Mandy Quotes in Honey I Blew Up the Kid (1992)

Mandy: [seeing how large Adam has gotten] There is no way I'm changing those diapers.

Mandy: Jimmy and the boys are bringing the car. You help set up the big fellow, it'll make you a star.

Sammy the Turk: They said they had it farmed out, they had it ghosted. But when I walked out the door, they just left me posted.

Jimmy Loughnan: The gun was for real, it was not a lark. But the twit took him out to the wrong car park.

Chopper: Silly boys, that's all that Chopper had to say, and poor little Sammy got blown away.

Dame Olga: I want to look 25 at tonight's ball. What do you suggest?

Mandy: A time machine?

Make-Up Artist: May I recommend our newest procedure? Bat feces and oxen blood. Battox!

Mandy: I love you too, my little pookie pages.

Benny: Not as much as I love you, cuddlebuns.

Mandy: Ohh, I love you more!

Ella: Okay! Lots of love, moving on.

Dame Olga: [after Ella has been arrested] A felon in my own family. I could die from embarrassment.

Mandy: [under her breath] Promises, promises.

Mandy: [Talking about Bennie] He knows everything.

Benny: Thanks sweetie, but not everything. If I did, I'd be a lot thicker.

Mandy: [Mandy describes to Matt the importance of women's power of abstinence] Women have been doing this since, well, forever, so we know all about the power. See, us having the power, that's part of the system, and by you taking the power, you're fucking with the system. And I think you see why we can't let that happen.

Mandy: Want some?

Colin Ware: Not this morning thanks.

Mandy: With you I don't even feel self-conscious.

Colin Ware: That's good.

Mandy: It's not about sex, if that's what you're thinking. Though it kinda feels like we might.

Colin Ware: I think it could go either way.

Stan Coombs: [introducing Nance] Her name's Nance. In case your interested?

Jack Simpson: Am not, I've got a girlfriend.

Mandy: [walks in angrily] No you don't!

Jack Simpson: Mandy, what are you doing here?

Mandy: Returning your things.

[throws a pack of cigarettes into Jack's hands, Stan laughs]

Jack Simpson: [shouting to Mandy] Better all be here!

Mandy: Listen honey, you can pick the guy, you just can't pick the family.

Mandy: You know, drinking from aluminum gives you Alzheimers.

Henry: Is that true?

Mandy: Uh huh. It's the perfect crime, 'cause you can't remember how you got it.

Mandy: You live in terror of not being misunderstood.

Mandy: What's true about music is true about life: that beauty reveals everything because it expresses nothing.

Mandy: Now, just because someone sees, you know, two naked people asleep in bed together, it doesn't necessarily prove sex was involved. It does, however, make for a very strong case.

Mandy: I just, uh... don't think I have what you're looking for.

Arthur: See, I think you do, actually.

Mandy: Oh, yeah? And what makes you think so?

Arthur: Well, that smile for one thing.

Mandy: Well, smiles lie.

Arthur: Exactly.

Jimmy: [after Kate explains an attack] It sounds to me like some vigilante train driver got a wee bit carried away. The way I see it, you should be thankin' the man, not runnin' away from him.

Kate: No, no, no, you have no idea. You didn't see what he did to Guy.

Jimmy: The rapist?

Mandy: Can I have a fag, Jim?

Kate: I'm telling you, something is not *right* down here!

Jimmy: [after he hands Mandy a cigarette, which she is not aware of] There's a lot of things not right doon 'ere, sweetheart.

Mandy: Can I have a fag, Jim?

Jimmy: You've got one in your fingers, babe!

Jimmy: [realising Kate needs help, and has paid him money to help her find the guard] Mandy... babe! Gonna help our wee friend Kate here

Mandy: [under the influence, soon after the introductions] Who?

Jimmy: Gonna help our friend Kate here, gonna take her to see the guard

Mandy: [after an uncertain silence] D'ya fancy 'er?

Jimmy: No, I fancy you

[kisses her cheek]

Nick: I just moved here from Pittsburgh.

Mandy: [flirting, large smile] That's cool!

