Donald Gresham Quotes in The Moon Is Blue (1953)

Donald Gresham: [taking her to his apartment for the first time] Now, you're sure you don't mind coming in?

Patty O'Neill: Quite sure.

Donald Gresham: No qualms?

Patty O'Neill: Not a qualm in the world. And I am not reflecting on your virility either.

Donald Gresham: Let's leave my virility out of this!

Donald Gresham: Why are you so preoccupied with sex?

Patty O'Neill: Who, me?

Donald Gresham: Yes, you.

Patty O'Neill: You really think I am?

Donald Gresham: Well, you are always asking if people plan seduction or they're bored with virgins or they have a mistress... Now, if that isn't being preoccupied with sex, I'd like to know what is.

Patty O'Neill: You may be right.

[pauses momentarily]

Patty O'Neill: But don't you think it's better for a girl to be preoccupied with sex than occupied?

Patty O'Neill: If Cynthia came down now and cried over you a little and fussed over you right bit, I bet...

Donald Gresham: Let's not talk about Cynthia.

Patty O'Neill: Well, she called me a "professional virgin". That's what I came back to talk about. Not Cynthia, don't worry, only what she said.

Donald Gresham: It was a rather unfortunate phrase and I was mad...

Patty O'Neill: May I ask why does Cynthia object to virgins?

Donald Gresham: Look, nobody in their right mind could seriously object to being called a virgin.

Patty O'Neill: OK, but it's this "professional" that makes me mad. I'd like to have that explained.

Donald Gresham: It's not necessary to advertise it. That's really all the phrase means.

Patty O'Neill: What's wrong with advertising?

Donald Gresham: [exasperated] People who advertise are anxious to *sell* something!

Donald Gresham: Believe it or not, I never touched her.

David Slater: You know, it just occurred to me, that might very well have been the wrong you done her, according to Cynthia's book. Now I can understand why she was so sore this morning. A very humiliating experience. I probably should beat you up, anyway.

Donald Gresham: Let me get this straight. I am to be horsewhipped for *not* seducing your daughter?

David Slater: It's quite a new twist, isn't it?

Patty O'Neill: You struck a woman?

David Slater: Why certainly. In fact I seldom strike anyone *but* a woman. Oh, I'm not the belligerent type. I'm also a coward.

Donald Gresham: Now don't be too modest. Occasionally you'll strike a small man.

David Slater: If he's defenseless, yes.

Donald Gresham: Believe it or not, I am a full-fledged architect. Build you anything from a cathedral to a bomb shelter.

Patty O'Neill: How much would a cathedral cost these days? A small one.

Patty O'Neill: I am so glad you don't mind.

Donald Gresham: Mind what?

Patty O'Neill: Oh, men are usually so bored with virgins. I am so glad you are not.

Donald Gresham: [on the observation deck at the top of the Empire State building] Oh? What are you excited about?

Patty O'Neill: Coming up here. I wanted to for years.

Donald Gresham: Well then, why didn't you?

Patty O'Neill: Frankly, because I couldn't afford it. Can get a lovely pair of nylons for dollar twenty.

Donald Gresham: [In the taxi, on the way to his apartment] You won't mind coming up, will you?

Patty O'Neill: I am not so sure. Will you try to seduce me?

Donald Gresham: I, I don't know. Probably. why?

Patty O'Neill: Why? A girl wants to know.

Donald Gresham: A girl is supposed to be intuitive about those things. You don't go around bluntly asking questions like that.

Patty O'Neill: I do. I always do.

Donald Gresham: And what happens if they say yes, they are going to try to seduce you.

Patty O'Neill: I generally believe them. And then I am out one dinner.

Donald Gresham: And if they say their intentions are honorable?

Patty O'Neill: I generally believe that. But you get fooled some times. I hate men like that. I mean, after all, they are lots of girls who don't mind being seduced. Why pick on those who do?

Donald Gresham: OK, I won't make a single pass at you. Do you believe me?

Patty O'Neill: Yes. Yes, I do. You're nice. I like you.

Donald Gresham: I could be lying.

Patty O'Neill: That's true. Are you?

Donald Gresham: I don't know. I've never run up against anybody like you before.

Patty O'Neill: How nice!

Donald Gresham: But I won't take an oath that I am not going to kiss you.

Patty O'Neill: Oh, that's alright. Kissing's fine. I have no objection to that.

Patty O'Neill: Oh, I know! Let's not go out. Let's fix dinner up here. I am simply a sensational cook.

Donald Gresham: Well, unfortunately I haven't any sensational food.

Patty O'Neill: Oh, you must have something.

[opens the icebox]

Patty O'Neill: I thought you surely must have some leftovers. You know, what I can do with leftovers is nobody's business! Do you like kadguree?

Donald Gresham: I beg your pardon?

Patty O'Neill: Kadguree. It's made with finnan haddie. Do you have any finnan haddie?

Donald Gresham: I wouldn't be found dead with finnan haddie.

Patty O'Neill: Aw, that's an awful thing to say. You haven't even tasted it. It's delicious.

Patty O'Neill: Don't you ever eat meals up here?

Donald Gresham: Nope.

Patty O'Neill: No wonder you are so unhappy and maladjusted.

Donald Gresham: I am not a bit unhappy and my adjustment is just dandy!

Patty O'Neill: Well, I think it's awful to let this darling kitchen go to waste. This lovely icebox and stove. And that garbage disposal with nobody to use it. I want to cry, honestly.

David Slater: Don't you find I have a certain weird charm?

Patty O'Neill: Yes, that's your whole trouble. You have entirely too much charm.

Donald Gresham: And it certainly *is* weird.

Patty O'Neill: Do you mind if I take my shoes off?

Donald Gresham: Take off anything you like.