Charlotte Flax Quotes in Mermaids (1990)

Charlotte Flax: I DON'T WANT TO GO, I WANT TO STAY!

Rachel Flax: And do what?

Charlotte Flax: FINISH HIGH SCHOOL!

Rachel Flax: GREAT START! What's your major, Town Tramp?

Charlotte Flax: NO, MOM! THE TOWN ALREADY HAS ONE!

[Rachel slaps her]

Charlotte Flax: Oh god. I think I might be pregnant with the next Jewish Italian Messiah

Charlotte Flax: Please God don't let me fall in love and want to do disgusting things... Dear God, I love the way he throws.

Charlotte Flax: Sometimes I feel like you're the child and I'm the grown up.

Charlotte Flax: Oh, I'm going to hell for sure. Here he is, talking about his poor dead mother and I can't help wishing his hands were unbuttoning my dress!

Rachel Flax: Alright, you know what? I'll make you a deal. You stop being a little bitch for, let's say, oh, I don't know, an hour or two, and I won't knock the religion of your choice for a week. Deal?

Charlotte Flax: Deal!

Rachel Flax: Who's that?

Charlotte Flax: That's Mr. Crane, my history teacher, and he is very nice.

Rachel Flax: *He* is an asshole.

Charlotte Flax: You haven't even spoken to him yet!

Rachel Flax: Charlotte, I don't need to speak to him. He's driving an Edsel, for Christ's sake.

Dr. Reynolds: [Charlotte thinks she is pregnant because she kissed Joe] Has your mother ever talked to you about sex?

Charlotte Flax: Uh... oh yeah! All the time. We talk about everything. She's a wonderful mother.

Dr. Reynolds: So you do know how babies are made?

Charlotte Flax: Oh, yeah.

Dr. Reynolds: Then why did you think you were pregnant? You're still a virgin.

Mary O'Brien: See that woman right there? That's my mother and when I grow up... I want to be just like yours.

Charlotte Flax: Mary, you already are.

Charlotte Flax: Okay mom, if you want to drive Lou away, that's your buisness. If you want Joe, it's war.

Charlotte Flax: So Joe, tell me about the nuns in the convent. Do they wear underwear in the shower?

Charlotte Flax: He has the most beautiful skin in captivity, I love him because he wears moccasins in the winter even though his feet must feel like blocks of ice.

Charlotte Flax: [while being dressed up like her mother] Care to dance, Mrs. Flax?

Charlotte Flax: I wanted to ask her what color her bra was and if she had pure thoughts every second of the day, but...

Charlotte Flax: I'm going to make real sandwiches; big ones that a man can sink his teeth into.

Charlotte Flax: A word about Mrs. Flax and food: the word is "hors d'oeurves." Fun Finger Foods is her main source book and it's all the woman cooks.