Maura Ellis Quotes in Sisters (2015)

Maura Ellis: [the sisters are clothes shopping for the party] We need a little less Forever 21 and a little more Suddenly 42.

Maura Ellis: [the sisters have visited their parents uninvited only to realize that they are otherwise engaged] Did we just cock block our parents?

Kate Ellis: They were fresh off the sex griddle!

[Brinda has crashed Kate and Maura's party and is talking to James, whom Maura has a crush on]

Kate Ellis: Are you serious? 'Cause I am straight-up baffled.

Brinda: I'm sorry?

Kate Ellis: I believe you called this party "a sad and desperate event"?

Brinda: Well, I just figured I'd pop in and say hello to everyone. I mean, we're all adults now, right?

Kate Ellis: Nice try. On your bike, bitch.

Maura Ellis: [whimpers]

Kate Ellis: Get your peanut butter outta my sister's chocolate.

Brinda: Wow.

Kate Ellis: I respect your jumpsuit, but not its contents. Hit it.

Maura Ellis: Can I borrow me your bathroom? Number one only.

Maura Ellis: I've been thinking...

Kate Ellis: Why?

Maura Ellis: We are on the way to a shelter to give people this party food.

Brinda: Oh, is that why you're dressed like the homeless?

Maura Ellis: I don't wear thongs. I have a very fussy taint.

Maura's Patient: No, I don't need lotion in there!

Maura Ellis: [Shushes] Yeah, you do need lotion in there.

Maura Ellis: Blue? What would possess a person to paint stained wood blue? What, were you raised on a tugboat?

Maura Ellis: How can one person have two colonoscopy stories?

Maura Ellis: E-A-T... S-H-I-T.

Maura Ellis, Kate Ellis: Fuck the haters!

Maura Ellis: [Policeman writes on his note pad] Why don't you write this on your notepad. E.A.T...

[Policeman starts writing]

Maura Ellis: S.H.I.T...

Kate Ellis: Okay! Oh My GOD!

[Unrated version only]

Kate Ellis: Oh, I'm so sorry that you couldn't get laid for the last five millionth time in your life.

Maura Ellis: Oh, I get! I get my fucking dick when I want to.

Kate Ellis: I know you get tons of dick!

Maura Ellis: Just not tonight and not recently.

Kate Ellis: Mmmm-hmmm.

Kate Ellis: I wish being gay was a choice, because I always did like that shorts and boots look.

Maura Ellis: Yeah I dunno, for me the deal breaker might be the eating of the pussy.

Kate Ellis: Oh really? 'Cause for me, it would just be the fucking unbearable amount of talking.