Rolf Harris quotes:

If you turn a smiling face on the world, you've got a chance of finishing up a good-looking old person.

As I walked up the imposing steps of the Royal Academy, I came fact to face with Alwen Hughes. She looked just as stunning as she had done in my first year at art school.

I had always been told by my parents, not implicitly told, but every inference was that Britain was the hub of the universe.

I will never shave off my beard and moustache. I did once, for charity, but my wife said, 'Good grief, how awful, you look like an American car with all the chrome removed.'

I was being singled out as the best in the class at this, that and the other, nearly always to do with art. And then I was a very good swimmer from a very early age, and once again the best in the class, and when I was about five or six, I was the best in the school.

When I was presenting 'Animal Hospital,' the grey started to creep into my beard and moustache. I used my wife's mascara to darken it.

When I draw my caricature self-portrait, I always do a huge smile.

I was hoping to do an impressionist painting, but I wanted a good likeness and I wanted to create a feeling of the lady as a person, as a human being rather than as a figurehead for the monarchy and a pomp-and-circumstance sort of formal portrait. I wanted more of a relaxed portrait.

If it's free put me down for two please

When you have been in TV and performing for as long as I have, you realise that you probably entertain in your sleep too... as for my catch phrase, I didn't actually say so much 'Can you see what it is yet?