John Watson Quotes in Young Sherlock Holmes (1985)

[Mrs Dribb has locked Holmes and Watson in an upstairs room]

John Watson: I always suspected that becoming a friend of yours would end in disaster!

John Watson: [to Holmes] Well, I knew it. This is the end of my medical career. My father's going to be furious. I always knew that making friends with you would end up in disaster.

John Watson: I can't afford to jeopardise my medical career!

Sherlock Holmes: Weasel.

John Watson: I'm not a weasel. I am... practical.

Sherlock Holmes: Weasels *are* practical. And I imagined you courageous and stout of heart.

John Watson: I am courageous. And I'm stout of heart. It's just that... oh, all right. I'll do it.

Elizabeth Hardy: [giving Holmes Waxflatter's hat] Uncle would have wanted you to have this.

John Watson: Put it on!

[Holmes puts it on and Watson and Elizabeth start laughing]

John Watson: On second thoughts, take it off! It looks very silly!

John Watson: [after a hallucination involving food] Yes, Mister French Pastry. I have nothing whatsoever to say to you. I trust you have nothing to say to me.

Sherlock Holmes: You're sitting in a room with an all-southern view. Suddenly, a bear walks by the window. What colour is the bear?

John Watson: Red! The bear is red!

Sherlock Holmes: Why on Earth would the bear be red?

John Watson: The southern sun is very hot. The bear would be terribly burnt!

Sherlock Holmes: [laughs] That is the most absurd answer I've ever heard.

Elizabeth Hardy: No. Uncle didn't kill himself.

John Watson: Well, then, what happened to him?

Sherlock Holmes: [entering suddenly through the window] He was murdered.

Cragwitch: Yes, I mustn't forget. I must pass on this information. It's time someone else knew EVERYTHING!

Sherlock Holmes: The Egyptian village, has it been burned to the ground?

Cragwitch: Yes...

[sees candle flames, slams his hand angrily against his desk]

Cragwitch: Yes! YES! Luckily we got out of Egypt with our lives. When we returned to England, we went our separate ways, all of us, however, keeping in constant touch with Waxflatter through regular correspondence. When the murders began, I met quite frequently with my dear friend.

Sherlock Holmes: What does all this have to do with the Ramatep?

Cragwitch: [Hands Holmes a letter] Almost a year after the incident, each one of us received this letter. It was sent by a young boy, a young boy of Anglo-Egyptian descent. You'll notice that the letterhead is adorned by the symbol of the Ramatep, two golden serpents. The boy who wrote the letter and his sister were staying in England with their grandfather when they learned of the destruction of the Egyptian village, the village which was their home. Both their parents were killed in the attack. The boy vowed when he grew to manhood that the Ramatep would take their revenge and replace the bodies of the five Egyptian princesses.

Sherlock Holmes: And the boy was called Ehtar.

John Watson: Ehtar... those were Waxflatter's final words!

Sherlock Holmes: Very good, Watson.

Cragwitch: [hallucinating, attacks Holmes and tries to strangle him] EH TAR! You filthy murderer! You wanted to kill us all! Well you won't kill me!

Sherlock Holmes: Watson! Speak to him!

John Watson: What? Oh! Your... your name is Craddy Critchwit! I mean, your name is Ch-...! Your name is...! What's his name?

Sherlock Holmes: [Choking] Cragwitch!

John Watson: Amazing, Holmes. Simply amazing. Of course, you did forget one very important clue.

Sherlock Holmes: Oh? Please enlighten me.

John Watson: Well, "Rathe" is "Ehtar" spelled backwards.

Sherlock Holmes: Very clever, Watson. Well, I'm certain I would have arrived at that conclusion sooner or later.

John Watson: [smiling] Sooner or later.

John Watson: Holmes, wait! I know why the bear is white!

Sherlock Holmes: And why is that, Watson?

John Watson: Well, the only room with an all-southern view would be at the North Pole. It's a polar bear!

Sherlock Holmes: Bravo, Watson. You have the makings of a great detective.

[about the violin]

Sherlock Holmes: I should've mastered the damn thing by now.

John Watson: How long have you been playing?

Sherlock Holmes: Three days.

Sherlock Holmes: Why can't I think of anything?

John Watson: You're flustered. You must calm down.

Sherlock Holmes: Why can't you think of anything?

John Watson: I'm flustered.

John Watson: That was a girl.

Sherlock Holmes: Brilliant deduction, Watson.

John Watson: Dudley is going to pay dearly for this. Punch to the jaw, jab to the ribs...

Sherlock Holmes: Now, now, Watson. Revenge is sweetest when it's served up cold. Come on.

[Dudley enters with snow-white hair]

Dudley: Holmes. You did this. You're responsible, aren't you?

Sherlock Holmes: So that's where I dropped my chemistry experiment: into your tea. Oh, don't worry, old chap. It'll wear off shortly. You should be back to normal - by summertime.

[while flying]

Sherlock Holmes: I've just realised something.

John Watson: What?

Sherlock Holmes: I have absolutely no idea how to land this machine.

John Watson: Holmes, wait. What if the murderer is inside?

Sherlock Holmes: Then I shall introduce myself to him.

John Watson: What have I gotten myself into?