Nick: Well... so what do you guys do for fun around here?

[Kaley smiles seductively at him and slightly raises an eyebrow and the camera angle cuts to them syncing their phones]

Kaley: You got it?

Nick: Yeah. Kaylie Mack.

Mandy: [still smiling] I'll give you my number, too!

[Kaley looks at Mandy with subdued fury and then back at Nick]

Nick: Well, cool. Well, I'll catch you guys later.

[Kaley smiles and nods and he begins leaving]

Kaley: Nick! Avery's...

[seems hesitant or thinking while she speaks]

Kaley: having a party at her house this weekend

[pauses]

Kaley: ... if you wanna come.

Nick: [grins; chuckles] Maybe. Text me the details.

[holds up his phone; Kaley gives him a pleased smile as Avery looks mad and then when Nick leaves Kaley turns excitedly to the girls]

Avery: Kaley, what are you doing? I am not having a party.

Mandy: You have to!

[Kaley remembers Mandy's flirtation and her face turns serious]

Kaley: First of all, Mandy, I saw him first.

Mandy: [teeth clenched, smiling] No, you didn't.

[speaks normally]

Mandy: He talked to all three of us at the same. time.

Avery: I gave him the tissues, so I get first dibs.

Avery: [frustrated, amused] Guys, it doesn't matter, anyway!

Mandy: [to Avery, smiling slyly] What about Trevor? It's the perfect chance to be alone with him.

Kaley: It won't be a rager. Just a few, intimate friends. Please?

[scoffs in infatuation]

Kaley: That guy is gorgeous!

[Avery looks from girl to girl]

Avery: Okay, fine! But, just a few friends and we're not calling it a party.

John: [Mandy is seated against the edge of a graffiti wall, watching John come closer to her with the gun] Do you remember me?

[Mandy's eyes shut and after a few seconds she regretfully nods]

John: I remember you, too.

[her eyes look away as she realizes why she is there and John walks closer and kneels down in front of her and rips off the tape from her mouth]

Mandy: [hysterical] I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!

John: [points gun touching her lips, speaks punctuated] Be... quiet.

[she whimpers and finally quiets, looking at the floor]

John: I just have one question.

[Mandy quietly whimpers]

John: Why did you do that do me?

Mandy: I don't know. It was so stupid. Kaley came up with the idea and we thought it would be funny, I guess. It was mean; we shouldn't have done it.

John: [quiet anger and resentment building] It was Kaley's idea, I see. So... if I had to pick one person to blame, that person would be Kaley.

[Mandy cries]

Mandy: What are you gonna do to me? If you let me go, I swear I won't say anything to anyone. We'll call it even! We played a joke; you played one.

John: Except this isn't a joke. This is very real. The pain I felt at the airport was real. And you're soon gonna understand pain.

Mandy: I'm so sorry. We never wanted to hurt you.

[John stands and begins walking]

John: I think you did. I'm pretty sure that's why you did it.

Mandy: I swear to God We never even considered it. It was just a stupid thing for this stupid blog.

John: It's my turn, now, to be mean.

Kaley: [Kaley is controlling her laughter and gleefully recording Trevor on the bed, with a glass of water she eventually pours on his crotch, which wakes him up. She eventually cannot control her laughter] Oh, my God!

Trevor Lansing: [exclaims] Ohhhhhhhhhh.

Kaley: [giggling] Look! You pissed yourself!

Trevor Lansing: [starts arising from the bed] Go to hell, Kaley!

Mandy: [comes in as Kaley is laughing] What happened?

Trevor Lansing: [annoyed] Ask your friend.

[leaves]

Mandy: Kaley! You promised not to play a trick on him.

Kaley: It's water.

[looks at her phone and puts it back]

Kaley: He's fine.

Mandy: I can't believe I gave you another chance. You don't even realize what you did wrong. Seriously, I'm done. Just get the hell out of my house.

Kaley: You know what? That's fine with me. I don't wanna be friends with you, either. You're not even fun to be around. All you do is bitch and whine. It's getting really old.

[turns and leaves as Mandy looks at her cross with her arms intertwined but then looks down, feeling bad]