Ring Lardner quotes:

Walter Mayer was a hero at a Salvation Army home fire in Cincinnati.

A good many young writers make the mistake of enclosing a stamped, self-addressed envelope, big enough for the manuscript to come back in. This is too much of a temptation to the editor.

He looked at me as if I were a side dish he hadn't ordered.

How can you write if you can't cry?

The family you come from isn't as important as the family you're going to have.

The only real happiness a ballplayer has is when he is playing a ball game and accomplishes something he didn't think he could do.

Shut up,' he explained.

They gave each other a smile with a future in it.

Some like them hot,some like them cold. Some like them when they're not to darn old Some like them fat,some like them lean. Some like them only at sweet sixteen. Some like them dark,some like them light. Some like them in the park,late at night. Some like them fickle,some like them true, But the time I like them is when they're like you