Sherlock Holmes: The adventure of a lifetime, Watson.

[Holmes is about to smash his violin]

John Watson: Stop! Isn't it valuable?

Sherlock Holmes: What's more important, its value or my sanity?

[Holmes and Elizabeth investigate a noise in the library, and find Watson on the floor, next to a ladder]

Sherlock Holmes: Elizabeth, let me introduce you to my new friend, the honourable, but clumsy, Watson.

John Watson: [standing up] The ladder's a bit wobbly.

Elizabeth Hardy: Hello.

[Holmes, Watson and Elizabeth are walking across the courtyard, when a voice causes them to look up]

Waxflatter: Holmes! Elizabeth! I think I have solved all of the problems!

John Watson: [looking up] Who's that?

Elizabeth Hardy: My Uncle.

Sherlock Holmes: Rupert T. Waxflatter. Retired schoolmaster, degrees in Chemistry and Biology, well versed in Philosophy, Mathematics and Physics. Author of 27 books.

[Holmes walks on]

Elizabeth Hardy: And most people think he's a lunatic.

[Elizabeth walks on]

John Watson: Why?

[Waxflatter launches his flying machine]

John Watson: Oh, my God!

[Over dinner, the student are discussing what they will do in later life]

John Watson: I want to be a doctor.

Dudley: Nobody asked you!

John Watson: Sorry!

[in order to obtain information about the blowpipe, Watson is forced to make a purchase from a curiosity shop]

Sherlock Holmes: Why on earth did you buy a pipe?

John Watson: It looks distinguished!

Sherlock Holmes: It's perfectly ridiculous!

[Holmes and Watson visit an Egyptian style Tavern]

Egyptian Tavern Owner: What can I get for you boys? Drink, food, women?

John Watson: Do you have any soup?

Sherlock Holmes: Watson, please!

[removing the blowpipe from his pocket]

Sherlock Holmes: Do you know anything about this?

Egyptian Tavern Owner: [looking at the blowpipe] Ramatep! Ramatep! Ramatep! Ramatep! Ramatep!

[the tavern falls silent]

John Watson: [turning to face Holmes] Is that the end of the song?

[after Elizabeth finds a scrap of cloth, she accompanies Holmes and Watson to a deserted building in Wapping]

John Watson: I knew it, there's no-one here. Back to school, eh?

Sherlock Holmes: Watson, you'll be on your own!

[the trio have found a wooden pyramid]

John Watson: Holmes, there's a door here!

[Turning to Elizabeth]

John Watson: Fancy him missing a door!

[Holmes and Watson visit an Egyptian style Tavern]

The Reverend Duncan Nesbitt: What can I get for you boys? Drink, food, women?

John Watson: Do you have any soup?

Sherlock Holmes: Watson, please!

[removing the blowpipe from his pocket]

Sherlock Holmes: Do you know anything about this?

The Reverend Duncan Nesbitt: [looking at the blowpipe] Rame Tep! Rame Tep! Rame Tep! Rame Tep! Rame Tep!

[the tavern falls silent]

John Watson: [turning to face Holmes] Is that the end of the song?

[the trio have found a wooden pyramid]

John Watson: Holmes, there's a door here!

[turning to Elizabeth]

John Watson: Fancy him missing a door!

[Mrs. Dribb has locked Holmes and Watson in an upstairs room]

John Watson: I always suspected that becoming a friend of yours would end in disaster!

John Watson: My name is...

Sherlock Holmes: Wait - let me. Your name is James Watson. You're from the north, your father's a doctor, you spend much time writing, and you're fond of custard tarts. Am I correct?

John Watson: My name isn't James, it's John.

Sherlock Holmes: What's the difference?

John Watson: A great deal.

Sherlock Holmes: Very well, so your name is John. How did I do on the others?

John Watson: You were correct. On every count. How is it done? Is it some sort of magic trick?

Sherlock Holmes: No magic, Watson. Pure and simple deduction. The name-tag on your mattress reads "J Watson". I selected the most common name with "J". "John" was my second choice. Your shoes aren't made in the city. I've seen them before when visiting the north of England. Your left middle finger has a callus, the trademark of a writer. You were carrying a medical book not available to the general public, only to physicians. Since you can't have been to medical school, it was given to you by an older person, someone who is concerned for your health: Your father, the doctor.

John Watson: And the custard tarts?

Sherlock Holmes: Simple. There's a stain of yellow custard used in making tarts on your lapel, and your shape convinced me you've eaten many before.

John Watson: There's no need to be rude.

Sherlock Holmes: I think that maybe it's time to retire me. I miss London: his streets, his bikes, his cars, his buildings, his parks... Maybe I could to investigate about bees. Always I was intrigued about the reason they do hexagonal cells. I could live in the country beekeeping, and write a book about it.

John Watson: And maybe a woman?

Sherlock Holmes: [sarcastic] Don't be killjoy Watson! Don't add fog to the landscape.

John Watson: [about Crystal Palace in The Buen Retiro Park] It's so luminous, so bright.

Sherlock Holmes: It's so luminous that sun enters the palace to take a sunbathe.

Sherlock Holmes: How are his notions about Spanish language?

John Watson: [ironic] Excellents. I will not question about his notions: his Spanish language must be so perfect as his swahili.