Evans: I see. Well, it's just that I don't want my son to look like Jaws 2.

Ms. Werner: Well, he could end up with your forehead.

Buddy Evans: What's wrong with my forehead?

Ms. Werner: Look at those lines.

Buddy Evans: What lines?

Ms. Werner: Looks like it's suffering from erosion.

Buddy Evans: As long as we're talking about looks, your nose isn't exactly classic.

Ms. Werner: Has anyone ever suggested that you plant corn in your eyebrows?

Buddy Evans: My eyebrows are fine.

Ms. Werner: Sure, if you're into wildlife.

Buddy Evans: That's very amusing.

Ms. Werner: Thank you.

Buddy Evans: As long as we're talking about hair, about that "mat" on your head.

Ms. Werner: What about it?

Buddy Evans: Well, do you shampoo it or do you have it crop-dusted?

[chuckles]

Ms. Werner: [stepping out of Buddy's office angrily] That is the rudest man I have ever met.

Laurie: Please, forgive him. This is very important to him.

Ms. Werner: [voice breaking] I can understand about my braces, but there is nothing wrong with my nose.

Laurie: It's a terrific nose.

Ms. Werner: [stepping into the elevator, crying] Ah, Quimby sucks!