Ralphie May quotes:

Roses are red, violets are blue, so are my balls thanks to you.

I live in a very dangerous part of Los Angeles.. it's called Los Angeles.

Jesus was a pothead- long hair, beard, sandals, carpenter- do the math it all adds up. Living with twelve guys with no visible means of support.

My father passed on one important piece of relationship advice before he died. He said son, in a relationship you can either be right or you can be happy. You'll soon find out that you don't care that much about being right.

As a man seeing someone, have a decision: You can be correct or you can be glad.

As a man in a relationship, you have a choice: You can be right or you can be happy.

If you want to be called a dwarf you must be in immediate possession of a battle axe cause otherwise your just a midget with an attitude.