Raymond Simard quotes:

A programming language that is sort of like Pascal except more like assembly except that it isn't very much like either one, or anything else. It is either the best language available to the art today, or it isn't.

Fortunately, the second-to-last bug has just been fixed.

A unit of documentation. There are always three or more on a given item. One is on the shelf; someone has the others. The information you need is in the others.

GOTO, n.: A programming tool that exists to allow structured programmers to complain about unstructured programmers.